Update: Giveaway: I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids

Update: The winners are Zehava, Rachel, and Mollie.

"I don’t know how she does it" is an oft-heard refrain about mothers today. Most moms agree—they have no idea how they get it done, and whether they even want the job. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile spoke to mothers of every stripe—working, stay-at-home, part-time—and found a surprising trend in their interviews.

After enthusing about her lucky life for twenty-two minutes, a mother would break down and admit her child’s first word was “Shrek.” As one mom put it, “Am I happy? The word that describes me best is challenged.” Fresh from the front lines of modern motherhood comes a book that uncovers the guilty secrets of moms today. I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids diagnoses the craziness and offers real solutions, so that mothers can step out of the madness and learn to love motherhood as much as they love their kids.   

Win one of three copies of I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids.  Just post a comment with the answer to this question, "How do YOU do it?  How do you manage to get through the day?" (Giveaway closes September 10 at 9 am EST.)

PLUS Exclusively for Celebrity Baby Blog Readers: Enter promo code Suri to receive 30% off and free shipping on your entire order at ChronicleBooks.com.  Offer expires 11/30/07.  (Hint: It’s not too early to start your holiday shopping.  I recently received a bunch of their great kids books like  the Little Spider Finger Book, Vegetables (a board book), and Who Loves You, Baby?)

Comments

My husband asks me that question every week. We have 4 girls. They’re ages are 7, 6, 2, and 1. It is a lot of work because I like everything and everybody to be very clean. The way I get everything done is to think that the end of the day is coming soon and I will have my time to myself. Also my husband finishes up anything I was too tired to do.

- jen on September 5th, 2007

I look forward to nap times! Even if they don’t happen, I have to keep that in my head that it’s nap time and the kids are in their rooms so I can breathe! Then after naptime, it’s only another couple of (long) hours till my hubby gets home!
That and I always try to have a plan for the day whether it’s the park or a walk or whatever gets me out for some fresh air too!

- mommy2bof2 on September 5th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”

I manage to get through the day by getting my three off to school and lots of forgiveness. Forgiving myself for getting frustrated with so much to do and so little time to do it all in, forgiving myself for beating myself up if the kids don’t look exactly the way I want them to and just trying to be the best mother I can possibly be. I used to beat myself up becuase I thought I should be able to do it all perfectly BUT with three little ones there is just no way I can without being a stress case, I had to surrender to my thoughts of perfection. I also pray for lots of patience and number one is remembering to exercise…that really helps with stress release. Occasionally a glass of wine helps in that department as well

- Eve on September 5th, 2007

I have two babies under 2 and I am a stay at home mom. I just pretend that I get paid a hefty salary when I have a rough day. I mentally rack up how much money I would be making if say I was a celebrity nanny and then when I put them to bed I pretend shop on the internet with all my loot. It really is a stress reliever and I ocassionally do actually buy myself something.

- Mollie on September 5th, 2007

i get through the day by just getting from bfast to lunch, lunch to snack time, snack time to hubby coming home, to supper, to bedtime! i try to stop and play w/ the kids and enjoy all the time i get w/ them!! i try not to make to big a deal about the small stuff as long as they r safe and having fun i dont gripe at them to much, and thats really hard for me to do as a neat freak!!

- angie on September 5th, 2007

I’m a full-time mom, full-time student and work part-time. The only way I do it is by taking it little by little. Literally. If I think about the whole week, or even the entire day, I can’t stand it. So, I just try to get through each hour. When that one is done, I move on to the next. I wouldn’t trade my daughter for anything, but I would give almost anything for more sleep!

- Lyn on September 5th, 2007

How do I manage it?

I am a working mommy and am often drained at the end of the day. However, I manage it by trying to do something fun everyday with my girls (3 and 1). It might mean we make cookies after dinner, draw a picture or take a walk outside. It reminds me to not take things so seriously. It also gives me a lasting picture of my girls’ smiles.

- Rebecca on September 5th, 2007

Some days, I honestly don’t know HOW I do it. Some days I can barely get through. As much as I LOVE my child to death being a full time, stay at home Mom is challenging. I have learned to roll with the punches to the best of my ability, and I have learned that even when it is frustrating I am not alone. I have a small network of other new Moms who feel the same way I do and we talk throughout the week just to get our emotions out on the table.

In 9 short months I have gone from crazy, uptight Mom to laid back Mom. This Motherhood thing is about trial and error – and believe me, I’ve been trying it all! I still have so much to learn but watching him grow before my very eyes is worth every frustration, every tear and every experience we share.

- Leah on September 5th, 2007

I’m a SAHM and it is hard work even though people think I’m on a vacation 24/7. Naps are the only thing that gets me thru the day. I know my daughter is going to nap at a certain time and during that nap is the only me time I get.

