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Oct 11 2007 07:33 PM ET
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Alexis Stewart continuing with fertility treatment

Alexis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s 42 year old daughter, admits she continues to undergo fertility treatments even though her eggs are ‘dry and crusty.’

Alexis began treatment last year, and during an appearance on Tuesday’s Oprah Winfrey Show, acknowledged she spends $28,000 a month on the procedure. Although she suffered three failed embryo transfers, for the time being, she refuses to consider other options.

Last month, I had no eggs that were viable, so I’m sort of back to square one at the moment.

When I have to think about my other options, then I will do that. But at the moment, I can only think about this option.

Alexis, who hosts Whatever with Alexis & Jennifer on Sirius Satellite Radio, confessed to Oprah she often worries it’s too late to become a mother.

I was around 36 [when I decided I wanted a baby]…It wasn’t a good time. I forgot about it. Then about two years ago, I started to think about it again.

[We] get distracted because now we have jobs, and now we have other things to do. Medicine seems miraculous — you can do anything you want. Movie stars have babies late. It seems all possible, but you don’t hear the stories of the people who can’t have a baby.

Alexis claimed her mother wants grandchildren ‘desperately,’ often providing emotional and financial support to Alexis, who divorced husband John Cuti in 2004. Alexis said she’s ‘very lucky‘ to have Martha’s support.

She’s very supportive. She tells me it will happen all the time.

Alexis explained the procedure begins every month the day after she gets her period.

I go to the doctor and test my blood. They do an ultrasound. They look at my ovaries to make sure there are no cysts. They check the lining of my uterus, and then that night, I begin my medication.

The procedure has been difficult for Alexis. She’s forced to endure time-consuming, painful treatments, including twice-daily injections she gives herself every evening while undergoing the process.

Then, on about the 11th day, the doctor will say, ‘You’re ready. In two days we’re going to harvest your eggs.’

Twice, I’ve given myself shots on the street. I’m much more interested in taking my medication than in what anyone might think about me.

Alexis said she gets through it by looking at it as a ‘chore,’ not an optional procedure. Because of Alexis’ age, doctors implant sperm from the sperm bank directly into her eggs in a process called intracytoplasmic sperm injection.

They put the sperm in. They don’t just wait for it to fertilize. Because your egg is hard and old and crusty. It doesn’t want to make a baby.

Alexis said she doesn’t plan to stop the treatments any time soon.

I will [continue] until the doctor says, “Forget it."

Source: Oprah

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I wish her the best of luck, but it really bothers me that she won’t consider adoption right now. There is a big difference in wanting to be pregnant and wanting to be a parent, even though both outcomes are the same, some people just aren’t open minded enough I guess.

- snow on

I absolutely do not mean this as being critical of anything – but I can’t help but think about all the children who she could adopt and not have to go through this obviously traumatic treatment. I understand the desire to mother your own children. That’s a natural desire, and I wish Alexis the best. But I hope that, if the worst case is that IVF doesn’t work, she will consider adoption as another option.

- Cath on

Sorry to post this in this thread, but CBB you forgot to add comments to the Britney Spears story a few posts down (Judge refuses “emergency” adjustment in visitation schedule). You know your readers have comments on this, indulge us. ;)

- daphneesmith on

I think it’s incredibly brave that she came forward on Oprah. So many celebritites act like it’s no big deal to get pregnant past 40– when in fact, it’s NOT the norm and can entail very expensive fertility treatments- which are not always successful. I applaud her candor and wish other celebs would be that forthright.

I don’t think people should criticize her for wanting a biological child. It’s her choice, and natural to long for a biological child. Perhaps she will get to the point where she’ll be open to adoption, but for right now, this is her path. I think it’s great that she’s being so open and honest about it.

- Erika on

As someone who has struggled with infertility for the past 3 years, it makes me so upset to read comments made about how she should just consider adoption. Wanting to be pregnant and to give birth is something most women don’t think twice about, because it comes so naturally and easily to most. But it’s such a powerful desire, probably even more so when doctor’s tell you again and again that it could very well never happen for you. If adoption was for everyone, then every family, even those who can have biological children should adopt. Please stop the double standard, no one can judge until they have walked in the other person’s shoes.

