Nicole Kidman reveals miscarriage during marriage to Tom Cruise

In excerpts released from the October 2007 issue of Vanity Fair magazine, the cover of which she graces, actress Nicole Kidman, 40, confirms that she miscarried Tom Cruise’s baby — but the timeline is different than what many may suspect.  According to Nicole — who adopted two children with her ex-husband, 14-year-old Isabella and 12-year-old Connor — the baby was conceived "early on" in the marriage; Nicole makes no mention of a miscarriage shortly before the couple separated in 2001, as has been widely speculated. 

From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that’s when it came that we would adopt Bella. There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.

Parenting a teenager and a pre-teen has been an adventure for the Australia-bred actress.

I called Tom and said, ‘Guess what? Bella wants blue hair.’ I go with my daughter to the hair salon to get it dyed blue, and I look at her and I think, My God, it’s cool.

Despite the excitement of Isabella and Connor, Nicole — now married to country singer Keith Urban — says she’s still "yearning" to have a baby.  The couple, who wed last year, plan to take "a couple of years" to spend alone with each other before introducing a newborn into the mix, at Keith’s request.

I think I would be very sad if I wasn’t able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly.

Source:  Vanity Fair via US Weekly

Comments

Tracy on September 4th, 2007

That’s so sad!

I hate to say it, but she isn’t as young as she used to be; I wonder how she’s going to have a baby in a couple of years, especially if she’s already had such trouble trying…

MommyX1 on September 4th, 2007

Hmmm. They are going to wait a couple of years still? Isn’t she already at least 40? I don’t quite understand why they would wait…especially if she’s had all kinds of fertility problems in the past.

jenny on September 4th, 2007

I think we would all love to see Nicole pregnant, but honestly, how much more time does she think she has to conceive? I think saying that she is waiting until Keith is ready to be a father is pretty ridiculous at this point. Also, one miscarriage does not usually curtail all future attempts at getting pregnant so I am guessing that either she miscarried more than she is letting on or that she knows that her chances of getting pregnant are slim.

sarah on September 4th, 2007

I could be wrong, but didn’t Nicole herself once say that she miscarried near the end of her marriage to Cruise? How unfortunate, if she’s lost two pregnancies. How unfortunate, that she’s lost at least one.

Tracy, I definitely see what you’re saying about Nicole’s age, but given Keith Urban’s recent treatment for substance abuse issues, waiting a few years might be the best option.

Kate on September 4th, 2007

Perhaps she’s just saying they want to wait so that people will get off her back and stop asking her when she’s going to have a baby. If I was trying to get pregnant and having trouble I wouldn’t want people asking me all the time about it.

Annabel on September 4th, 2007

It occurs to me she might be saying they’re waiting a few years partly to stave off the inevitable bump-watch that would happen (and already is, anyway) if she said they were trying right now. This way she buys herself a little breathing room and privacy.

Agreed that while waiting may be the responsible thing to do in light of Keith’s addiction recovery, it also makes me nervous about her chances. She seems like a nice lady – I want her to get what she wants!

tink1217 on September 4th, 2007

I feel for her. I have had 9 miscarriages and its no picnic. But, just because she has had miscarriages doesn’ mean she can’t have a baby. There are options. She and Tom may just not have been compatible. It happens and sometimes people with similar tissue types are destined for miscarriages. Believe me, I have heard it all and been tested for it all. She and Keith may be just fine when they decide to try. And, I agree with the poster who said that it may be a good idea for them to wait a bit before trying due to Keith’s alcohol problems. He may be sober now but he will always be an alcoholic. Its a lifelong affliction and a lifelong battle.

Dawna on September 4th, 2007

Interesting comments from Nicole! So that’s why they adopted Isabella and Connor. I always thought Tom was sterile, but look he sired Suri and there’s no doubt she’s his biological child, too many facial similarities (contrary to those that said Chris Klein’s or Ron Hubbard’s frozen sperm donation, or some silly thing.