- autumn on September 5th, 2007

Since my husband works all the time, I am pretty much a single mom and I also work full time. Even though I love my 2 year old to pieces, I can honestly say that some days are better than others!!
So a few months ago, as I went to visit my college friend in California for a week-end, I have decided to make it a tradition and to leave my son at home with his daddy a few week-ends a year so they can have quality time and I can enjoy my FREEDOM!!
The thought of the coming girls’ week-end really keeps me going

- Maud on September 5th, 2007

I try to not be a big stressball. It’s hard right now…I have a six year old girl, three year old girl, and I am 35 weeks plus pregnant with my first boy. I am soooo tired, and just totally frazzled. Thank GOD my oldest starts first grade tomorrow. It will be soooo much easier. I work about 25 hours a week and also am still in school, so it’s hard. I try to never compare myself to other moms (particularly my own, who is like a wayyy better version of Martha Stewart), and it really helps me to not sweat the small stuff. I don’t let myself get caught in that mom-trap where everything my child does defines my own self-worth, or inflates or deflates my ego. I try to concentrate on helping them to make good choices, helping them to be compassionate human beings, and try to not let them blow up the house.
I once asked my friend Trina who had three babies in a year (her first was born in March and the following February she had twins) how she made it through the day. She said “Prozac!”–and she was totally serious. I often think of that, and it makes me feel like I don’t have it so bad, even on the days where I’m ready to throw myself from a bridge . I’m lucky to have healthy happy kids, even if they DO occasionally make me bonkers!

- Aaron on September 5th, 2007

I work 3 days a week…that is my saving grace. The time I spend with my 2 daughters (2 yrs & 5 months) is more calculated and special. I pretend that I have 2 jobs…3 days a week I am an HR Manager and 2 days a week I am an AWESOME mommy. That and Starbucks run are how I do it!!

- Rebecca McBride on September 5th, 2007

Coffee in the morning and Elmo’s World! But seriously, breaking the day into smaller “chunks,” in which I tell myself “only two more hours until naptime!” or “after bathtime it’s bedtime!” works well. I also do the opposite of what I did before I had kids…I don’t try to get all my errands done at once. Now I’ll do one in the morning, one before naptime, one after naptime…just so we always have an reason to get out of the house.

- Beckie on September 5th, 2007

I have no idea how I do it. I manage to work a full-time job and bring my 15 mos old with me. The only way I can make it through the day is to take a break. Wether it be nap time or by handing her over as soon as my husband walks through the door. I have to have a break at some point throughout the day. Somedays I hand her to my husband as soon as he walks in and I head off to go shopping.

- Mandy on September 5th, 2007

How I get it Done? I am lucky enough to have my mother and sister help me out even though its really hard asking for the help because i want to be superwoman, I go to college fulltime, and im a single mom so when i know im in need for an s.o.s i can depend on my mom.

- Leticia on September 5th, 2007

How do I do it? Frankly, I’m still trying to figure out how I do it everyday. I am a SAHM of a energetic 1 year old boy and he keeps me so busy some days I barely breath. The support of my husband has been critical. However, every day is still a learning experience.

- Coco on September 5th, 2007

I think of my own mom who had six kids and did a great job!!!

- Beach Boy's Mom on September 5th, 2007

I remind myself daily: I am not perfect and I am not expected to be perfect.

When my daughter has a soccer game, I always remind her to do her best, which is all I can ask of her, and most important of all: HAVE FUN! We should all remember to have fun in what we do.

- Jennifer on September 5th, 2007

Lots o’ Coffee used to be my answer… Now, I’m pregnant and I rely on Charlie and Lola. Kidding. {well kinda}

I’m an at home mom.. work from home part time in the social work field.. and run a wee little business of handmade & artful stuffs in whatever time is left over. I’ve let go of my absolute drive for perfectionism. I include my child in whatever tasks I can. And, I cut myself some slack when I feel out of control. I have to compartmentalize the day so that we have achievable goals addressing both our daily needs: (i.e. breakfast, go to childrens zoo, home for chores & lunch, off to story hour at library, Home for NAP – and I work), etc. I make time for creativity, as those outlets are what keeps me sane.

- stacy on September 5th, 2007

I work and have a one year old so sometimes I feel like I am running a race. While my daughter is up I dont try to do any major cleanup jobs. I wait until she is asleep to get my work done. It goes so much faster and more efficiently then.

- rachel on September 5th, 2007

I don’t do it well. That’s for sure. With 3 kids and the youngest 5 months, I can’t remember what IT is that I’m supposed to do.

- Brooke on September 5th, 2007

Prayer and junk food and my computer can help me get through the day.

- Stacie on September 5th, 2007

I’m a SAHM. I wake up extra early in the morning so I can exercise, shower, and get ready for the day. I know it’s hard but it’s helping me keep my sanity. By the time my little one wakes up, I’m clean and ready to face whoever knocks on my door! I spend a lot of one-on-one time with my son everytime he’s awake. There are times when he wants to be left alone so I usually will sit a few feet away from him and read a book or magazine. When he naps, take care of things that need to be done that I can’t do when he’s awake. Other than that, I just let things slide. Cluttered house — doesn’t bother me! My little boy and I strive on routines. Once a day we go out (errands or mommy and me classes or storytime at the library). We read a lot. We sing and dance all the time. DS is a little over a year old and I’ve never had the need to sit him or us down infront of the TV. I’m trying to keep him away from that for as long as I can. When things go a bit crazy when it comes to mealtime, I sigh, get frustrated, clean him up, put him down for a nap whenever he’s ready, and then I cry!!!!!

