Update: Giveaway: From the Hips, a book for moms that "gives it straight and from all sides"

Update: The winners are Ashley, Nicole, Sarah, Gina, Amy, Charlene, Lois, Kirstin, Heather, and Julia.

This book gives it straight and from all sides, without judgment, and with irreverent humor and candor…
-Gwyneth Paltrow

From the Hips truly is the pregnancy and baby book of now— real, open-minded, and uncensored.  With an unflinching eye and a healthy dose of humor, this book deals with all the ways having a baby affects the body, brain, and life.  Drawing on the experiences of hundreds of parents and the expertise of doctors, midwives, and birth and baby pros, From the Hips is a comprehensive and fully illustrated resource filled with the most accurate and up-to-date information about having and caring for a baby.

Click Continue Reading for excerpts from the book!

Together with Three Rivers Press/Random House, we are giving away 10 copies of From the Hips.To enter, post a comment with the answer to this question, "What’s yourfavorite anti-rule about having a baby? Do you have any advice oranti-rules of your own?"

Visit FromTheHips.com for more information. 

Comments

Anti-Rule

Videos will not ruin your child’s brain and will give you a moment for sanity (or a chance to use the bathroom).

- Kell on September 10th, 2007

I have to go with no. 1 as my fave – I would never judge another parent who makes difft parenting choices as long as their baby is the first concern – and I feel I know what’s best for MY kids also. Right on!

- Lynn Anne on September 10th, 2007

“Strive for imperfection.” I think this might be my new motto.

- Jenna on September 10th, 2007

I wish this book was around when I was pregnant with my first child! This book looks like the perfect give for every mom to be. More often than not, we all get caught up in being the perfect parent, so I really like “3. Strive for imperfection.”

Going along with that, my favorite advice for new mothers: “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.” This is good for us to remember ourselves and to teach our children. Just because we make mistakes, it doesn’t mean we are mistakes.

- Jessalyn on September 10th, 2007

I like the first rule best, “YOu are the authority.” I think their is a lot to learn from other’s experiences but at the end of the day you must decide what is right for you and your child. Not being a mom quite yet I don’t have any of my own anti rules to add but I can’t wait to discover them.

- megan on September 10th, 2007

I really struggle with this. While I know everyone know’s their body and baby best, I don’t get it when people say that to cover up dangerous things they do with their kids like put them to bed with bottles, not put helmets on them when they bike ride, not put them in the correct carseat etc….I have a couple of friends who say “well I know my kids best” but actually they are doing things that are potentially dangerous…
But on the whole SOOOOOOOOOOOO true!

- LL on September 10th, 2007

I like “Parenting is out of control.” I need to always remember that!

- Katie on September 10th, 2007

I like n° 8 … No advise or anti-rules YET ! I’m due in 3 months … This books sounds like a GREAT read ;o)

- Caroline on September 10th, 2007

I have to say that No. 1 was the biggest issue for me. My mom and my mother-in-law were always giving me advice. It wasn’t until I “took charge” that I became comfortable taking care of my daughter.

- Shan on September 10th, 2007

Best thing I could recommend is to try not to have high expectations of things you cannot control, like “my baby will sleep through the night at 6 weeks”. Expect the worst, ie, my baby will wake up 5 times a night, and then if they do actually sleep well you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

- LC on September 10th, 2007

I can’t help it- I “strive for imperfection” every single day.

- momof2 on September 10th, 2007

Rule, anti-rules – there are no rules! It’s whatever is right for you and your baby – at that moment. Because as soon as you’ve got one “rule” down pat, that little bundle will throw you for a loop and change the rules all over again.

So maybe the rule should be go with the flow, it’s about all you can do!

- Heather Keller on September 10th, 2007

Here’s an anti -”anti-rule”..sometimes, the grammas and aunts who have kids, really do have something to contribute and while you don’t have to DO what they suggest, it doesn’t hurt you or the baby to listen and take it in.

- brookefan on September 10th, 2007

LL said: “I really struggle with this. While I know everyone knows their body and baby best, I don’t get it when people say that to cover up dangerous things they do with their kids like put them to bed with bottles, not put helmets on them when they bike ride, not put them in the correct carseat etc.”

