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Kellie Coffey reveals how fertility struggle inspired new song

08/22/2007 at 08:30 AM ET

Academy of Country Music award winner Kellie Coffey, 36, always knew she wanted to do two things with her life…be a mother and a singer. Little did she know that her journey to become a mother would produce "I Would Die For That," a song about her struggles with infertility. The song, which is featured on her new album Walk On, is now one of the top videos on YouTube.

With all the success of the video, Kellie felt it was time to share her story in her own words. 

Click below to read Kellie’s story, to watch the video, and for a new picture of her little miracle, now 20 months.

On her official site, Kellie recalls her struggles to be a mother:

I knew it was happening to me…but I couldn’t believe it.  I didn’t wantto believe it.  I went to my writing session with my producer, WayneKirkpatrick, anyway.  When I got there, it got worse.  I was reallycramping and bleeding now.  I looked at him with tears in my eyes andsaid, “I think something bad is happening.”

He was looking at hiscomputer trying to bring up some sounds for a song we were workingon…"Huh?” he said and looked up as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

I heardmyself say the words, “I think I’m having a miscarriage.” He stood upand hugged me. He was very comforting but I said, “I have to call myhusband, Geoff [Koch], I have to go home.”

I wondered if I had workedout too hard.  Maybe I ate something bad. Why was this happening to me?Was I too stressed out?  Did I wait too long to have a baby? I wasgetting hysterical.  Maybe it will stop and the baby will be alright.

Geoff answered the phone, “Hello?” 
“It’s getting worse,” I blurted out, sobbing. 
“Where are you?”  he asked. 
“I’m driving.” 
“I want you to calm down.  Do you need to pull over?" 
“No. I just want to get home and lay down.”
“Youare closer to the doctor’s office. Can you drive yourself there? I willmeet you. You have to calm down first, though. It’s going to bealright.”

Geoff has this way of making me feel like it’s gonna be okay.He is a rock.

Kellie and her husband, Geoff, had decided to wait to have a family while Kellie’s career took off.

My career was all encompassing.  It was likestepping onto a moving train. I was working so hard.  I was sofocused.  There were two things that I wanted in life more thananything.  One was to be a singer and the other was to be a mom.  Ikept telling myself (and my husband), we’ll get pregnant after I canget established in the business, after this next single, once my secondalbum hits retail…after I get a hold of this thing.

Like mostwomen I wanted to have it all: a great marriage, fulfilling career andbe a hands-on Mom.  The reality is there is a price for everything.  Iknew there was discrimination involving female artists getting pregnantin the recording industry. It was looked upon as a lack of commitment.You’ll lose your edge. You’ll get fat and have to take a break fromtouring and promoting your records.

My record label executives neverdirectly said that I would be putting my career at risk by gettingpregnant. However, the rampant negative comments about other femalesingers that were having babies made their position clear: You’llseriously damage your career.

So I put it off. I didn’t start my familywhen I wanted to…I kept working. I was touring with some of thebiggest names in country music and hearing my songs on the radio butsomething was missing…children. I looked up and I was 32.

At that point, the songstress knew that she had a decision to make – her career or a family.

So,I had a choice to make and for me there really was no choice. As anewer, non-established artist I knew what I was risking but I knew whatI wanted. Because I was so excited, I let it slip out at a businessdinner with my manager that my husband and I had been trying to getpregnant.

Within a month, my manager was gone and so was my recordlabel. I was surprised at the speed with which I found myself on theoutside.

While I tried to pick up the pieces of my career, I turnedmost of my attention to preparing myself for motherhood, at least thegetting pregnant part. I read everything there was to read. Mostly, Iworried that somehow it wasn’t going to happen for me, that I hadwaited too long and I wouldn’t be able to conceive. It wasn’t rationalbut it was a real fear.

After a year of trying, it all poured out in asongwriting session. I laid my soul bare with my co-writers. Within acouple of hours we had written, “I Would Die For That.” I wasn’t sure Icould ever sing it in public because it made me cry every time I justread the lyrics.