I guess the rumours started about Tom when he and Nicole chose to bring Isabella and Connor into their family, and no biological children. Tom was also married to Mimi Rogers (who converted him to Scientology), and no children out of that marriage so that’s probably why the rumour thought Tom was sterile.

Now we hear from Nicole it looks like she is the one with fertility problems, especially in carrying to term. Maybe she has a blood or thyroid condition that while she is able to conceive she is not able to maintain the pregnancy.

On another topic, is it just me or is the age of celebrity mums getting older and older? We’ve got Kelly Preston who is 44 years old saying oh I’ll get pregnant in the next year or two, Nicole is 40, Marcia Cross was 44, Salma Hayek is 41, etc. Does this kind of give an unrealistic picture of how “easy” it is to have get pregnant after the age of 40, especially with such an increaed risk of having a baby with a disability?

Principesa on September 4th, 2007

I was under the impression that CBB was going to not use the term adoption as an adjective!? Did we not recently see posts to this effect earlier in the summer?

It would have been correct to write “Nicole who has adopted…”

Sarah’s note: No, we are not. I guess Missy didn’t realize what she wrote. I’ll change it right now. Sorry about that.

gabriella on September 4th, 2007

I always said when people would say tom is sterile, um how do we not know it was nicole who couldn’t have children. And obviously she did have problems, and might still be having problems right now. As for her saying she is gonna wait a few years I agree with kate, she might just being said that so people don’t report every month that she looks pregnant. And yes celebrity moms tend to have kids older, mostly because I think they focus on their career for awhile while they are young and considered for hollywood standards in their prime around the ages of 30′s 40′s. I’m sure many if not most of them have the amino though because after 35 doctors recommand that. Not all women at 40 have problems getting pregnant though, but for the ones in hollywood that have, they also have the money to get the best fertility treatments so that helps.

Jackie on September 4th, 2007

Keith Urban gave an interview in April in London and said that he would love to be a dad “next year”, that would be 2008. Nicole has a pretty full filming schedule herself. Before they even got married, she knew she’d be filming in Australia for the majority of this year. And a month after they got married, she signed onto the The Golden Compass, the first movie of a trilogy, and began shooting in September in London. She’s also signed onto the 2 sequels and also starts another film in Germany as soon as she’s finished filming Australia. So I don’t think the hold up is all Keith Urban’s doing.

Principesa on September 4th, 2007

Many thanks, Sarah!

Sarah on September 4th, 2007

uhm.. I agree, I think it’s kind of late having a baby at 40 years old. But the Desprete Housewives acress, the readhead (dont remember her name), had twins when she was what, like 45? And she seems like a good mum looking at the photos of her and her daughters here. So good luck to Nicole

elisa on September 4th, 2007

Finally ! I always knew she had at least two miscarriages during her marriage with Tom …

Beccalovesbabies on September 4th, 2007

I agree with a couple of posters above who think that it’s wise to wait, given Keith’s recent rehab and recovery.

But even if Keith DIDN’T have that burden, he has the right to make that request, so long as Nicole knew about it before the wedding. If he said, “Hey, let’s make it just the us for a couple of years, so you and I can enjoy each other, and so I can bond with Isabella and Connor before we add ‘competition’ to the mix.” I think it’s very smart. If Nicole knew before the wedding that he felt that way, her going through with the wedding was essentially “informed consent.”

Plus, Isabella and Connor are already being shuffled back and forth. They get to look at Suri ALWAYS being raised by their dad when THEY don’t get to be. It’s nice that they won’t have to deal with that pain from Nicole until they’re a little older.

Tanya on September 4th, 2007

I think Nicole had at least two miscarriages in her marriage to Tom. The early miscarriage and that one shorthly after their marriage ended. I read years ago that she was pregnant with Toms baby in 2001, but then when he told her about wanting a divorce,the shock of it all made her lose the baby.. Probably she aint talking about it because its too painfull,caus she could have been the one to have Toms only biological child. I also think its obvious that shes the one who had fertility issues since Tom made Katie Holms pregnant soon enough, and now they`ve got a beautiful babygirl Suri together! Unlike Keith and Nicole whos got no child together yet. I don’t think waiting after you`re 40 years old to try for a baby is very smart, but at least shes got two adopted kids to enjoy being mom to if they don`t succeed in having a baby.