That said, I think Alexis is extremely brave talking about all her struggles and I wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy and the strength to continue making her wish come true

- Valou on

I think it is great that she is being honest about her struggle, but I question if “hard, old, crusty eggs” are the best for making a child. Sometimes the body has a way of telling us that something isn’t meant to be and we need to look at other options. I agree with the other comments that there are many children who need good families. Then again, I don’t know how I would feel if I was in her shoes.

- mari on

I think it is very brave of her to come forward with this extremely important health issue. Emotionally and financially infertility can be devastating. Declining fertility after a certain age is an important message to get out. If you look at the average Hollywood actress you would think that it is easy to get pregnant at 40, 45 or even much later. Eating right and taking care of yourself is important, but fertility declines as you get older no matter how well you take care of yourself. Maybe fertility timing needs to be addressed at ob/gyn visits of women who would like to bear children someday. There is such a thing as too late.

- Loralee on

As a veteran infertile, I’m compelled to point out that “egg implantation” doesn’t make sense; y’all might want to reword that. First, they can only transfer the embryo; if they could “impant” it, you’d be pregnant. This distinction is a very big deal to many infertile women undergoing IVF. It’s also a big deal in the abortion debate. Second, I assume you mean “embryo” since eggs don’t implant.

Sarah’s note: I don’t know what Alyk meant, but I’d be happy to change the wording. :)

- Meredith on

Valou, not every women desire to give birth.That’s a bad myth that needs to be changed. Some women live great lives without ever being pregnant or having a child. The reason so many people suggest adoption is because instead of putting her body through so much stress, giving a home to child without a home sounds like a good idea. A lot of people would adopt but don’t have the money to do it…she does. Also, at this point, I would think if she hasn’t gotten pregnant…maybe it’s a sign that she isn’t meant to have biological kids.

- Renee on

I just watched a show on discovery health about IVF. It followed 3 women. I was in tears. I really admire those women who put them selves through so much. Ive had 2 cousins go thru it and its not easy. Its excessively expensive and takes a told on your body and emotional health. good luck Alexis!

- morgan on

It’s really easy for someone on the outside of this kind of situation to say “she should just adopt” – but I’m sure it’s much different living it from the inside. It’s not always that easy to just jump straight from failed fertility treatments to adopting instantly. There is a grieving process that a lot of people have to go through before they’re ready to even consider adoption (this is something that adoption agency’s are often on high alert for, people who haven’t had a chance yet to deal with their grief before moving to the next step). And for some people they just won’t ever want to adopt – and that’s okay to. Everyone has a right to their feelings about how they want to form a family. As far as I’m concerned there is no right or wrong way to approach infertility, there is only what works best for each individual person. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but only if it’s something that a person wants and feels comfortable doing. It’s not something that should be imposed upon someone – it’s also not something that a person should be guilted or shamed into doing.

Valou: Great post. I’ve often given the same example you provided in your post (about those who can have biological children also adopting) when people try to hold infertile people to different standards than the rest of us. It’s really unfair that those who can conceive easily are given the freedom to have children however they see fit without criticism, but people who struggle to get pregnant are given lectures, insults and guilt trips about how they “should” adopt.

- Kate2 on

I applaud Alexis for going on the Oprah show and sharing her struggle with Oprah. It seems to me though, that Alexis wants to give her mother grandchildren, but nowhere did she say that she can’t wait to become a mommy. It seems as though she is trying to prove to her mother and the world that she can become pregnant.
When my husband and I were considering becoming parents, the thought of infertility never crossed our minds. Then again, the thought of me becoming pregnant never did either. We chose to adopt without ever trying to have biological children. I really don’t know if I can have biological children.
Alexis apparently has a very strong desire to have biological children. If she is so desperate to become a mother at this late age, and her treatments are failing, I questions why she wouldn’t even CONSIDER adoption. Adoption is a wonderful, amazing way to create a family of YOUR OWN. My children are very much my own and not a day has gone by where I have questioned “am I really their mother?”. I know 100% that I am my children’s mother.
At $28,000 per month, she could do a private adoption every month! She could adopt from overseas every month or 2! Think of all the children she could me a mother to by now.
That being said, I do hope she fulfills her desires to have a child in whatever way it ends up happening. I hope she isn’t another woman that struggles to have a child, then hires 3 full time nannies.