The amazing thing was that I found out I waspregnant within a few days after writing the song. My husband and Istarted dreaming about a child.  Was it a girl or a boy?  What would wename him or her?  I was walking on a cloud.  I poured myself back intomy songwriting with a vengeance. I could have it all and it was fullspeed ahead. Then came the worst day of my life.

Sobbing while I drovemyself to my doctor’s office,  I kept saying out loud, “No. This can’tbe happening to me.  I already love this baby.”  Within a few days, weleft for Oklahoma to spend Thanksgiving with my family, where I hadplanned to tell them all I was pregnant. At least I was surrounded bymy family that weekend.

Kellie and her husband decided to try again and she was soon expecting.

My doctor assured me thatnothing I did caused my miscarriage. Still, I decided not to try to besuperwoman during this pregnancy.  I slowed down. Having this baby wasthe most important thing in my life. “I Would Die For That.”  Not onlydid I not want to do anything to put the pregnancy at risk, I wanted toenjoy it.

A few months into my pregnancy, I started writing andrecording again and it felt different.  The songs came from a deeperplace. It was as if I was being reborn as an artist and as a person asmy baby grew inside me. Most of the final vocals and many of the songson my album Walk On were written and recorded while I was pregnant.

The couple welcomed son Jackson Geoffrey Koch on November 15, 2005. He is now 20 months.

InNovember 2005, I gave birth to my son. The lyrics of the song, “I WouldDie For That” still echo and feel real each time I sing the song.  Nowwhen I sing it, it’s filled less with a haunting personal desperationand more with a complete understanding and empathy for the women whoare still on that journey and have endured far more pain than I have.

While I am still an artist and still pursuing my career, I now knowthat there is nothing more precious to me than my son and I was right — I would die for that.


Source: Kellie Coffey’s Official Site

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Showing 45 comments

Grayson's Girl on

I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning but reading that made me choke up. Her son is gorgeous and he seems to have two wonderful parents who wanted and love him desperately. I’m gonna have to give that song a listen, I have her first single “When you lie next to me” and I still love it. She’s got a wonderful voice. As for her record company, that is so wrong on so many levels it’s ridiculous. I thought we’d come farther than that in all these years of women’s rights.

Nicolie on

Her story completely touched me, and my heart bleeds for anyone struggling with infertility. I admire her for being honest about the music industry’s bias against pregnant women and/or working mothers. Their son is absolutely beautiful, and knowing everything his parents went through to bring him into the world makes him even better.

Candace on

You aren’t the only one whose getting choked up this morning, Grayson’s girl! What a beautiful story.

Christine on

I have tears in my eyes. I’ve been in her shoes. Fertility issues/miscarriages…the whole thing. It hurts so much. I now have a little one who is napping and here I am crying over the story she shared. I wish her family and all the men and women out there struggling with infertility and miscarriages. There is hope.

momtoboys on

being a mother and then losing a child changes you in such a way that is so hard to describe….you understand how special, and what a true blessing a child is in life….to never know that at all is heartbreaking as I could only imagine…Every mother should stop and say thank you for the “dream they helped bring to life” ……………………………

tink1217 on

I have two teenage children and have been trying to have a baby with my 2nd husband for 8 yrs. I have suffered through 9 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy (lost my tube) with no explanation after numerous tests for everything under the sun done on me and my husband. They say…do IVF, get a gestational carrier….these things cost way more than we will ever have so we just don’t think we will ever have a baby together. I recently saw Kelly Coffey’s video on youtube (sent to me by a friend who also has had trouble having her 3rd child and had to ultimately do IVF). I cried my eyes out. Although I have 2 children from my first marriage…my husband has no biological children and we wanted so much to have a child together. It won’t make or break or marriage, but the empty space in my heart is still there. I am so thankful for my kids. Infertility and miscarriage devastate couples. More than anyone realizes. And the treatments are expensive and there is no guarantee. I have gone through major depressions over the years, but pull myself up and go on. I feel for anyone who has trouble conceiving or staying pregnant. It is truly a nightmare.