- Christine on September 5th, 2007

My husband and I are both taking classes and working with a nearly two-year old. Here’s how we do it:

Our classes and work schedules go opposite of each other so we never have to use daycare (stretching from 4am to 1am the next day, between the two of us). I have a number of “staple foods” that are quick and easy to make. I keep a pack of diaper wipes and diapers under the stroller at all times in case of “emergency” diaper-changes. All of our clothes are set out the night before so we never have to wonder where the socks or the shoes are while we’re rushing during the mornings. I make a batch of muffins or breakfast burritos on Sundays for us to just microwave and grab on our way out the door. We try to pick up what we can as we go, which DD destroys as soon as we are done, so we end up cleaning on Saturdays when the grandparents have the baby.

And our #1 secret: ELMO!! If it weren’t for Elmo, I would never be able to make dinner or lunch or get any homework done. Sure I feel like not the greatest mother…but, hey, it taught her how to count to ten!!

- Karen on September 5th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”

i picture my daughter’s smile and it reminds me why i do all i do. that, and i remember the “me-time” i’ll get after bedtime!

- meg on September 5th, 2007

Whew! That’s tough, because honestly, I don’t know HOW I get through the day. Though I just have my (almost) 2 y.o. angel, it’s still such a challenge to deal with all the different changes. You want to embrace and encourage so many things, while at the same time, remain consistent and often times use discipline. It feels like I’m always walking a fine line, and it’s very emotionally draining, especially now that the “switch” has been “flipped” and she has entered the “terrible twos”…it’s times like these that I am SO thankful for my happy pills, ice cream, and of course, my sweet husband.

- Dana on September 5th, 2007

How do I get it done?

by remembering that my children love me, unconditionaly. even if i am giving them pb and j for dinner for the 3rd night in a row(well the three year old, the 4 month old is still on a liquid diet) after putting in 8 hours of *paying* work. mommy made it and we all know mommy’s do everything better!

- lisa on September 5th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?

Weeelllll, sometimes you just have to have a breakdown. Yep, a real life crazy lady breakdown. My husband usually looks at me like “Is this really my wife?” and then when the release is over, I’m back to normal. It happens to everyone once in a while, wether they admit it or not. At least I’m honest.

- Dana Sorensen on September 5th, 2007

This website…no joke. This is my 5 minutes a day-give baby to dad-no one talk to me time. That and knowing that one day it will be over and my baby will be grown-up!

- Kayli on September 5th, 2007

How do I do it?

Well, to be honest, it’s knowing that whatever and however they turn out to be, I’m responsible for a good chunk of it. It’s an awesome realization to know that you are responsible for turning these tiny babies that are born into the world so new and clean into successful adults.

That, and hugs, kisses, and being told I’m the most beautiful wonderful mom on earth… when I’m covered in sweat, overweight, and feel anything but that.

- Kat on September 5th, 2007

I sleep when the baby sleeps.

- winkster on September 5th, 2007

I take a break every once in awhile, the only way to stay sane. I also have a wonderful husband.

- Colleen on September 5th, 2007

I have three kids, ages 6, 3 and 5 months, I work part time, I also am room mom for both my 3 and 6 year old’s class as well as PTO Chairperson for my 3 year olds school – add to that the perpetual chaos of raising three kids, lots of activities, etc. and you have one busy Mama! I just try to do the best I can, take it one day at a time, one minute some days and most of all – go with the flow. Life does not work out the way I plan, so I have learned to go with what works and everyone is happy. Somehow, some way it all the jobs get done and everyone ends up at the end of the day smiing and content – that is what matters!

- Kimberly Russo on September 5th, 2007

I don’t! Seriously. There is some point, nearly every day, where I just dump out a bunch of toys and crash on the couch while my 2.5 year old goes wild. Accepting that my kid can entertain himself for 30 minutes and the whole world won’t end? That’s the key to (my) sanity. I’m also not above banning kid-addictive stuff that makes me crazy. So no to the Doodlebops. You’re never too young for the Ramones, the Kooks and the Fratellis, right? At least until he learns the lyrics and sings them in kindergarten …

- abby on September 5th, 2007

I am the mom to three bright, bossy southern “ladies”, ages 5 and 21 months (x 2). I am also a career mom, sister, daughter, wife, mediator, organizer, crazy person, friend, part-time grad student, leader of the “happy smile brigade” even when I don’t want to be and (hopefully) good person. I do it by just enjoying everything and try to laugh at myself at least once a day. I try to remember to at least occasionally ask for help, not do too much, and always spell check. And I insist that my husband be “Fundraising Daddy” for my oldest daughter (one job I just don’t have the patience to do).

- Sierra on September 5th, 2007

Every morning I put my 15 month old daugther in the car after her breakfast and we drive all the way across town to a drive-thru Starbucks. I get my caffeine fix, she reads a book, and it is a wonderful half hour for me to have to myself.

I haven’t read this book yet, but a friend recommended it and it sounds great. I think we as moms need to stop judging each other so much, and be honest with each other instead of perpetuating these false images of perfection to each other.