- Colleen on

I couldn’t help but notice how clinical she was in describing her routine of injections.

I also was struck how she mentioned she is forking out $28K per month in treatment. I don’t know any RE in my part of the country who charges that for a woman using her own eggs. Should a couple/singleton decide to use donor egg, it still isn’t that much unless the client is getting robbed on the fees paid to the donor. Unless Alexis is shooting up enormous amounts of FSH (10+ vials/day), I am at a loss to understand why she is paying so much, month after month.

I also don’t believe a reputable RE would allow her to have eggs retrieved month after month. That is news to me.

That being said, it isn’t easy letting go the idea of having a biological link to one’s offspring. Unless one is on the receiving end of such bad news, one can only speculate how that would feel. I can tell you it is heart crushing and devastating

Adoption takes a mighty brave mindset and a resilient personality to take such a momentous leap of faith.

It isn’t the answer for everyone.

And, it is certain not for wusses. ;)

- Principesa on

I was scared to click comments on this one, but was pleasantly surprised by the mature comments! As a mother of two who fortunately came easy, I can only imagine what Alexis is going through and can understand her desire. She has the means to do fertility treatments for as long as she needs to, so why not? Anyone else would do the same. To be a frank (and that is exactly what she is) about the reality of infertility after 40 is what people need to hear, not that “bam, we got pregnant with twins!” and not give the whole story.

- Kristin on

I haven’t had fertility treatment but having numerous friends who have, can I point out that she didn’t have eggs implanted but transferred. There is a major major difference, one which means a pregnancy or not. I know people not knowing the difference bugs the hell out of my friends.
I wish her and anyone undergoing treatment all the very best. I cannot even begin to imagine how emotional the journey must be.
Rxxxxxxxx

- Rosie on

While I comment her honesty, I have experience of infertility myself AND work with families strugglin with fertility. My honest opinion and where I always ask people to begin is this:
What is the outcome you want from this treatment?

Do you know what 99.9% of people say?
To be a mother….

Well, if you want to be a mother, this is not the only way, there are so many ways to fulfill the dream of motherhood. I do think it is very hard for some people to give up on the romanticization of pregnancy, childbirth etc. We are conditioned from infancy as women to think you grow up, meet someone and experience pregnancy etc. But sometimes you have to wonder at what cost? In all my years in my job, I have NEVER seen a family look at their child who came to their family through adoption and say “if only I had given birth to her”….NEVER! So, my wish is that people deal with this pain and look at the future. This is very hard to do and often takes counselling support, time spent with adoptive families etc, but the joy when you travel half way around the world to meet a child that somehow you, a mother with no children and there a child with no mother, have been matched with? Well it is simply miraculous!

- lola on

I commented earlier about “implanting eggs.” I now see out in infertility blogland that that was Alexis’ own term. Well, it’s still, wrong. But I guess I shouldn’t be correcting y’all.

Anyway, I feel bad for poor Alexis. IVF and infertility are really, really hard and it doesn’t make them any easier when there are people out there questioning why you don’t “just adopt” as though that’s the easiest, most obvious decision in the world. (And it is, by the way, a decision that I made and that brought be great peace and joy. But I still am bothered by the cavalier attitude towards what is another difficult journey all on its own.)

- Meredith on

I agree with Loralee. Women are getting the message right now that they’re going to have no problem getting pregnant at 40 or later. I don’t begrudge celebrities who conceive at that age their babies of course, but I don’t doubt they’re getting help and they have the money to do that, whereas most normal people wouldn’t. I have several friends who are getting to that age who haven’t had babies yet because they wanted to focus on their careers, and they can’t understand why they’re having such a hard time getting pregnant. It kind of boggles my mind that very highly educated women are surprised that their fertility declines so much by age 40.