Amy on

What a powerful song! My 15 month old has been pushing my last nerve the past few days, and watching the video really put things into perspective for me. I am so blessed! I know there are so many people out there who truly would die to have a crazy toddler like mine :) My heart goes out to all of the people who struggle with infertility. It truly is a bitter irony that some of the people who want a child most aren’t able to get pregnant, but those people who don’t even want one end up accidentally getting pregnant.

Tracy on

I don’t know her music, but I am so happy she finally had her son! That was so sad reading about her miscarriage and the way she wrote it really put you in her situation. I wish her and her husband all the luck in the world if they try again for a little brother/sister!

Jackie on

Wow, I just watched the video for that song and I’m still crying. I’ve been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant with no luck. One woman in the video is holding up a sign that says $10,000 for IVF and I think that’s what did it, my husband and I are struggling to come up with that kind of money. It seems so unfair sometimes. I had 2 pituitary tumors and this is what I’m dealing with now.

tink1217 on

Jackie, my heart breaks for you and all women who are struggling with infertility. Like I said, I have 2 teenagers from my first marriage and I feel bad sometimes being so depressed about not being able to have another child. But, I wanted my husband to experience a child of his own from the beginning…the pregnancy, the ultrasounds, the birth, the raising a child from birth, newborn cries, baths, smiles. He has never had that and I so wanted to give that to him. He legally adopted my two when we married. They were 6 and 4.5 at the time. He is their father in every way that really counts, of course. And, it would NEVER affect our marriage…he would never leave me cuz I couldn’t give him a child. BUT, that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. I am sure you know exactly how it feels. We thought about trying IVF, but I keep thinking….I CAN get pregnant…in fact I do pretty easily. I just can’t hold on past 6 weeks. The only one I kept longer was the ectopic…which was terrifying and ended in emergency surgery to save me. Jackie, if there is ANY way you could do IVF I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope it works for you the first time and you are blessed with a beautiful baby!

Michelle Nicole on

Very touching story. You really do not understand it unless you go throught it personally. We have one child that’s a teenager, and I’ve tried for the past 5 years, and no luck. I know I’m being greedy and I should thank God for one that we have, and believe me I do, everyday.

This story just reminds me that miracles can happen. It’s really sad that the treatments are so expensive, and not everyone including myself can afford it. My insurance doesn’t cover it.

I’ll will pray for everyone that’s going through this and has been through this.

God doesn’t give us anything that we can’t bear.

Michelle Nicole

Jackie on

tink1217, now I’m crying again!! Thanks for the words of encouragement. People who don’t understand are always saying to adopt or “Take mine!” and that is so horrible. Adoption costs just as much or more than IVF and offering their kids as a joke is so cruel. We do want biological children, but the goal is parenthood, in anyway that it comes. I’d love the whole pregnancy experience, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter does it? Good luck with trying for another one and it sounds like you’ve got a great husband.

tink1217 on

Michelle Nicole, don’t ever think you are “being greedy”. You are absolutely NOT!!! And, I used to think the same way…God doesn’t give us anything we can’t bear”, but I don’t know if I feel that way anymore. I tend to think “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. I have been through so much in my life…apart from the miscarriages, that leads me to believe, “how strong do I have to be?” But, sometimes I guess, there are no answers.

Steph on

Wow, it is very touching. I have to admit that my biggest fear in life is that I will not be able to have children. I am only 24 and just now getting married next year, but for women who want nothing more than to be mothers (or mothers again) it is a tragedy to have to go through infertility. I feel for all of you and pray WE all will be blessed (or blessed again).

tink1217 on

Jackie, thank you! Yes, he is wonderful to me and to my kids. I am very blessed to have him. For us…well, he has done the adoption thing…with mine. I would be open to it, but he is not. So a biological child is what he wants and if we don’t have one he is ok with it. It started out as him wanting it more than me and now I think the tables have turned! Nevertheless, we will keep trying til I turn 40. If we happen to be able to somehow have IVF and it work then great, but I don’t see it happening. We want to build our dream house in 4 yrs when our son finishes school and that is gonna take our savings. I guess its a matter of what I feel I can and cannot live without at this point. If I were still 25 yrs old I might feel differently. But, at 38…well, I don’t really have a ton of time left. I know women have babies well into their 40′s, but having a baby at 45 isn’t for me. I do wish you all the best!