- Amy on September 5th, 2007

I usually get through the day by knowing there is ice cream in the freezer with my name on it, and my hubby will be home at 4 to rescue me!! Lately, since my hubby has been gone on business (5 weeks now) I get through the day in terms of sleep and food! Breakfast and cartoons, lunch and a walk, NAP TIME, then play time dinner bath and bed time, then my Ice Cream!!! Phone calls from my MOther and mOther in law do me great too! “just hang in there sweetie it doesnt last forever, and eventually you forget all the bad stuff anyway”

- Sarah on September 5th, 2007

How do I get through the day is with laughter.
I try to look at the poopy in pants accidents and the fact that my clothes are never clean due to sticky fingers as funny. I laugh at having a 1 and 3 year old sometime both hanging on my extremities. I laugh when I pack my kids in the car and my 3 year old says: ok I guess I will buckle myself or mommy where are my shoes. I laugh that my car has a smell I can no longer determine is poop or old food. When you have lollipop stuck to the back of you pants for g*d knows how long until an adult says you have something stuck to your pants.
You got to laugh that no matter how much planning packing to go tot he beach is like you are moving in, but your 3 your old will ask for the one snack you forgot. When you get rear ended with your kids in the back seat. After you are calm and deal with the police and all then you drive home crying. You three year old asks why you are crying. You say because I was scared and the car got damaged. He then says “oh mommy don’t cry it is just a car.” Looking through the child’s eyes makes me laugh and give such a wonderful perspective.
There are definite days I pack them in the car in the garage, run into the house ans scream and then come back like happy mommy!!

- stacy katz on September 5th, 2007

How do I get it done? Hmmm. I stick to our weekly schedule to get me through m-f and the weekends, we just coast through. I work full-time outside our home and I have a 15 month old who still hasn’t weaned! There are some mornings when I get up for work and I’ve only gotten a combined 3-4 hrs. of sleep and I wonder how I’ll get through the day?? Little things…that’s what it is that gets me through the day. Like my husband putting my clothes in the dryer for me to knock the wrinkles out, my girl waving bye bye with her whole arm and blowing me a kiss when I drop her off, a chai tea latte on my way in to work, getting to check CBB as soon as I sit down at my desk, my girl shouting “MOMMY” when she sees me after work…those little things are I think what does it

- Amanda on September 5th, 2007

I’m a very young mother, and I have a young daughter under the age of one. I’m a full-time student at the University of Louisville.I learn to get through the day with patience, naps, and the help of my boyfriend. I wake up between 4 and 5, feed the baby, get her back to sleep, get my self to class by 8 am (which is an hour drive away. I have to literally rush home so that my boyfriend can make it to work on time. I have a full work load, little sleep and a little one and so I nap when she naps and if she fussy I usually just break away from everything and take her for a walk. Otherwise I’d be even more stressed than I am already!

- Carrie on September 5th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”

I am a mother of a one and two year old, a fulltime kindergarten teacher with a 45 minute drive to school, graduate student, wife of a police officer and Discovery Toys Educational Consultant. This is how I get it done…
1. Cup of coffee to get me moving in the morning
2. Pill and half of Sertraline to calm the nerves
3. Kisses and hugs to last the day
4. Another cup of coffee to get through the morning with high energy 4,5 and 6 year olds
5. Coke at lunch to boost the energy to make it through the rest of the day
6. 30 minute run right after school to boost energy for the long car ride home
7. Kisses and hugs that make me feel good
8. Fun family time
9. Kisses and hugs and bedtime prayers thanking us for such precious blessings
10. Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade to calm the nerves and put me to sleep

Nothing is better than being a mother!

- Sarah on September 5th, 2007

I have a 4 year old, and 2 year old, and a 1 month old. I just set myself some goals for the day and check them off my mental To Do list. Girls up and dressed? Check. Diapers changed? Check. Breakfast? Check. Before I know it…the day is over.

Plus, my husband takes over on Saturday and Sunday mornings…and I get to sleep in…gotta love that!

- Jamie on September 5th, 2007

How do I do it?

I get through the day knowing that he has a 3 hour nap at midday everyday. I am able to do little snippets of cleaning, catch up with a friend, shower or just go online. My husband takes him to the park almost everyday for about 1 1/2 hours and I have additional me time. I guess I get through it with a little break from my lovely son and great support from my lovely husband.

- Susie on September 5th, 2007

How do I do it?

I go to work. I drop off my son, teach high school until 3:00 and fly off to day care to go get him! I think I’m a better mom working than I am staying at home.

Oh – and once I get home – I DO NOT sit down!! If I sit down, it’s all over, Mama ain’t gettin’ up!!

- Amber on September 5th, 2007

Wow, wouldn’t I like to know how I do it myself?! Let me start out by saying that it is not easy! I am a SAHM who has 3 children, ages 1, 3 and 5 and they keep me busy, busy, busy! With my oldest starting “real” school this year (Kindergarten) I realized that staying in my pj’s all day was not going to cut it considering I have to pick her up at 11:25 every day. (My hubby brings her to school in the a.m. on his way to work) So it came down to one simple word- SCHEDULE. It is the only way for me to fit in everything that needs to be done everyday. Between snack time and bath time, brushing teeth and doing hair, a schedule is the only way to do it. Without it I found myself getting everything done for my children but forgetting all about myself. So on top of all of the activites that keep my kids fed, clean and happy, I was also able to fit in scrapbooking time in the a.m. before they are awake, a little exercise time during Higglytown Heroes and free mom time during nap/quiet time for the kids. 1-3pm is my favorite time every day because I can curl up with a good book or let my head hit the pillow. Whatever I decide, I do not feel guilty about it whatsoever because it is MY time. I think that my kids have gotten a better mom because of it because I am less stressed and a lot chipper mid afternoon!

