Julianne Moore: 'You're a better parent the more yourself you are.'

11/16/2007 at 07:41 AM ET

Julianneandkids Actress Julianne Moore says she’s never understood women who say that they’ve been transformed by motherhood.  For Julianne, herself mom to Caleb, turning 10-years-old next month, and Liv, 5 1/2, motherhood has served to enhance the person she’s always been. 

I think it’s dangerous to want to get rid of your self to parent. You’re a better parent the more yourself you are. It doesn’t mean you’re your self to the exclusion of other human beings, but ‘you’ have to be there. You have to be a ‘person’ there, not just ‘mom.’

Click below for the rest of the interview.

The message of nurturing and loving your true self is present in Julianne’s new children’s book Freckleface Strawberry($18) which Julianne says she was motivated to write after Caleb becameself-conscious about his appearance at age seven.  Julianne, turning 47next month, says she all-too-well remembers those same feelings ofself-doubt as a young girl.

Littlekids are so confident until this one point – and [then] they start tosee themselves as different. It’s heartbreaking, but so touching. Howdo you move through this? How do you explain to them that there’salways going to be something you don’t like necessarily – and that itmight not even go away when you grow up?

Together with husband Bart Freundlich, the foursome resides in New York City, and Julianne tells PoshCravings.com that she wouldn’t have it any other way.  According to Julianne, contrary to what many believe, the city is actually "very family-friendly." 

Thereare so many restaurants where we can bring our children. There areparks all over the city. We can go everywhere together. We live rightnear the Hudson River Park. The kids scooter around. We go to CentralPark where, on the east side, there’s a big stone slide right above thechildren’s zoo that the kids love. We have a place on Long Island wherewe go to the beach. The kids like that.

Now that the kids have reached an age where "no one has to take a nap,"Julianne says that the family is better able to travel together, andare debating a long-weekend trip to Paris.  But — just like it doesfor so many families — life often gets in the way of their plans. 

Wealways have the best of intentions; we don’t always follow through. Youalways have the weekend with the back-to-back birthday parties and thehomework and you end up going nowhere. But that’s okay. That’s kind ofwhere you are with a young family.

Julianne and Bart have been married since 2003. 

Source: PoshCravings.com 

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M on

I don’t think that women who say they’ve been transformed by motherhood are saying that they can’t or won’t be themselves anymore. I think the comments by Ms. Moore are very presumputous and rude. Mothers were mothers before her and they will be after her; her ideas about motherhood are NOT the end-all-to-end-all perfection.

Sarah on

“You’re a better parent the more yourself you are.”

As a stay-at-home-parent I really agree with this comment; though I am not always true to it. My first child was born when I was 29 and I can’t say I ever really found the right career for me before then. However, I did have many interests which I’m still very passionate about. When my four year old daughter talks about different jobs, and what she’ll do when she’s older, she asks, ‘What will you do when you grow up, Mummy?’. This is so cute, but has so much more meaning that she realises.

She sees her Daddy going out to work every day, but me at home. I really see the importance of her, and her younger sister, seeing me as more than just ‘Mum’.

So, I talk of the different jobs I have done and of my interests. I explain that some of my interests aren’t easy to follow at the moment (such as extensive days away enjoying adventure-sports in the New Zealand wilderness) but I’m looking forward to doing them again and introducing her to them too. I’ve started to do this in little ways – we go for local walks and get involved with local conservation groups. I’ve taken her to the local climbing wall and shown her videos of what I used to do.

I have other interests that are more easy to manage with young children – in music, the arts and literature – which are wonderful to share.

Being a full-time Mum is something I totally adore, for the meantime, and I can see myself working with children in the future.

It is so important to keep a hold on ‘who we are’ and continue our own journey of self-discovery; as we marvel and guide our children on their own.