My SIL said that about not putting her son in a carseat when he’s fussy. Makes me nervous.

In a lot of ways the sentiment can be good though, like friends of mine who know how their babies will react in certain public settings. In my parents’ time, I think a lot of people looked down on parents who brought children to non-fast-food restaurants, but now I think the anti-rule is that it’s not like a hard-and-fast rule: parents can decide if a child and the setting will be compatible.

The book looks really interesting and now that hubby and I are planning to start trying, I’d love a copy!

- emmalee on September 10th, 2007

My fave anti-rule is actually from a movie, the modern version of “Yours, Mine and Ours”. It goes: “Homes are about free expression, not first impressions.” I love that! I tell people all the time that we are decorating in “early childhood”. One of these days my walls will be spotless and I won’t be trying to figure out how to get permanent marker off the couch, piano or baby. No more crayola ring around the tub. I know though, that when that day comes – I will be looking at my pristine walls with bittersweet memories of what it was like when my six kidlets were small and the world was theirs to color.

- Julia Schuck on September 10th, 2007

Here’s an anti-rule I like: keep it simple. Do everything and anything the simplest way possible. My toddler’s hair is short & wavy, so it doesn’t always need combed. I cook meals that he enjoys and can eat himself, while still being acceptable for us adults. He eats plenty of fruit so he doesn’t need juice (spilled water is much easier to clean!). Toys can be tossed into a special corner in just a few seconds if necessary.

Another way to put it is “don’t sweat the small stuff” (apologies to Dr. Carlson).

- Jayne on September 10th, 2007

I like rule 8, too. My own anti-rule? She doesn’t have to be learning every second. It’s okay just to snuggle quietly and not worry if I’m stimulating her brain with enough words per day, enough activities, etc.

- Jenna on September 10th, 2007

I like Rule #10 which sums it all up – “there is no right way”. All of us need to be each other’s advocates in both pregnancy and parenting without imposing judgements. Everyone needs to make the choice which bests suits them and their baby. If we all followed the same “rules”, it would be a boring world. I think sometimes Pregnancy and Parenting is one of those areas where people feel they can jump in and provide unsolicited advice. No one likes to feel like they’re doing something wrong, especially in these areas, so it’s important to acknowledge that maybe you wouldn’t necessarily do something one way, but if it works for your friend, then who are you to judge? And vice versa, of course!

- Charlene on September 10th, 2007

No.8 strikes a chord with me! Often times I find myself wondering if I am doing enough to make my baby well socialized, happy, well-rounded and fed nutrionally sound meals. Now that he is 18 months old, he is more challenging than ever. He used to be known as the “happiest baby” and is now alternating from that to the crankiest baby to “sensitive baby” to “picky eater” who loves to say no more often than not. At the end of the day, he is still my awesome baby but he definetely makes me work hard!
A good anti-rule is Don’t say to another mother “what’s wrong with him?”. Try to be understanding of her situation. Support, support, support.

- Susie on September 10th, 2007

I have this book, and to all who haven’t read it, it’s worth it! I like the point blank attitude! I’m working through the birth section now, as I approach my due date!

- Monika on September 10th, 2007

My advise to first-time Moms is just to enjoy your children because they grow up so fast. Hug them, love them, hold them, etc. Because in a few years when they’d rather hang out with their friends, you’re going to miss them. So, hold off on doing the chores every once in awhile and just enjoy being with your children and laughing with them. I love experiencing things through my daughters’ eyes.

My Anti-Rule: Do what works for your kids. Mine are both belly sleepers. I tried to get them to sleep on their backs and they wouldn’t do it. So the rule of the thumb is there is no rule of thumb. Do what works for you and your children… in 10 years, the experts will change the “rules” anyways!

- Amy on September 10th, 2007

I’ve got another one. Don’t judge other parents because it will come back to bite you in the butt. They’re doing what works for them and you have no idea what their day has been like.

- Amy on September 10th, 2007

My anti-rule is do your own thing. If it works for your family that is great. Everyone is different and has their own ways of making things work. We co-sleep and it works for us and is in a safe and loving environment. Do not judge others and their ways.

