Nicole Kidman says Connor, Isabella choose to live in Los Angeles

When asked in a recent interview why her children — Connor, 12, and Isabella, 14 — spend the bulk of their time with ex-husband Tom Cruise, actress Nicole Kidman cited their ages as reasoning.  Noting that "L.A. is a big draw" for the kids, Nicole says that she’s looking for a home in Southern California so that she and Tom "can share more."

When children are teenagers, they have a say in where they want to be.

Even though she’s not with them full-time, Nicole, 40, says she takes her responsibility to her kids seriously — and at no time was that responsibility more apparent than when her marriage to Tom collapsed. 

My daughter and son, their life is molded by the way I live. If I wasn’t willing to take on that responsibility, I shouldn’t have adopted them. Then it can be argued that you shouldn’t have gotten divorced, and that’s true, too, but sometimes you don’t have a decision in that. People fall out of love, they do.

Nicole, who has since married country singer Keith Urban, says that she’s taking a wait-and-see approach to more kids.  Says the Australian-born actress,

What will be will be. It’s in God’s hands.

Nicole also clarified earlier, erroneous reports that she’d suffered a miscarriage early into her marriage to Tom; According to Nicole, the pregnancy was ectopic. 

So it’s huge news, and it didn’t happen. I had a miscarriage at the end of my marriage, but I had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of my marriage. It was incredibly traumatic for me. Sometimes you share your grief.

For the full interview, check out the December issue of Marie Claire, on newsstands now.

Sources:  Marie Claire and People

Comments

And so Nicole, in an effort to be near her kids, takes film roles in Ronamia, Sweden, Australia for 7-8 months, London and in January on to Germany and probably back to London to film the 2 sequels to Golden Compass. Maybe she needs to rethink things.

- Claire on November 15th, 2007

I often forget she has children! I do wonder how often she sees them, but the children are the only ones that can say if they see her enough.

- Sarita on November 15th, 2007

Tom was/is filming in Berlin. I haven’t seen a single picture of the kids (other than Suri) being with him. Is he a bad father?

Men and women with kids join the military and serve overseas. Are they also bad parents?

Just because the kids live in LA doesn’t mean they don’t fly to see her on the weekends and holidays. Just because she is filming overseas doesn’t mean she doesn’t fly in to see them. With technology today and the amount of money that both Tom and Nicole make, who is to say that they are not in daily contact through web cams, e-mails and phone calls.

Until you have documented proof of exactly how much time Nicole spends with her kids, you have no right to make a judgement on what “things” she needs to rethink. Then again, perhaps none of us have a right to comment on her parenting at all.

- finnaryn on November 15th, 2007

i’m not a fan of her as a woman, mother or actor. i think it’s sad for her kids that she isn’t around. but it really seems like katie is starting to fill a void they may feel. and that golden compass movie…don’t even get me started on how evil that is!!! what a strange choice of a fill for a mother to make.

- augustmoon6075 on November 15th, 2007

Acting is her career. She takes roles where she can get them. Would you tell a mother who had to put her children in daycare and work to make ends meet that she needed to rethink things?

- J on November 15th, 2007

OK, an ectopic IS a miscarriage by definition. It literally means you mis-carried the pregnancy. Why is she insinuating there is a difference? Does she mean to imply one is worse than the other? Both are lost pregnancies, with different causes. I’m really confused by the comment.

- Bobbi on November 15th, 2007

Have the kids always lived with Tom? I know they can make that choice now but when they divorced the children would have been 5 and 7 years old.

- A on November 15th, 2007

She is not the only one who makes a difference of an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage. Gillian Anderson last year told she experienced both. I think for these woman there are different psychological aspects.

I am not a fan of Nicole, but I wish people would stop asking her for new kids, new babies..

- nina on November 15th, 2007

So that Comment she made to people
about her marriage being the most important thing to her.

was that suppose to convince me that she take “responsiblity” for her kids seriously.

If angelina jolie had said her reletionship with brad pitt was the most important thing to her
there would be over 20 comments calling her a bad mother but nicole kidman and heidi klum can get away with it.

- Jan on November 15th, 2007

Who are they with when Tom is in Germany?

The fact that she doesn’t even own a home in LA, where her children want to stay is what I’m reactive too. That makes no sense.

Maybe if I read the entire article, it will become clearer.

- Ivey on November 15th, 2007

I totally agree with Finnaryn’s comment!

- Jo Ann v. on November 15th, 2007

You failed to mention it in this entry, but in the article it says that the kids spent the whole summer with her in Australia, so its not like she never sees her them.
As for the ectopic and miscarriage argument, think there can be a difference mentally. My mother had an ectopic pregnancy, but when when she took a pregnancy test, the + sign was very faint, so she knew there was something wrong with the pregnancy. But when she miscarried, it was different because she was pregnant with seemingly no problems and then miscarried suddenly. Its kind of hard to explain but the miscarriage was much harder for her than the ectopic. Does that make any sense?

- Tiff on November 15th, 2007

I believe in changing your lifestyle for your kids Nicole moved out of LA even when her kids prefer to live there. Slowly but surely, she is going to distance herself from them without intending it. She does even spend that much time with her husband now and she moves around more often. I find her interviews veiled digs at Cruise, why doesn’t she come out right an dsay what she wants to say?