As far as the comments about adoption vs. trying so hard to have a biological child – yes, there are a lot of children in the world who need loving parents. But it’s hard for most people who want children to get around that very strong desire to have biological children. Wanting to have a full pregnancy and birth experience is a powerful thing. If Alexis ends up deciding to adopt, good for her and I’m sure she’d love that child(ren) enormously. However, right now she’s still holding on to the hope that she can have her own child and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

- Alice_R on

Valou – I totally agree with you! I decided to use artificial insemination from an anonymous donor when I wanted to get pregnant. I didn’t have a man in my my life, and I was tired of waiting for Mr. Right while I wasn’t getting any younger. Yes, I briefly considered adoption, and I have absolutely NOTHING against it, but besides the obvious cost concerns, what I ultimately wanted more than anything else was to be pregnant and to have my baby that way. I was lucky, it did work, and I have a beautiful baby girl. Had it not worked, I would have tried IVF. I know there are millions of babies waiting to be adopted, but darn it I WANTED TO BE PREGNANT, and I certainly have that right just like other people have the right to chose adoption. She has the money, I say go for it, and I wish her nothing but the best and I hope she gets pregnant soon!

- Maria on

I applaud Alexis for being so open about such a difficult process. Infertility treatment is an emotionally wrenching, arduous process, every time insemination or IVF doesn’t work you are back to square one yet you always have some amount of hope that it will work. Adoption, a wonderful option for many couples, is a different decision all together and should not be in the same conversation as fertility treatment. I got the impression that she would be open to other options once she has explored all her current treatment options.
As many others have said, you have to be in her shoes to fully understand. Too many of us are in her shoes and it sucks.

- Susan on

Is adoption really that easy? I’ve ready plenty of articles written by adoptive parents and it seems like it has it’s ups and downs just like anything else. Also, a family needs to feel adoption will work for them. Some people just don’t feel that way and that’s their right. If I had not been able to have children (I have 2) I’m not sure I would have gone through fertility myself but I don’t know weather or not I would have adopted either. Unless I was in the situation and feeling the emotions I don’t know what choices I would make. I wish her luck, whatever the outcome. I think it is good that she is talking about her struggles as others have commented.

Valou, I wish you luck too.

- Kris on

Just as a point of clarification, the doctor *transfers embryos*, they don’t “implant eggs”. They also *inject* the sperm into the egg during ICSI, it’s not implanted. I think maybe the implantation phrase was used on the show, but that kind of misuse of the terminology is one of my personal pet peeves.

- Mary Ann on

I agree with Valou. I struggled with infertiliity treatments for nine months before we were able to conceive. Those were the hardest nine months of my life, because I wanted so badly to be pregnant and give life to my own child, and I was so afraid that it wasn’t going to happen for me, and I’d have been totally crushed. I can only imagine how someone who struggles for years with infertility and its uncertainties feels. The desire to have a baby is very strong, and Alexis is following her desire to its end.

Adoption is fine and wonderful, but it’s not for everyone, at any time. A woman has to be confident in her decision to pursue adoption, knowing that she did indeed try everything that was appropriate for her while trying to conceive her own child. I would have adopted a child if I were unable to get pregnant, but I don’t know when that time would have been, how far I would have gone with the treatments, etc. It’s a very personal decision.

I applaud Alexis for following her dream. It’s a very sweet dream indeed.

- Mimi on

Keep in mind that there is a strong possibility that Alexis CANNOT ADOPT!

She is a single, divorced woman in her 40′s. That alone would bar her from some agencies, who require that their hopeful adoptive parents be married, and at least one, but preferably both, of the parents be under the age of 40.

Some adoption agencies have restrictions on divorced people, such as only accepting couples in which only one of them, but not both, have had a prior divorce. (and first-time marrieds in their mid-to-late 40′s and 50′s is kind of rare)

Further, many agencies that do permit singles or people over the age of 40 to adopt only permit them to adopt older children, not infants or toddlers.

In addition to that, most adoption agencies have restrictions on prospective parents/couples based on their health history – which now includes having ever been treated for depression by counseling or anti-depressants (including post-partum depression), and/or other mental health issues such as eating disorders – in addition to physical health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

(Sidenote: I do find it sad that a woman who seeks treatment for post-partum depression stands the chance of being barred from adopting in the future, regardless of how long it’s been)

Aside from her age and marital status, there may be a mental or physical health concern that does not make Alexis an ideal candidate for adoption.

Sometimes people pursue fertility treatments b/c they know that adoptions agencies will not consider them.