Campbell on September 4th, 2007

Prime example of how we really just guess at so much. Even tho it can be fun at times (as long as it’s not hurtful). She certainly was being candid. She could have frozen eggs, who knows. I’d much rather see a man say “not ready just YET” as opposed to feeling that way and not being forthcoming. I think it speaks to the state of their relationship. Seemingly VERY emotionally honest and open. She is blessed to be married to a man whom while dealing w/ the disease of addiction is so emotionally honest about such a serious matter. I wish them every happiness and hope they attain their hearts desires.

ZaraB on September 4th, 2007

While I agree that it’s important that Keith is fit and healthy before they start trying to conceive, it takes around 100 days for a man to produce a fresh batch of sperm, so if he’s been clean and sober for the past few months, he should be physically well enough to conceive a child. Of course, he may not be emotionally ready, but the stark reality is that Nicole is 40!!! At 40, you’ve got around a 5% chance of falling pregnant in any given cycle, and of course a greatly increased risk of having a baby with genetic abnormalities.

I really hope for Nicole’s sake that she is just buying time with her comments, however I do think that if all these Hollywood women in their 40s know full well about the risks of waiting until that age to conceive, they should stop acting as though the biological clock doesn’t exist, because it doesn’t do any favours to the thousands of women out there who are unaware of how much your fertility declines as you age.

My Gyn/OB told me that most Hollywood actresses in their 40s use egg donors, but of course this is never spoken about – it’s always just presented as the most natural thing in the world when a 48 year old woman appears to conceive naturally, then gives birth to healthy twins.

Nicole – my advice to you – START TRYING NOW!!!

terri on September 4th, 2007

When or if Nicole choose to become pregnant is her business, and I wish her a healthy, easy pregnancy if it happens.

trixie on September 4th, 2007

Maybe Nicole means she and Keith will adopt a newborn? That’s a possibility, too.

I wonder what she means that there is a long story behind adopting Bella. I had once heard a rumor that Tom and Nicole’s children were the biological kids of Scientologists who were too busy in their work with the church to raise them, so it was arranged by the church of Scientology that Tom and Nicole adopt them. That may be a totally bizarre rumor.

Either way, I think it’s clear Tom and Nicole are both good parents who really love their kids. Despite all the gossip, the two seem to have worked out a great co-parenting relationship.

Kate on September 4th, 2007

“however I do think that if all these Hollywood women in their 40s know full well about the risks of waiting until that age to conceive, they should stop acting as though the biological clock doesn’t exist, because it doesn’t do any favours to the thousands of women out there who are unaware of how much your fertility declines as you age”

ZaraB: It’s very unfair to expect the celebrities to be well informed on issues of fertility at the same time that you’re giving the rest of the women in America a free pass to be ignorant about such important issues.

It is not the job of the celebrities to provide us with fertility information, it is our responsibility to seek that information out from doctors and not from celebrities. If a person isn’t mature enough to seek out medical information from legitimate sources then that’s their problem and not the celebrities problem. People need to take some responsiblity for their own choices and stop blaming celebrities and the media for their decisions.

Eclaire on September 4th, 2007

I dont agree that the reason for her not being pregnant (or trying) for children is due to Keith not coming around. Nicole is a renowned workaholic.

I have seen and read numerous interviews with Keith and he always seems keen and eager to become a dad asap.

I dont like to be pessimistic but I would bet money that Nicole will not have a biological child.

One never really knows the facts, but I think she made her decision not to have children biologically a while ago. Her actions do not corrolate with her words, and from my perspective her talk is just froth and bubble.