MommyB on

I think that Kelley is so blessed!! She now has a beautiful reward for all of her struggles!! So I am glad that she hung in there!! And for all of you who are still struggling my thoughts and especially my prayers are with each and every one of you…Hang in there and keep trying!!

Michelle Nicole on

Thank you tink1217 – I really appreciate your words. I hate to keep being asked about having more children. I hate those people who make it seem like having a child is so easy. They say – these in-sensitive things like…. we only tried once, and it was so easy, good for you. It’s not so easy for the rest of us, particulary when we are approaching 40.

I’m at work balling my eyes out, I keep playing the lottery, so I havent’ given up hope.

Good luck to us all and I feel so lucky to have such a great support system.

Who know that secondary infertility existed, I’m hearing this from so many women.

Michelle Nicole

JackieM on

I have struggled with infertility off and on for years. I was fortunate enough to conceive twin girls who are now 3 through many attempts at IVF. I told myself then and now that I was blessed and I could never ask the good LORD for anymore. But yet somewhere along the line, I decided that I needed another child. I had dreamed so long of what it would be like to be pregnant and decorate a nursery and get ready for a baby to come. Yes, I had a baby, but I missed all the preparation as I spent 5 months on bed rest. I sat in the bed down the hall as my husband, mother, father and father-in-law decorated my baby’s nursery. Someone else washed my baby’s clothes, all of which were bougth off the internet because I couldnt shop for them. I so wanted another chance at having all this. So I went through IVF again, i was fortunate enough to become pregnant on the first attempt. From the beginning, something didnt seem right, I could never put my finger on it, but I never felt good. I found it hard to get excited, to be happy and plan for a baby. While my husbnad decided where the nursery was going to be, I resisted. I refused to clean out the room, I refused to prepare. At my 9 week checkup, the dr told me that my babies heart beat was low. The next morning I awoke and i no longer felt the morning sickness, the knot in my stomach that I had had for 9 weeks. My baby was gone. I cried for days but couldnt bring myself to call the dr back for 4 more days. My worst fears came true, my baby had died in utero. A D&C was planned and now I am receovering. I am trying so hard not to cry and just heal but it hurts way too much. To want a baby so much and not have it within your reach. I blame myself, I must have done something wrong. I know they say that isnt so, but one day my baby was alive, the next not. To all those who long for a baby to fill your empty arms, dont give up. Keep faith.

JackieM

tink1217 on

michelle nicole, I feel so bad with you crying at work! I’ve been there so many times! I look at my cousin, who has 3 kids and doesn’t take care of them half the time and I just wanna shake her!! Seriously, I have a hard time with stuff like that! I had never heard of 2dary infertility until I started having problems. And what kills me is I can get pregnant! It’s like…”Here…you are pregnant…no wait…not so fast!” And then its over. A cruel joke! Its exactly what it feels like. I didn’t used to have such a great support system. For about 4 yrs my entire family was against us having a child together because of my son (he is autistic and mentally challenged and has a seizure disorder which is well controlled). They figured I had “enough to deal with” or that I would somehow “forget about him” if I had another. Nothing could be further from the truth and I always thought he would actually benefit from having a younger sibling(he is the baby). Not until the last couple of years has my family come around. It was hard going through all the miscarriages alone without my mom’s suport. All I had was my husband, really. I can’t tell you how much I love the man. He is my rock.

