Well guys…here I am posting months later but just in case anyone gets it or reads it here is the thing..we are all different. We are all going to handle things differently and have different needs. Some Mom’s have no choice but to work due to finances, others can get by not working, others choose to because they want to try doing both for the extra income. Some Dad’s I know stay home, Mom works. But I will say that I respect anyone’s decision to do and try what works for them. I fully respect the stay at home Mom just as much as the working Mom as I do the woman, like myself at the moment, who’s daughter passed away at birth last year to stay home and take classes and start a new business rather than throwing myself into another office situation 9-5 which I could not handle emotionally. Everyone, as I said, is different, and has different emotional needs and situations. We can all just agree to respect that and be supportive, whatever that is. And we will all go through different phases of our lives where sometimes one thing works where another would not at that time-am I making sense?

I think that working moms think SAHMs are “unhappy and unfulfilled” and SAHMs think that working moms (and I mean those that choose to work but could stay home, not those who have to work to support their family) are selfish and guilt-ridden.
I think most women would be SAHMs if they could afford it. I made the choice to be a SAHM for many reasons but a big one was I didn’t want someone else to be raising my children. Going to daycare for 10 or 12 hours a day is not my ideal life for my kids. And no matter what anyone says, there is no business meeting in the world that is more important than being at your child’s soccer game or ballet recital. If you drop them off at daycare at 7am and come home after they are already asleep, why did you have them? If you are only getting to spend an hour a day with your kids, that is terrible, and sends a message to them that your career means more than they do. Many of my neighbors are 2 income families and they spoil their children with the latest gadgets, expensive clothes, and tons of toys all to make up for the guilt they feel for not being there for their kids. When my kids look back on their childhoods, they won’t care that they didn’t have designer duds and every new video game system the day it came out, they will remember that mom was there for them every single day.

Isn’t it refreshing for the mom to just come out and inform us once the name has been chosen. No games, no fuss, no muss. I suppose it’s because she’s an old pro at this with three previous births under the belt?

I’ve noticed that the SAHMs or former SAHMs who say how easy it is usually dump their kids in front of the television all day or give them some toys and walk away. Try doing educational, fun activities all day with your children, homeschooling, cooking together, etc. and STILL having to get the laundry done, the house cleaned (I clean our home top to bottom each day), and three meals made a day. Oh, and then squeezing in an hour during nap time and an hour at bedtime to do something “fun” like write on a message board.

Beverley- that’s a great idea! I have worked outside the home full time since my son was 3 months old. Honestly, it works fine for us. I would probably go nuts having to stay home full time. It isn’t for me. Ideally, though, I would like to work part time. That, for me, would truly be the best of both worlds!

I’ve done all three. SAHM, work-from-home, and held down a full-time job. The easiest time I had was SAHM. I remember just being in Central Park all day every day. Sure I had to get the laundry done and dinner fixed but I never felt like I was playing beat the clock. When the children were napping or we were watching Alladin for the trillionth time I was pretty board.

I think I hated working from home the most. I didn’t have a home office so it just wasn’t conducive to my productivity. I need an office to go to even if it meant renting one.

A steady 8/9 hour job with children and husband always seems to me like a mad dash to the finish line. I felt like I was late for everything. Late for work. Late for school events. Late cooking dinner. Late relieving the babysitter. Ugh.

I think whatever your decision you simply have to own it and stop seeking approval or praise. And stop hating on those who made a choice different from yours.

I have a friend who is a SAHM with a full-time nanny and a chef and there is no shame in her game. Sometimes I secretly roll my eyes when she “complains” about all she has to do, but at the end of day she’s happy, her husband’s happy and her kids are the most fun-loving, prank-pulling (they got me good one April Fools), well-behaved cuties. She’s taught me that it’s okay to want, need, and USE help especially for those rough days.

I love the name Dylan. My husband and I were going to name our youngest Dylan if she turned out to be a boy.

But we were blessed with another gorgeous little girl.

Who knows, prehaps we’ll try again in a couple of years lol.

As for stay-at-home mums, I’m one of those and as far as I’m concerned it is a full time job.

I honestly think sometimes people underestimate how much work goes in to being a stay-at-home mum.

Granted, you do have a lot of fun with your child/children but it’s still a lot of work.