- Clare on November 15th, 2007

Just a quick comment on the miscarriage re. ectopic comment, specifically in response to Tiff’s comment. I think that women with ectopic pregnancies often have tests that make it seem very much like they are progressing with a normal pregnancy (which is why these pregnancies can be so dangerous, because your tube can rupture without having any previous signs of something wrong). Having a faint plus sign on a pregnancy test does not mean that there is anything wrong with the pregnancy — it likely means that either you are testing very early in the pregnancy and/or your urine is diluted. I just wanted to put this out there so that people don’t worry about this. A faint test is a positive test, and the best thing you can do after taking a positive test is to book an appointment with your doctor.

- BostonMom on November 15th, 2007

Interesting..As someone who has had 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage I was more mentally and emotionally attached to the ectopics…because in my mind they were both living breathing babies who just formed in the wrong spot..With my second ectopic the baby actually had a heartbeat.
So I understand why people make a difference between the two..

- Robyn on November 15th, 2007

i always forget Nicole has kids! I guess that living so far away from your cildren when you area movie star is different then an average couple. Nicole or her kids could hop on a plane any time they wanted. The average person could never afford that.

I havent seen any pics of the kids recently with either Tom or Nicole.

- morgan on November 15th, 2007

I agree with Robyn. Sometimes with a miscarriage, there is a problem with the baby and you lose it. It’s tragic. With an ectopic, you have a perfectly healthy baby who happens to be in the wrong spot and you have to have surgery (usually) to remove and terminate this perfectly formed baby. Granted, I have never had a miscarriage, but I have had an ectopic and I still think about the fact that my baby’s heart was beating right up until it was surgically removed from my body.

(I’m not implying in any way that an ectopic pregnancy is worse than an miscarriage, but it is different and I think anyone who has had both would certainly differentiate. Whenever anyone referred to my “miscarriage” I corrected them.)

- Heather on November 15th, 2007

Medically speaking, I suppose ectopic and miscarriage are the same thing, however, personally…. I’ve been through an ectopic, and I’ve never once referred to it as a miscarriage. I was 10 weeks along before it was discovered. I guess for me I feel that a miscarriage is when the body naturally loses the baby, and not when medical intervention is necessary.

- Chelle on November 15th, 2007

I remember reading about that with Gillian Anderson, which was interesting because she is a very private person. I think she makes the distinction because after having Piper and then being contractually unallowed to have another child with The X-Files, she really wanted to have another baby and so both the miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy were hard on her, especially for someone who conceived so easily and without knowing it, the first time. I imagine both are traumatic but with ectopic, it isn’t a problem with the baby, just where it happened to attach. In Gillian’s case she went on to have baby Oscar although it was a scandal because she was still married to another man at the time when she conceived with the new man. I read her say that after suffering what she had, she can’t just then give that child up just because it was not conceived in the most perfect of circumstances.

I hope that Nicole is able to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery if that is what she wants.

- tdevol on November 15th, 2007

I’m thinking that with a miscarriage you don’t see it coming, so your going to question yourself as to why it happened.

With an ectopic you know that it has to be terminated, and correct me if I’m wrong but don’t you also lose the tube as well and therefore, you become half as successful at conceiving.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is they both sound horribly sad but I understand why people would speak about them in different terms. Even though the results are sadly the same.

- Ivey on November 15th, 2007

I understand Nicole’s children desire to live in LA but why move to Nashville with your husband or back to Australia. Now granted her kids did fly out to Australia but I’m sure it would be alot of easier if they could hop in a car and drive an hour or less to their mom’s house if she lived in LA.
I mean, if my ex and my children live in LA why would I choose to live anywhere else. Granted her work takes her all over the world but atleast when she isn’t working her kids could easily go back and forth between both households which would probably be beneficial.
Nicole should have gotten herself a home in LA a long time ago.

- Di on November 15th, 2007

I hate to harp on a point but there is the reality that her kids are indoctrinated into that cult and her husband has a whole bunch of allies who will do anythign to smear her.

However Nicole is such a BS-artist. “No plastic surgery” good lord her face is frozen like hell and her lips look odd.

Interesting comments she made abotu her kids being members of their dad’s cult.

- Voiceofreason on November 15th, 2007

I believe the children do a few months at a time w/ each parent. They have spent the last several months w/ NK, and we will rarely see a pic of them together, she is notoriously protective and private. Good luck getting a photo of them when they are w/ their mom. Also, I agree that technology has created a whole new way of living. My guess is that both sides of these childrens families stay extrememly connected to the kids, and each other.

- Campbell on November 16th, 2007

I have suffered from an ectopic and I also would never classify it as a miscarriage. To me they are totally different. Also, just to clarify, many women including myself did not lose a tube.

- Lacy on November 16th, 2007

An ectopic pregnancy is way more traumatic than a “simple” miscarriage. You can die of an ectopic pregnancy, it’s really sudden and if it’s not detected at once and operated, you risk a lot ! It happened to my sister and one of my friends, and if it had been detected 10 minutes later, they would have died, because of the internal hemorragia it provokes.
Also you suffer incredible pain.
Yeah, that makes quite a difference with a miscarriage…

- Blabla on January 31st, 2011