- Natalie on September 10th, 2007

10~ there is no right way.
I always remember my cousin telling me that parenting is the hardest job, it doesnt come with instructions. ~ I agree!

- Lorena on September 10th, 2007

No matter how organized you are pre-baby, you will find yourself in a sleep deprived stupper running around looking for your car keys (or any other missing item because they will be numerous) because you accidently put them in the freezer with the breastmilk. LOL! It happens to us all.

Lois

- Lois Whittaker on September 10th, 2007

“Strive for imperfection” rings true for me too. Sometimes I instintively try too hard to make everything perfect for my baby girl, and I need to remember that just being a good mom is perfect enough for her.

- Melissa on September 10th, 2007

“What’s your favorite anti-rule about having a baby?”
–#8 & 9, b/c that’s exactly what I’m struggling with as I sit here gestating my first child. I liked how they put it: Your NEW life is just beginning!

“Do you have any advice or anti-rules of your own?”
–I am not experienced yet in order to provide my own advice/rule; but I have to say taht I agree w/what excerpts I’ve read so far in this book, and I’m definately going to have to get a copy of it!!

- Kirstin S. on September 10th, 2007

My favorite is #1–I have a MIL who has to put in her two cents and weigh in on absolutely everything. I see that my child is more than fine doing things the way I (and not necessarily she) think is best.

As such, my “anti-rule” is to TRUST YOUR GUT. Women have been giving birth to and raising babies–without how-to books, fancy toys, etc.–for centuries and centuries. Whatever mistake you have made another mother has made–your child will turn out fine! Being a great parent means that you will make a lot of mistakes, and your child will actually be the better for it.

This book sounds great!

- Ashley on September 10th, 2007

This sounds like a great book! I like all of the anti-rules. I would tell new parents just to listen to their baby. Since each baby is different, no single type of advice is gonna cut it. These tiny things really do know how to ask for what they need (even if we can’t always understand)!

- Sarah on September 10th, 2007

confidence is more important than instinct is my favorite…today it can be tough to surround yourself with people who make you feel stronger & good about yourself. plus, when you think of instinct you may think its something you have to be born with & you could fail if you feel you dont have it, but confidence is something you can build.

- gina on September 11th, 2007

My favorite anti-rule has to be “strive for imperfection” because I think that’s exactly what new Moms have to realize–they can’t be perfect, and they don’t HAVE to be! Once Moms relax and enjoy parenting, they’ll be happier and so will their kids.

- Viv on September 11th, 2007

I’m a firm believer in #1. But since I’m only in the first trimester with our first child my current anti-rule is to not use the phrase “but I’m carrying your child” to get my husband to do stuff for me.

- Casie B. on September 11th, 2007

If you like these excerpts, you have to read Vicki Iovine’s ‘The Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood’. She is very funny and down-to-earth about the process of going from ‘person’ to ‘mother’.

- Elizabeth on September 11th, 2007

I like “Parenting is out of control”. I’m pregnant with my first and when I start to get worried about things it helps me to remember that most of what happens during pregnancy is out of my control, too.

- Suz on September 11th, 2007

I’m totally looking forward to reading this book!!! I’d have to say that number 10 is my favorite. There really isn’t a right way to parent. Everyone is going to make mistakes…the challenge is to not keep repeating them.

- Nicole on September 11th, 2007

#10, for sure. It kind of encompasses all of the other rules!

- Naomi on September 11th, 2007

I used to be a control freak before having my son. That has all gone out the window now and I love it! I no longer stress out if I’m running late because I’ve had numerous times where I’ve gotten my son ready, including shoes only to have him poop right before we walk out the door and we have to start all over again!

My number one rule is to be flexible. Schedules are great, but there are days where my son won’t take a nap or he’ll nap through lunchtime. Also, with my husband being at work or sleeping 4 days a week while we’re up (he works nights), sometimes bedtime is a little later to give him extra time with daddy on his days off. It’s okay to take things as they come and find out what works for you.

- Ashley on September 12th, 2007