- angelbaby33 on September 5th, 2007

I get through the day by taking periodic breaks and me time by checking the Celebrity Baby Blog!! My LO s only 5 months old, so he isnt really independent yet. He needs me to tote him around- he isnt mobile. Its a lot of work but a lot of joy!

- Lauren on September 5th, 2007

I’m currently on bedrest and expecting my second baby to be born within the month. My FIRST baby is ony 17 mos. Three months ago I went back to school to get my bachelor’s degree.

To top it off my mother lives across the street and has terminal pancreatic cancer.

Honestly, when I stop to think about it I have no idea how I do it.

Most of the time I focus on what needs to be done today while trying to weave in values, lessons, and memories I want my son to have.

I try to focus on what I feel is most important (I’d rather my son explore his world than worry about how messy he is or stop him because he might fall down). Finally, I don’t allow myself to feel guilty for taking time to myself whether that’s napping instead of cleaning or watching a tv show while my son plays.

Being a mother has shown me a world and a side of myself I’d only hoped existed.

- Amanda S on September 5th, 2007

Some days I really don’t know how I do it! I am a college student taking 19 units this semester and I am also a stay-at-home mom of an almost 2 year old. My husband works graveyard 4 nights a week…12 hour shifts. We basically go 4 days without seeing each other because when I’m up, he’s sleeping or at work. The 3 days that he’s off, I have class at night. The rest of my classes are online. The key to my success is not letting anything pile up during the day, toys get picked up constantly, dishes go in the dishwasher as soon as we’re done eating, etc. Then, my son goes to bed at 8:00 pm at night. That’s my time to finish cleaning and get homework done. I’m usually up until midnight and our day starts all over again at 6:00 am. Despite all of the chaos, I truly do love being a mom. That’s what keeps me going everyday…nothing is better then my son’s smile or his hugs and kisses! Plus, being out and seeing other moms is the greatest motivation! There’s an unspoken connection when you smile at a mom with her newborn and you know she probably is going on 3 hours of sleep or a mom at Costco with 4 children by herself…it’s very empowering! I think ALL moms (stay-at-home, working, moms of 1, moms of 5, single moms, etc.) are amazing for what they do everyday!

- Ashley on September 5th, 2007

“How do I do it? How do I manage to get through the day?”

I repeat to myself these three phrases that I adopted when I became a mother:
- Different Strokes, for Different Folks. Eveyone does things differently, Everyone’s kids are different than mind. Accept that I do what works best for me, and they can too.
- I’ll never be 100% perfect. No matter how many books I read, sites I visit or stories I listen too, I am never going to have a day, dinner, shopping trip or play date that is perfect. GET OVER IT and Have fun.
- Love, Love and Lots of Kisses can go a long way. Screaming thru the night, Screaming in the car or screaming at dinner out, he’s still my baby and YES I love him to pieces.
- Oh Yeah, and a carton of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food, at 8:30PM.

- Twyla on September 5th, 2007

Truth be told, I get through it by lowering my standards! I have a 3 1/2 year old son and 2 little ladybugs, ages 5 and 7. I work part-time at my children’s dance school, do hair out of my house after my kids are in bed (because I love it and it reminds me I actually used to be cool) and oh yeah, my mom has cancer. Whew. I stopped trying to be perfect a long time ago… I laugh, I cry, I have endless phone conversations (while running errands of course) with my friends, who are my soul sisters in this crazy life, and currently am having a very passionate and expensive affair with Starbucks. I would love to have a clean house and a clean car, but my priorities now are extremely basic: keep my kids fed, bathed (occasionally), and feeling loved…not necessarily in that order

- Joelle on September 5th, 2007

By the skin of my teeth! I recently had my second child. Now I have a three and a half year old and a two and a half month old. I often feel like I am not doing it – or at least not doing it well. But then my daughter will tell me she loves me and do something that makes her uniquely her and my son will smile at me and I know that I have been the most influential person in making them who they are now and will become and it is all worth it. Even though at times it is quite a struggle.

- TBall on September 5th, 2007

I am a stay at home mum of 2 (2.5yaers & 9 months).I just try not to sweat the small stuff & I gave up trying to be a ‘perfect’ mommy. Along the way I realised that kids make mess, & break stuff & I can chose to stress out about it or not. Some days are great & some are so long & hard & there are those moments (like when my son used my one & only MAC lipstick to draw all over the bathroom tiles on the night that I was actually getting ready to go out) when you just want to have a tantrum yourself. Somedays it helps to grab a coffee & go to the park with some other mums, otherdays it is knowing that once the kids are in bed I can have a glass of wine! But the best thing is knowing that everynight my husband will come home & cook dinner, THAT gets me through the day!

- Christie on September 5th, 2007

Empathy!! I just try to put myself in my very busy toddlers space and realize that when she’s most frustrating she’s also most frustrated.