dreamz521 on

watching this video made me cry. my husband and i had a miscarriage nov 29 2006 and have yet to conceive again. this song fits perfectly

dreamz521 on

watching this video made me cry. my husband and i had a miscarriage nov 29 2006 and have yet to conceive again. this song fits perfectly

gabriella on

Tink, Michellenicole, and jackie my heart goes out to you guys, and I hope things work out for all of you ladies.

terri on

Oh wow, that story really touched me. I’m 29 and still single and childless. I certainly hope to get married and have kids, but I know that if I would have problems having a child the same thoughts of guilt would go through my head. Oh well, I leave it in God’s hands.

nicksmomma on

Awww..you guys..all of you are making me get all emotional now too. This song is beautiful, isn’t it? My husband and I married in 1997 and we both knew we weren’t ready for children then. So, we didn’t even attempt to try for a baby until mid 2001 and like most people, I just sort of assumed it’d be easy for me to conceive. I mean, at that time, I had just turned 25 and was seeing my OBGYN regularly and she gave me a thorough checkup and gave us the OK to start trying. About 6 months in, we still hadn’t gotten pregnant. I was still trying to remain calm, but it seemed like EVERYONE I worked with (most that I didn’t even know were even trying for a baby) were getting pregnant left and right at that time too!) and then came the final blow at Christmas that year…my sister in law announced to everyone that she was pregnant. I was happy for her, but my heart sank! We bought an ovulation kit and used that in January and February of 2002 and found out on March the 12th that I was pregnant! That was the 2nd best day of my life (the BEST being the day our son was born) I had a good pregnancy up until my 6th month when I developed toxemia and had to be put on bedrest and then my I was induced 3 1/2 weeks early, labored for 10 hours, made it to 10 centimeters and pushed for 2 1/2 hours and he wasn’t coming down into the birth canal. So, they rushed me in for an emergency C-section and got him out just fine, but my uterus wouldn’t contract back like it was supposed to do, and I lost half of the blood in my body. My Dr. thought she was going to have to perform a emergency hysterectomy on me, but at the last minute, my uterus started contracting, and it was saved. He is now 4 1/2 and for the past 2 years, I have had ALOT of cysts and polyps removed from my uterus and just found out a month and a half ago that the last two cysts they removed came back as pre-cancerous and cancerous. So, now they are talking a hysterctomy anyway. So, my son will be the only child we are able to have.
We are 100% satisfied with him, and feel totally blessed to have even gotten him. I can sympathize with you guys that cannot conceive, because that was our biggest fear when I didn’t get pregnant with my son at first. Just keep trying, and never give up until you know for sure that you can’t do it. I was determined to never give up.
It just didn’t seem fair to us that we couldn’t conceive a baby after waiting all those years until we were financially able to afford one when all these other people just don’t seem to care and have babies one right after the other and they don’t even get taken care of most of the time, but unfortunately that is usually the way it happens..all too often. I will keep all of you that are still having problems in my prayers..and remember, never give up.

Adore on

My husband and I are trying to conceive again. We were going through fertility treatments when we got pregnant June 06. My first, his second. We were both so excited considering I was 35 and had never been pregnant before. In September 06, I miscarried. I was devastated. It’s coming up on that one year anniversary of our loss. I am excited to know that I can at least GET pregnant. I just hope I’m blessed again and it’s fuly successful. We’re waiting to get our finances back up to par in order to seek fertility treatments again. This song and video has touched me in so deep a way because it hits so close to home. But I know that I know when the time is right, it will happen for us. I believe 2008 is our year!!

Heather on

I sit here with tears of sorrow and tears of joy(for Kellie) and it is something that my husband and I are struggling with right now. Almost 4 years and finally we are in a fertility clinic. The feelings of failure as a woman, the “how come’s, and the why me’s” are consistently being asked right now as we are on our journey.
When you see everyone else around you becoming pregnant and getting the family that they can “just have” you can feel left out, isolated and alone… I hope and pray that we will be blessed with a miracle someday and I think that because of all that we have gone through to get there will make us that much more appreciative of what we have.
**babydust**

Morgann on

wow! the article was great and touching but the video actually made me cry. We’ve been trying for over a year w/ one miscarriage and this really touches me. thank you.