Adoption isn’t “easy”, not by a long stretch.

- corinne on

Alexis probably opened herself up to the age related criticism by saying her eggs were old and crusty but her point is excellent – a woman’s fertility does not last forever. A woman’s fertility and egg quality starts to decline in her late 20′s. But it’s grossly unfair for anyone to judge her and say that she shouldn’t dare trying because she’s 42 and she should “just adopt.” Just because pregnancy doesn’t come easily doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be. I know. I started trying to get pregnant when I was 35 and it took 3 years, IVF, and finally donor eggs but I now have a wonderful baby girl. Building your family should be about what’s right for you – adoption, fertility treatments, whatever.

- Suzanne on

There’s no such thing as “just adopting.” It’s a long, expensive, sometimes heartbreaking process, with no real guarantee of a baby or child at the end of it.
Kudos to Alexis for speaking out on the topic. Oprah has had shows on infertility before that were just DREADFUL – inaccurate information, reported in a breathless, tabloid style that was terribly unsympathetic to women and men going through the process.

- beatrice on

I have a new question to ponder, if her eggs are as she says “dry and crusty” what are the chances she will actually be able to conceive a child let alone one that is HEALTHY? And than what will she do? What will she do if her child is less than “Martha – Stewart -perfect”? Just wondering.

- snow on

As a woman who has also been struggling with infertility, I have to agree with Snow’s comment. My husband and I would love a biological child but options like donor egg, sperm, surrogacy and adoption are not out of the question. The more important issue to us is just to become parents, it doesn’t matter how. I realize it’s a personal choice, but if we had $28,000 a month at our disposal, we would have adopted a long time ago. Becoming parents in a way other than a pregnancy with our biological child would not make us any less of parents or that child any less than ours. I wouldn’t sacrifice my chance at motherhood because I refuse to consider other options. But, to each her own.

- Jackie on

I don’t think that Alexis said she would NEVER adopt, she simply said that, right now, she’s focusing on getting pregnant. She also said that she’ll consider other options when her doctor tells her it’s time to quit trying. She’ll always have time to adopt if she doesn’t get her wish of being pregnant and there is nothing wrong in wanting to be pregnant.

- millie on

I have no problem with Alexis trying to get pregnan at 42, but I agree with the posters who say there is a good chance she may not have a healthy baby with her own eggs — and who knows if she will even stay pregnant after she gets pregnant?

At a certain point, she should start thinking about the potential baby’s health and her own IMO. A baby made from “old crusty eggs” could very well have many health issues that she may not be prepared to deal with.

I can certainly understand the desire to be pregnant and have a biological baby, but maybe she should consider what the excessive fertility drugs are doing to her health. She could end up with cancer if she does them for a really long time! I really hope she considers donor eggs soon. She is still young enough that she probably has a good shot at getting and staying pregnant with a healthy young egg. She will still have a strong tie to the baby if she carries and gives birth to it herself. I just cannot imagine risking the disappointment of a miscarriage or unhealthy baby after all that time, money and energy.

- PSB on

Wow! I wish her the best of luck. I cannot imagine how emotionally draining this must be for her. I really got a better understanding of how age plays such a significant part in conceiving children when Nicole Richie became pregnant. I mean, she weighed 90 pounds at one point and was still able to get pregnant because she’s in her twenties.

- Itsme on

I totally agree with Valou and Corrine. Corrine especially raised some valid points that many people here haven’t considered.

Adoption isn’t necessarily the easy fix that some people think it is. There’s a huge psychological component involved as well. I can’t imagine what I’d feel like if I was facing infertility because ever since I was a little girl, I’ve imagined being pregnant and giving birth to my own child. Yes, I want to be a mother and that’s the ultimate goal, but when you have such strong feelings about having a biological child, how do you explain that or put it into words for other people? You can’t. It’s also not politically correct these days to say you want to have your own child rather than adopt (which is ridiculous). Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and beliefs whether you think they’re right or wrong. If I’m faced with infertility someday and can’t conceive, I don’t know if I’ll adopt. It would probably take me a very long time to get used to that idea (it also doesn’t help that I’ve known people who have had bad experiences with adoption). No one has the right to judge Alexis or what she’s doing.