- Kim on September 5th, 2007

How do I get through the day?

I am a SAHM to 16 month old twins. When I am at my wit’s end and think I’m about to go insane, I remember my struggle with infertility. I think about those dark moments when I felt like a total failure as a woman and a wife. I think about how I felt when I thought I’d never hear a little voice say “mama”. I look at my children and realize how incredibly fortunate I am that our treatments worked and I have two healthy children. If that fails…well we invented red wine and chocolate for a reason, right??

- Sarah on September 5th, 2007

How do I manage to get through the day?

I’m a SAHM to our 2 1/2 year old daughter, and we’re expecting a little boy in November. I get through the day with help from my husband (he works from home in our basement), breaks when possible (nap time, or when hubby can spare 5 minutes away from work), and by splurging to hire a cleaning lady twice a month so at least I know the house will be clean on those days, even if it’s messy in between! I enjoy the good moments, and during the not-so-easy times I try to remember that “this too shall pass.” Not every day goes the way I wish it did, but I try to do my best, give lots of hugs, and remember that I am a huge focal point in my daughter’s world at this point in time, so I’d better be doing my best to be a good one!

- KF on September 6th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”
To be honest. I don’t know sometimes. I’m a singel working mom of a 3 yr.
My mom was also a single mom of two girls, so I think I learned a lot from her, on how to be strong and how not to give up even though sometimes you really want to. Without my daughter being who she is I don’t think I could ever make it. I feel guilty being a single working parent. I wish I could spend more tme with her. I think whats gets my through the day is my daughter. Coming home after a long hard day and seeing her face makes everything worth it. So I’d say that my daughter helps me make it.

- sheila on September 6th, 2007

Chocolate, the web and a good book – after cleaning, playing, cooking and bedtime routines… A little chocolate, surfing the web and settling in with a good a book, i am recharged for the next day…. that is if my son would sleep through the night…

Someday….

- KC on September 6th, 2007

Fake it! LOL, no really, I do a lot of praying. My three daughters are wonderful, and I love being a stay at home mom, but there some days I wanna rip my hair out. I keep in mind, no matter what the day brings, it is over before I know it, and my kids are a whole day closer to being gone.

- Tara on September 6th, 2007

In order not to become too overwhelmed, I try to take motherhood one day at a time. I also try not to worry about what I may have done wrong in the past or what needs to get done in the future……today is all that matters (and the only thing I have control over).

- e007 on September 6th, 2007

Honestly, sometimes I don’t know how I make it through the day. I work full time and have a 14 month old daughter. I feel like so much is going on and I want to do so much but can’t get it all done. I’ve learned to be ok with an unvaccumed floor or a hamper full of laundry that needs to be washed. I get through work because I know my daugher Georgia is waiting for me to get home. When I see her, nothing else much matters.

I have a great mom that watches my daughter while my husband and I work. I have a wonderful family that I know will always be there for me. In the end, no matter how hard the day is, everything I do is for my daughter. And I wouldn’t trade her or my life for anything in this world.

- Sarah on September 6th, 2007

How do I do it? I love being a mom and love my kids more than anything in this world but some days it is very hard. We pack everything the night before and load it in the car so we are ready and do not forget anything, well sometimes we do. We pick out everyone’s clothes the night before even mine. In the morning I get ready ready before I wake up the kids so that when they get up I can devote my full attention to them. Oh and we eat breakfast in the car they love it and it works. We have fun, good days and bad days, but we always work it out!

- Natalie on September 6th, 2007

I drink! Seriously, though the best lifesaver I’ve found is asking for help. I take turns with my sister in law and other friends in watching the kids so one or two moms can take a break, relax, get away, run errands, etc. And if I’m still feeling overwhelmed I remember that my kids won’t remember all the things I did they will remember how much love I gave.

- megan on September 6th, 2007

How do *I* do it? Vodka and the Home Shopping Network.

Noooo…HUMOR! That’s how I manage!

- Liz on September 6th, 2007

lately i pray a lot and i remind myself when the times are hard “this too shall pass”. i hope to win this book it would be so timely.

thanks CBB!

- Leslie on September 6th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”

OK..my son is now 4 and just starts junior kindergarten August 22, but until then I had been with him since birth. I don’t really know how I did it, I just did. I do know that all I EVER wanted to do was be a Mommy, and when I FINALLY got that, I was so happy, I just felt/feel fulfilled. I mean, if I never accomplish another thing in my life, I am fulfilled. Before school this year, we’d wake up together, make breakfast together, eat together, we’d have playdates with his little friends and their Mommies (my friends), and our days were just filled with my errands (early on) and the rest was just “our” time..I came up with little activities for us to go the older he got, and I didn’t even realize how well I was doing with him until I took him to his pediatrician for his 2 year checkup and the Dr. told me that he was on a 3-4 year old level with how advanced he was. And, every year after that, at his checkups, they have told me that he was a year or two ahead developmentally. Now though, our routine has changed a bit..I am up earlier than him, starting breakfast, getting his lunch packed and clothes laid out for him, then I go in and wake him up. I wake him with a little song or we cuddle for a few minutes..that puts him in a good mood from the start!
Now though, after he is off to bed, I have my “me” time..I have a cup of coffee, talk on the phone, have a hot bath..whatever..just to unwind. ALL Moms need their “me” time…that’s how I do it..I guess…:0)

- nicksmomma on September 6th, 2007

I work part time and I manage to do it with HELP from my husband and my parents! I struggle with the guilt from being away from my little one all day by making sure we take a walk together every night. I like to excerise and couldn’t hit the gym at night after work because I wanted to be with my little one so I take her now for a walk and I decompress but also get to spend time with her! We sing, clap, and just talk so she hears my voice.

