I agree with Poppy. As long as her child is part of a loving family, there is no need for them to be married. I think that it’s ridiculous that people get married strictly because they have a child together. I myself have two children with the same father and we were never married. A fact that I am truly grateful for. People change a lot when you have children. We learned that we weren’t the same people any more and though we love our children, we didn’t love each other the same way anymore. We are better apart than we we were together being parents to our girls. Had we done what everyone had told us and been married, we would then be stuck in a marriage with someone we didn’t want to be with. We didn’t think that would be healthy for our children.

As for the legal issues? If they are committed to each other for the long haul, there are things they can do. You don’t need to be married to be someone’s power of attorney medically. You don’t need to be married to own a home together. You don’t need to be married to have equal rights to your child. As for benefits? Well, they don’t need to be married for their child to share in either of their benefits packages, and they both work, therefore they are both capable of carrying their own benefits. And even if one of them weren’t working, there are options there as well. If someone wants to marry someone, it’s their choice.

To some people marriage isn’t just some solution, it’s a meaningful committment that they may not be ready to make.

I applaud Poppy for her choice. Who is any one to judge somebody else’s life choices?

I love the fact that she does see the need for marraige. Poppy is quite right: as long as the baby is part of a loving family that’s all that matters. Several of my extended family aren’t married to their partners but have children by them and been together for years. I don’t neccesarily see myself getting married either, but with a loving partner with whom I can share my life with.

Kate, I like how you brought up the point about why gays and lesbians are trying so hard to get gay marriage legal. It’s funny how they are trying so hard and fighting so hard for it and people who can, don’t. I’m just VERY old-fashioned (I swear I should have been born in the 1800′s) and I just can’t see myself having a family and sharing a life together with someone I’m not married to. But that’s her decision, her life. I’m not going to judge her on that.

Jackson is so, so, so adorable! I love this family!!

You don’t have to be married to have the legal benefits, overhere you can get a “living together contract”.

By doing a quick search it looks like only 9 states plus Washington, DC have common law marriage. There are also a bunch of requirements you need to meet for the legal system to recognize your union. Also, if you move to a state without common law marriage they may not recognize the union.

I do agree with Kate’s statement though. If people do not want to get married they need to make sure they have covered their legal rights pertaining to each other. And to their children.

MB, really? Wow. That is…unfortunate. It just seems so ridiculous to me that the government seems to think it has a right to force people into fitting into these very limiting and insensitive modes of being.

I will never get married (have a lot of very personal and moral reasons for this), but I certainly don’t begrudge anyone else that opportunity. For the government of Ohio (and others) to basically accept married couples, and reject committed couples who choose not to be married is only a symptom of a much larger social problem, in my opinion. How utterly sad.

By the way, Kate, I totally hear what you’re saying about gay rights though. I’m in Canada and am very proud of the fact that anyone who wants to be married can be married here. Although they did take their sweet time passing that law…

Anyway, I like what Poppy said, in general.

Kate, people understand that but not everyone wants to get married. I’m not a big fan of marriage but I support gay marriage. It’s not our place to judge people who choose not to get married. Also, just getting married for benefits just seems pointless. Those benefits aren’t going to fix issues within your relationship such as inability to communicate, adultery, etc. Also, how insulting would that be to tell someone I just want to marry you for benefits and health insurance.

“the 32-year-old actress”

She’s not 32. She was born 6/19/72

Amber: some states have gotten rid of common law marriage over here. I live in Ohio and a law was passed ending that 4 or 5 years ago.

Not sure how it works anywhere else, but where I live (not in the US) you can get work benefits (if you’re common law you’re considered a “spouse”) and you can easliy get medical proxy with the proper documentation. You don’t have to pay inheritance tax if you own the house together either.