Kimberly on

I am only 23 and single, but due to a condition called Turner’s Syndrome, where a female is born with one X chromosome instead of 2, I have no ovarian function and cannot have biological children. You can learn more about the condition here: http://www.turnersyndrome.org/
Anyway, I find it really hard to know I can never give my partner a biological child if I get married, and I can really relate to Kellie’s Song….

Brandy on

Kimberly,
I am the mother of a daughter with Turners. I have found it difficult to talk about with her. Any advice?

Brandy on

Kimberly,

My daughter is 6 and has TS. Due to so many complications we knew about it almost from birth.I don’t really know what I’m asking you. I know there is the TS site (which can be overwhelming), confrences far away, and my child, Erin, has role models and friends. It’s just that I would like her to grow up knowing she is not alone, there are other women and girls like her who are smart, pretty, and capable of almost anything. So far we have had two really bad experience contacting someone. If all else it would be nice to ask a person who really knows how it felt to grow up with TS about things. I often wonder if I’m doing the right things. Please write back even if it is to let me know that your not interested in talking. just so I know you got my message. Brandy alternetego@hotmail.com also I don’t know if this makes a difference but I am around your age I have a myspace site, and you could see pictures of me and Erin. Just so you know we are not some weirdos. Just search for Brandy Lee or Jason Lee I’m not sure which it is under

Elisabeth on

My husband and I have tried to conceive our first for nearly 2 years now. Its so painful. Thank goodness for adoption! matching DNA isn’t everything. While it would be nice to be pregnant have all that fun stuff during the pregnancy I know it isn’t everything. We are currently using a fertility monitor in hopes that we will soon get pregnant. Its hard I have had 30 neg pregnancy tests. Thank goodness for adoption. One thing I want to say is that costs of adoption being high depends on the type of adoption and the help you receive. My sister had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 23, 2 years after she gave birth to her first child. Now she is the mommy to a second child born into our family through adoption. She is also a foster mom. A friend of mine had some medical conditions that made it impossible for her to conceive. She is now the proud momma of a little boy from india. They received help from an organization called Shoahannah’s Hope. They were given a grant which paid for $2,000 of the costs. Also check if your state has a tax credit (in my state its $11,000) They now owe just $2,000 on the rest of the $16,000 adoption bill and they had 4 years to pay that off. Some states even waive adoption fees if the child is a foster child. Then there is the negitive side to my husband and I’s situation empty arms. It is unbelievably painful. To be unsure if you will ever hear the words mommy, or watch your child play with the box on christmas morning when you spent $90 for what was inside, never baking a birthday cake, taking your child to the zoo or disney world. I so want to have a car seat in the back of my car. To take them to school on their first day and have cookies ready for them when they get home. I am a member of a wonderful group at parents.com, I am there everyday. Its a message board called baby making 101. There are a lot of supportive women there. A lot of times they are the reason I get out of bed in the morning so I can read their wonderful notes. Also if you are going through a similar situation or want to adopt or anything, feel free to email me @ eabdeb8176@aol.com.

Ellie on

heyy,
my name is ellie and i wanted to let you know that i love your songs and your voice. my favourite song is texas plates (the guy is good looking and the girls were very preety) please write to me back
your best fan Ellie xox

MArianke on

Awesome song – comes close to my heart.
My husband and I have been trying for our first child for almost 2 years without any luck. Tests show that nothing is wrong with either of us, so you start to wonder what is the problem then? As a woman you really start to doubt yourself, and feel “broken”. Last month was the most difficult one. I was 10 days late and I never ever been this late, and then on that 10th day, I got my period. I felt so dissapointed.
I’ve got a lot, and I can say A LOT of friends of mine that are pregnant, or just had their baby, and during their pregnancies, they always complain and I keep thinking by myself “I would do anything, just to have what you have, the morning sickness, the swollen ankles, feeling bloated,….I would do anything, to have just that what you are complaining about”.