- Nicole on September 6th, 2007

I get through the day by a big morning activity, that’s fun for us both. Then since no nap time happens anymore and I am pregnant I praise my savior Oprah to get me through the afternoon. My son thinks she is great and often tells me we should have her over.

- Julie on September 6th, 2007

How do we all do it??

It’s not coffee, not Diet Coke, not Pilates, Yoga or a even a night out with just the Hubby but we do it all because of the sheer and insanely intense love and devotion for our babies/kids/mini-me’s! My baby is my biggest and sometimes the only motivation I have to work 40 plus hours a week, come home to a household that must be fed, bathed and taken care of from top to bottom. But, I have to say I could not do any of this and wouldn’t have a beautiful baby to show for it if I didn’t have the help of my bff…my husband!

- Joy on September 6th, 2007

To get through the day I JUST DONT THINK ABOUT IT. I dont dwell on the bad, or sit and boil and think about all of the bad things – that my rent is late, bills are unpaid, or my house needs to be cleaned. Badly.

Not to sound like a sob story BUT -
My husband is 22, I’m 21. We have a newly 2 year old and a almost 10 month old. Both boys. I work 2 part time jobs, and my husband works full time. We rely on one babysitter (my husbands 19 year old brother. GOD BLESS HIM!!!!)

So, when I get home, my sons and I are like a team. We clean, we play, we make messes, and we cry. Nap? What nap? My house would burn down around me if I tried that.

I don’t worry about whats doing to get me through the day, I think about what my kids and I are going to do next.

I would give anything to stay home with them, so the time I do spend with them is spent having fun, and living our lives, rather than me being crabby and letting all of my worries take hold.

- Liza on September 6th, 2007

How do I manage it? Sometimes I don’t! Our house is sometimes FAR from spotless but my baby girl is always the center of my world and I live for the moment that I pick her up at daycare!

- Amber H. on September 6th, 2007

How do I manage it?
I have a 3 year old daughter and a 6 month old son and I’m a SAHM. The answer is simple, I manage to get through my hectic days, dr’s appts, shopping, errands, cleaning, etc. because I love my family. I don’t love doing those things, (cleaning the bathroom is my most hated job) but I do it because I care about my children and husband, they need to have a clean home to hang out in and a mom that keeps everything together.

- Alice on September 6th, 2007

I am a SAHM of six children ages 13,10,7,4, 2 and 6 months. Chaos and insanity are my life! When I feel myself getting stressed by all the flotsom and jetsum that is life, I take a deep breath and sit down and do something with my kids that is all about enjoying the moment and them and not about making sure the house is spotless and we all meet the epitome of perfect. These moments pass by too quickly – my children are growing up so fast, and some opportunities will never come again. I’m raising kids – not bucking for the good housekeeping seal of approval. So that is how I survive – taking advantage of the good moments and knowing that the crazy moments will pass by just as quickly as the good ones. Oh, and a good 2 hour family nap on Sunday afternoons will cure just about anything!

- Julia Schuck on September 6th, 2007

I’m a stay-at-home mom who homeschools her 8 year old daughter (high need) and works part-time as a virtual assistant. Fitting everything in is always a challenge, but I function better when I make time to work part-time. My work allows me to feel like I’m contributing to my family in a concrete way, gives me a little spending money that’s “my own,” and keeps me intellectually challenged. I’ve also given myself permission to not do everything perfectly, and to pay for help around the house. I make time for reading or other personal pursuits after my daughter is asleep. When I’m stressed, I use the flower remedy Impatiens; it really helps me keep my cool. I also try to interact with my daughter in ways that built her self-esteem and independence, and respond the way I would want my mom to respond if I were her.

And caffeine. Way too much caffeine.

- Stephanie H. on September 6th, 2007

with two girls under two getting thru the day is not easy without help. I joined a mom’s group and ask for tips every day.

found a great sitter that way, networked an even better mother’s helper for that deadly time after naps and before daddy’s home..

sourced great places to go for kids in the area on the weekends and found friends in my daughters playgroups.

I also take any help I can get even from my mother in law when I know she’s off I’ll tell I really need my haircut and just do get it done!

I also try to “be minful” be present in every moment of my kids lives. I know it will go fast!

- chantal on September 6th, 2007

“How do YOU do it? How do you manage to get through the day?”

Mommy’s little helper… COFFEE!