- Ash on

Corinne- have you ever adopted or looked into adoption? There are many many routes to take when it comes to adoption. All the selection criteria you mention are on the extreme end. Some countries do have rules like the ones you stated, as do some private agencies in the US. There are also- foster adopt and social services adoptions which can be very low cost.
I believe that a lot of people don’t adopt because they are afraid they won’t get a perfect child, not because of agency restrictions.

- To Corinne on

Kate2, wonderful post. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

- pmfrances on

I struggled with infertility for 6 years. I started trying when I was 31. I did 6 IVF attempts (paid by insurance) and never did get pregnant. It was an emotionally draining experience. I honestly don’t think anyone could understand it until they are in that situation. And doctors WILL offer hope to woman like me – because there always is a “chance”.
I think Alexis was very brave to come on TV to talk about it. It is a very hard thing to discuss and keep in mind we have NO IDEA what options she has considered, etc. We only saw a very small part of her life.
And those with the “just adopt” philosophy, well that is just not fair. I think others have already addressed this and have gotten the point across.

- Violet on

Everybody is talking about what “I” want… I, I, I … I want to be pregnant… I … I want this because I want it… well, sometimes what I want is just not what God wants for me.. did anyone ever consider that God didn’t plan for every woman to give birth? In this country we have been told that we are just entitled to have whatever we want… well, sometimes we don’t get what we want.. if we could turn it around and say ” God, if it is your will that I am to get pregnant, then I will get pregnant” and then give yourself a time line but if it doesn’t happen, ask yourself what is God saying to you? Has anyone ever thought that God calls some of us to adopt for a reason? Who will love the millions of waiting babies and children? I’m not saying don’t try to get pregnant but the whole attitude that you are entitled to a pregnancy is just plain wrong.. but I guess that is just the society we live in, I want it and so I will have it, we don’t put God and his will for us first, we just say ” this is what I want” very sad.

- Meggie on

Like Ash, I know several people who had horrible experiences with adoption. It’s a very risky proposition.

- madam pince on

I agree with Valou. Obviously, not every woman desires to give birth, but Alexis desires to become pregnant. It’s her life and her decision. We don’t know what she’s considering or how her mind might change, but it’s still her decision, not ours.

- terri on

I’m sorry but just because some of us suggest adoption doesn’t make us bad people and we are being fair. We are just suggesting more options.I understand the strong desire some women have to give birth to their children but I’m also looking at some good options.Sure there are bad adoption stories…but there are also bad birth stories but I don’t see people talking about that.

- Renee on

“To Corinne” – in response to the post addressed to me. Yes, we did adopt. :)

- corinne on

I wonder why she doesnt concider adopting an american baby from a pregnant woman who doesnt want the child..like cherryl crow did with her babyson wyatt. That way she will follow the other womans pregnancy, be there at birth and take home a tiny newborn baby.. At least then she gets to bond with the child from the early begining and it will be the next best thing to having your own biological child. And since the child will be white noone needs to know how she got her baby.

- Tanya on

Wow, the expense of IVF and fertility treatments is mind-blowing to me!!! I feel extremely fortunate that I have had four babies —easily conceived and healthy, at age 35+. If I had not conceived naturally–I wouldn’t be a Mom.

- Aitch on

I find it very difficult to be told by women that have already had their children that I’m too old to have kids (I’m not even 40 yet)and that I shouldn’t have treatment to help me conceive.
It seems as if there is some kind of group of the “mommy mafia” that believe that one is a lesser mother if one has had to have assistance in conceiving (I don’t mean any one who has commented here).
Women through history have had a much longer fertile period & produced children for 20 years; older pregnancies are nothing new.
Assisted fertility is.
I’m glad that Alexis chose to speak out on this subject; what she didn’t appear to say was that at her age her chances of conceiving is 20-25% each time (i.e. it’s not accumulative; the more you try; it’s 20% each time!), and to keep going as a single woman, wow that must be very hard.

Also, I wanted to mention that it came across (to me) that “there’s always adoption” – as a 2nd best. I’m sure that any parents of adopted children (whether they have biological children as well or not) will *ever* see their children as second best.

