David Duchovny on the dangers of the Internet and bargaining with Miller

09/05/2007 at 12:43 AM ET

14832pcn_dave10_cbb_2Californication star David Duchovny stopped by Late Night with Conan O’Brien and shared somealways interesting stories about his and Téa Leoni‘s children,Madeleine West, 8, and Kyd Miller, 5. Using the Internet to help her onher report for bears, West pulled up ten results and one of them wasn’tquite like the others.

I went back and looked because you never know what they’reexposed to on the Internet and it was on my computer and I saw ‘bears’and it gives you like 10 options or whatever. On the fourth or fifthoption was a gay magazine ’cause a bear is a very hairy gay man…Icould not rack my brain around the idea of my daughter — she probablydidn’t — I could only hope she didn’t open up her fifth open, whichwas to look at these hairy men and what she thought, you know, ‘Whatkind of bear is that?’

As for Miller, no such issues with the World Wide Web justyet. The only thing he’s concerned with nowadays is money, David, 47,says.

He’s a miser. I’m half-Jewish and half-Scottish, so he hadno shot with the money, so he just hoards. He’s got all these dollarbills and puts it in a lunch box. He’s got $170 and he wants an iPod,but he doesn’t want to pay for it — he wants us to buy it.

I said, ‘You have enough money, buy yourself an iPod.’ Andhe’s like, ‘No, ’cause then I won’t have any money left.’ So I said, ‘Howmuch money are you gonna save?’ ‘I’m gonna get a million dollars.’ ‘Andthen what are you gonna do?’ He said, ‘Spend a dollar.’

Miller might want to work on his math first before spending his dough.

Hereally wants a $100 bill, so I said, ‘I’ll give you a $100 bill for $100of yours — a couple twentys.’ And he said, ‘No, no, then you’re takingmy money.’ And I said, ‘No, it’s an exchange. It’s the same thing.You’re not losing any.’ And he said, ‘No, no. You can’t take my money.’So I said, ‘Okay, I’ll give you $100 for $90,’ which is a good deal. Sonow I think he’s kind of a dumb miser.


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ang on

this family kinda weirds me out-a 5yo genitalia-appreciating boy with $170 who wants an ipod? forget californication, this family should do a reality show.

PSB on

LOL! At least he’s teaching him about saving money. There sure are a lot of Hollywood offspring who could use a lesson in saving/spending.

Natasha on

ang, a lot of kids have ipod’s these days. Kate Beckinsale’s daughter Lily has had one since she was like 6, Madonna’s daughter Lourdes has one, and my 8 year old cousin just got one for her birthday.

jen on

I am trying to figure out what is so weird about Miller having his own money and wanting an ipod. If he is saving his money I think that is good. He is learning that just because his parents are wealthy doesn’t mean he gets everything he wants. Goodness people complain about the other stories now you get one where is sounds like my kids and someone still complains.

Aaron on

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I love this family. Great sense of humor. David Duchovny really disappointed me when he went off and had kids with Tea Leoni–I was hoping that we’d hook up in my fantasy life, damnit! I love how normal they are. They seem like a family that my family would hang out with. Quirky and fun!

Mani on

David’s story about his kids are too funny. LOL
You know Miller sounds like my little cousin, It took me forever to get him to understand that a 5 dollar bill is the same as 5 one dolla bills.

The internet thing is so true too, you almost have to search for them.

ang on

ok i can understand ipods having photos or whatever but what music is a 5yo listening to? also i think its kind of a bad habit for kids to get into if they use it too much too young. i work in retail and i see mother and 2 young children come in and they’re both plugged in bopping away and mums talking to herself. families should communicate more not less-why not get speakers so everyone can listen?

Karel on

Are they embarrassed to call him Kyd?

Sarah’s note: It’s a family tradition on Tea’s side to call the kids by their middle names. Kyd is a family name, I believe, also.

Campbell on

I thought the story was hilarious! Kids say the darndest things.

Rebecca on

In relation to ang’s comment…who are you to judge on anyones parenting…are you saying that you are a perfect parent? Maybe if you looked at the positive aspect of what DD has said, and not the negatives, then you wouldnt think that his family was weird!

And also, get your story straight…his daughter was looking at Bears on the net and it came up with big hairy men…not his son!

Lastly, i think that teaching a child to save at Kyd’s age is fantastic and they deserve a gold medal in my books!

Well done DD and keep up the good work!