AshM on September 4th, 2007

I agree with Campbell who mentioned that for all we know, Nicole has had some eggs frozen. When I read that Nicole had mentioned waiting a couple years, I thought, “here we go with the comments about her getting too old to conceive, etc…” Perhaps Nicole will chose to adopt again, who knows…I would think that she realizes her chances of having a biological child are getting slim as the years go by…I would imagine/hope Nicole has some sort of plan in place!

Jody on September 4th, 2007

Perhaps Kidman and Urban expect to try conceiving with Donor Eggs (DE) if she cannot successfully conceive and carry a child to term. Although many older celebrity moms refuse to discuss the issue, almost all Reproductive Endocronologists will tell you that women over the age of 44 who’ve never been pregnant before almost always (98% of the time) succeed only when using DE.

As a mother who has already built her family through adoption, Kidman might be quite content to use DE. She may want the experience of pregnancy and breastfeeding but not care about having a genetic connection to any of her other children, either.

Also, just because Kidman miscarried twice, and Holmes was quickly successful with her pregnancy, does not mean that Kidman was “at fault” for her first family’s infertility. Perhaps after the pain of the miscarriage, Kidman and Cruise rapidly pursued adoption, expecting later to conceive another biological child, but career or a declining marriage interrupted those plans. Perhaps the early miscarriage was the result of a translocation in Tom’s sperm, which wouldn’t typically affect ALL sperm, thus allowing him to successfully conceive over time or with a bit of luck.

Frankly, there’s no way to know the causes of any particular couple’s infertility unless they choose to share the details with the world. Clearly Cruise and Kidman (and Mimi Rogers before that — she was once reported to have wanted children with Cruise herself) choose to keep the details private.

Kate on September 4th, 2007

Eclaire: What an incredibly insensitive thing to say. Did you ever stop to consider that some people don’t get to make the decision about biological children, their bodies make the decision for them. Just because she has not gotten pregnant yet does not mean that it was her choice.

Erin on September 5th, 2007

1. Having a miscarriage doesn’t mean you have “all kinds of fertility problems”.

2. Adoption isn’t a last resort.

3. Yes, she’s older…my mother was 38 when I was born and 41 when she had my sister. She died of breast cancer a week before her 52nd birthday. Having children later in life (beginning at 35) increases your chances of cancer and I see it as a bit selfish in some ways. Your kids may not have a healthy mother…

4. I adore this couple. He’s an amazing musician and she’s a fantastic actress – they seem very “normal” and in love…hope whatever their dreams are come true.

Kate on September 5th, 2007

“Having children later in life (beginning at 35) increases your chances of cancer and I see it as a bit selfish in some ways. Your kids may not have a healthy mother…”

Erin: From what I’ve read I believe it’s actually for anyone over the age of 30. But it is only one of the factors that could lead to breast cancer, and not the only factor. So I don’t see how it’s selfish of a person to delay having a child until they’re ready. Yes, it’s great for a child to have a healthy mother. But it’s also incredibly important for children to have parents who are emotionally and financially ready to have a child, and if a person isn’t ready in their twenties then I see nothing unselfish about waiting. In fact, I think it would be selfish to have a child before you’re really ready just because that’s what the latest research study advises. There are so many things that can cause cancer that it would be a shame for a person to alter their whole life around avoiding any possible thing that might be a factor – particularly for people who don’t have any of the other risk factors.

PSB on September 5th, 2007

Maybe Nicole’s younger sister will donate some eggs if Nicole cannot produce enough healthy ones for IVF and can’t get pregnant on her own? This is one way she could have abio connection with her children, if that is important to her. I have a feeling she’s going to be using donor eggs either way (whether they are related to her or not) – though as an adoptive mother, she must know more than anybody that genetics don’t really factor into how much you love your child. I really hope she can get pregnant, if that’s what she wants. I’m wondering, however, if Keith is even interested in being a father. Who knows?

Tia on September 6th, 2007

In her interview in Vanity fair she said “I try to have a baby but couldn’t, so that’s when we adopt Bella. There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.”
I think the complicated background she is talking about is that she reportedly had an ectopic pregnancy (you can google it its in many of her online biography), and in 1991 was hospitalized for removal of scar tissue.