- Julie on September 6th, 2007

Naptime, naptime, naptime! Reading CBB once my 20-month old is down for his nap is one of my favorite ways to feel like ‘me’ and take a break. Also, I plug in my flat iron or curling iron and do my hair while he naps – who cares if my husband is the only one who will see it? It makes me feel better if I am tired and getting burned out.
I work 20 hours outside the home and am home w/my son the rest of the time. I absolutely love when he and I have our days to ourselves but you DO need a break now and then!
And after I nurse him at bedtime, he goes into his crib with his books and animals and says ‘night.’ He is content, and mama gets to go have a glass of wine with dada!
It’s the little things, I guess! After those exhausting newborn weeks breastfeeding day and night and sleeping in spurts, I figure regular nap and bedtime patterns are a little gift!
Thanks for the opportunity to win this book – I have a feeling its contents would make me feel less guilty about some things!!

- Paulette on September 6th, 2007

Once an hour I take inventory… “Where is she?” OK she’s safe. “Is the roof still over our heards?” Check. “Will we be needing the police, fire department or poison control anytime soon?” Nope, check. “Have we eaten anything of substance recently?” Check. (Whether it be 2 grapes or my daughter’s latest invention–a bowl of rice krispies with orange juice AND milk ON them) “Is my hair still attached to my head?” Check.

OK, time to sit back and chill until the next inventory!

- Anne B on September 6th, 2007

How do I do it? The answer is really quite simple… I don’t have a choice. Because my love for my children is so profound, I am somehow able to tackle feats that seem to defy space and time and all rationality to keep everyone happy, healthy, and safe at home. That said, I am not too big to admit that I often feel over tired and under appreciated- like I just want to give it all up and flee to a remote tropical island where I can sit and drink fruity drinks and read books that don’t have pictures in them and where I don’t ever have to do anything for anyone but myself- but then I hear the battle cry (Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!) and I am back in action. There are a few things that I rely on to help prop up whatever remnants of sanity remain: my MomAgenda to keep me organized, my laptop for email and entertainment, and every now and then I treat myself to something special (from Starbucks to pedicures- it really doesn’t matter). Oh, and I never carry an ugly old diaper bag:-)

- BetsyW on September 6th, 2007

HOW DO I MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY…

With prayer. I wake up and Thank God for giving me another day with my husband and my son,I ask for strength and guidence.
When I feel tired I think of the joy my husband and son bring to me.
Of course I couldnt do it with out my helfpul husband! He’s always there to lend a helping hand!

- Lorena on September 6th, 2007

Prayer, and an hour of “quiet time” in the afternoon.

- Kelly on September 6th, 2007

Thank goodness I have the support of my husband and mom. Having an extra hand really helps — it’s especially helpful to take breaks just for me, like taking a nap or going out for a mani/pedi. It allows me to tackle any issue that arises since I am re-energized.

- Nancy T on September 6th, 2007

How do I do it?

Some days I don’t. As a sahm that works part-time from home with a 2 year old and a 4 month old, I consider it an awesome day if the kids laugh and I get some laundry and dishes done!

- Kell on September 7th, 2007

i’m a homeschooling mum of two.

how do i do it?

by keeping my sense of humour. if i can’t laugh about all the things that go wrong in a day i’d be insane

- zehava on September 7th, 2007

How do I get thru the day?

Every morning I give myself 15 minutes to pity myself and play my woah is me. After that 15 minutes I get up put of bed, walk in my daughter’s room and give her the biggest hug and kiss. I remember that she is a precious gift…

- Holly on September 7th, 2007

I am busy too…but I guess we do what we can. I involve the kids in everything we do. So what if it isn’t perfect- the thought my little girl and guy helping and the smiles on their faces when they ask me if we can play or read next, is worth all the sacrifices we make. It truly is about reassessing what the most important values are. I will say a perfectly clean house is pretty far down on my list in the whole scheme of things- but it always seems to get done. Here is to the little messes and little pitter patter. I love them equally!
Jen

- Jenn Hack on September 7th, 2007

How do I do it? I know that no matter what path I take or what decision I make it will all affect more than just me. I am a single mother who just graduated college. There were times when I didn’t want to work, cook, clean, or study until 3:00 am, but I knew that I was doing this to make a better life for the both of us. There are many times when I feel like I am not doing enough. How did God choose ME to nurture and care for this little person? Because he knows that I am the best person for the job. I have been told by countless numbers of mothers that you always feel like you could be doing a better job. I love my son and I try to do every little (and big) thing I feel is in the best interest of him. Times can get CrAzY, but I would not change a single thing!!

- Michelle on September 7th, 2007

1) Prayer.
2) Coffee
3) More prayer
4) When things get rough with my 4 kids, I head to the local supermarket. They have a wonderful kids center and they will take my kids for an ENTIRE hour. I can get the groceries and I usually have enough time to grab a coffee and read a bit of a magazine or start a crossword puzzle.
I always try to remember that God has a plan and that He will not give me more than I am able to handle … but I have to know my limits too.
Laughing helps too — when I can take a minute and get silly with my kids – everything changes.

- Frannie Farmer on September 8th, 2007

I just remember how lucky I am to be able to be at home with my children … and I try to remember that I am not perfect. I wasn’t created to be A perfect mom – but I was created as THE perfect mom for my kids. We have to give ourselves some slack … life is too short to be mad, sad, anxious!

- Mamakraft on September 8th, 2007

Lots of wine! Just kidding!!
I couldn’t be the mother I am without the support of my wonderful husband. We have 4 beautiful children together and although our house is usually a circus, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

- Jada on September 8th, 2007