I am at the stage behind Alexis in treatment, and its still hard, each month when your period arrives, the disappointment, the grief, sometimes the frustration, but we keep going…. For me at the moment, I’d love to experience pregnancy & this is why I submit myself to this process; Yes, I’d consider adoption, but where I live its not really an option (I’m outside the USA).

I hope that more famous women who had assisted conception talk about it more, as there is still a lot of stigma attached. That this is “against nature”.

We would all be a little more considered if we could walk a mile in each other’s shoes.

- Sara on

I really feel for Alexis, but I do think some of the posters are correct in their comments regarding the health of her 42-year-old eggs. Sometimes nature has a reason for us to not get pregnant. Also…and I don’t mean this to sound harsh…but at what point does desiring pregnancy cross the line into the territory of unhealthy obsession?

My husband is adopted, and I find adoption to be a wonderful thing, but I also agree that many women have a deep need to experience pregnancy and birth. “Just adopting” is not only not always emotionally easy to accept, it also makes light of the complicated road that adoptive parents must take.

I think every woman has a different need with regard to children. I know many women who would rather die than have a child (biologically OR through adoption!)…some women would never adopt because they want to be pregnant so bad, and others can see themselves doing one or the other. I don’t think we can judge them, just be honest with ourselves that there are so many feelings associated with this issue!

- trixie on

I saw the Oprah show, and wow, it was intense! Alexis is incredibly strong for going through all this. Sadly she waited so long all her efforts may be for naught, and yes, like some posters mentioned she could end up with cancer as a lot of fertility drugs have tentatively been linked to cancer (much like HRT was). I also agree with the posters that said if women celebrities would be more upfront about getting pregnant after age 40 then maybe people would have realistic ideas about whether to wait to get pregnant. In any case, I wish Alexis much luck and positive thoughts.

- DL on

I think it was very brave to get so personal on Opera.. ANd those who say adopt must not have been on this side of the fence. I am currently undergoing injections with IUI after the loss of my baby at 17 weeks into the pregnancy.

Yes I could give up and adopt But for some people that may not be the right option for them without pursuing all the other avenues available to them. I am very lucky the treatments have worked 3 times for me.

As I said though the last ended in the loss of a little boy. But I am determined to carry my own biological baby to term.

I personally hate when people who have never gone through this look at me judgmentally and tell me what they think is right for me.
I always say it must be nice sitting on the other side of the fence and not having to battle it. Then looking at me and being so opinionated. If it bothers you that she is not willing to adopt.. and all these children need so many homes in the world.. then put your money where your mouth is and go offer some homes yourself.

I want to add that I think adoption is a wonderful option also that I would not be 100% opposed to if all of this does not work. I commend people who bring these little lives into your home and your hearts.

But please refrain from dictating what is right for each individual person. Some people just yearn to feel life grow within their own bodies. And having been there I would not give up a moment of it. There is no pricetag not worth that beautiful experience.

Proud Mom Of 3

Terralynn

- terralynn verge on

It sounds to me like Alexis has PCOS which is what I have
When she verified they were checking for cysts on her ovaries..

I just want to clarify that this doesnt just happen to 40 year olds

I had assistance with my first child when I was 24 for 3 years because of the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom I have been born with this..And there is a link that it is hereditary.

As for the cancer link that is complete misinformation
I go to an infertility clinic and every RE I have discussed this with have said there are no long term risks to these drugs.
I have also done research on it as I am taking them as well.

It is likely she to was born with it and just didnt try before to find that out. There are many many woman battling infertility in their 20s as well as their 40s

I just think the stigma should not just be related to age..I know it doesnt help your chances of conceiving

There are Young woman struggling too
Take a walk through any infertility clinic and you’ll see they come from all ages stages and walks of life..
Just not much of it is talked about

Terralynn

- terralynn on

The people who are saying why doesn’t she just adopt are not thinking about the obvious reason. The only reason that her mom would consider her children to be a feather in her cap would be the genetic link. She obviously doesn’t just want to mother some random children, she wants an heir to the Martha Stewart megalegend.

- Carol Morgan on

Alexis Gilbert “Lexi” Stewart (born September 27, 1965) is best known as Martha Stewart’s daughter.
================================
Bob
Drug Rehab

- bob2008 on

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- patric on

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