My family knowing that we are trying doesn’t help, I appreciate the prayers, they are very welcome, but the constant asking, makes me feel pressured. I am a Military Spouse, on top of that, very proud of my husband, but as I am nearing 27, and look at the Soldiers in our unit and their Spouses, we seem to be the only ones that are not parents. Which is hard on family functions, when parenting and pregnancies come up all the time. I have been avoiding most of those in the past half year.
I think the average age of having kids as a Military Spouse is 20. If I look at all the Military Spouses and Girlfriends that are pregnant right now. I wouldn’t want to have kids that young either, but I am definately ready now! I definately am happy for those that can get pregnant just like that, just being in that environment, makes it harder for those that can’t.

All I can do is pray and hope, that someday, God will hear our prayers and that He will bless us with our own Miracle.

My prayers go out to those who endure problems with conceiving.

Marianke
Proud US Army Wife

brittney on

MArianke

I just read your story. sounds familiar. My husband and I trieds for 4+ years fort he first almost 4 years we were also unexplained infertility. It was horrible. Not knowing what was wrong. Sometimes I would just pray they would find something so we would know what we were dealing with.

I was finally (after 3-4 docs and a specialist) diagnosed with PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Synrdome) It is very hard to diagnose and there is no clear test you can take that says “yes” you have it or “no” you dont. I had 3 docs that said they thought I had it but wouldnt diagnose. 7 months after being diagnosed and 5 months after going to a fertility specialist I found myself Pregnant. My son will be 6 months tomorrow.
If you want to talk please feel free to email me br_oden@msn.com. Oh I am 28 and canr elate with the whole family functions etc. Family is a huge part of my church and my life. I was hard to go through. And even having my son sometimes the hurt is still there. It was twins and we lost one. I am so grateful that we were able to have the one.

Take care, I have been there, you are in my prayers.
Brittney
“Oinfertile 1″

Nicole R on

I’m crying my eyes out after that song. I’m so happy for Kelley and hope I too can one day be in her shoes at present time. I’m 24 and my husband and I have been trying for nearly two years to get pregnant. After tests and consults and lots of needles and medication it finally happened last month! Only to have a miscarriage a few days later. :( Our Dr. wants us to do IVF but we can’t afford it and our state isn’t mandated to have insurance cover any treatment. I don’t know what’s to happen. A diagnosis of “Unexplained Infertility” is so hard to cope with. I want so badly to be a mom and to make my husband a Dad. I just feel so broken.

Nicole R on

I’m crying my eyes out after that song. I’m so happy for Kelley and hope I too can one day be in her shoes at present time. I’m 24 and my husband and I have been trying for nearly two years to get pregnant. After tests and consults and lots of needles and medication it finally happened last month! Only to have a miscarriage a few days later. :( Our Dr. wants us to do IVF but we can’t afford it and our state isn’t mandated to have insurance cover any treatment. I don’t know what’s to happen. A diagnosis of “Unexplained Infertility” is so hard to cope with. I want so badly to be a mom and to make my husband a Dad. I just feel so broken.

Livi on

This song is a very powerful song to me!Me and my husband lost a baby in 2001 and it was the most devistating thing in this world. For the past 6 years we have tried off and on with much tears and anxious feelings along with fertility treatments and prayers and i cant help but to feel alittle hopeless deep inside but i feel like this next year the lord is going to be on myside and actually give me my big dream–TO become a mommy. It is the one thing i want so much in life so i will keep on praying not only for myself but the other women in my shoes. GOd bless!

maureen on

The song is very powerful. I consider my three kids my greatest gifts in life. I know for certain I would be not even half the person I am if it were not for them. I wasn’t supposed to be able to have any. So when each time came that the doctor said I was, I waited for the other shoe to drop. I feel lucky and blessed to have my three kids. They are my greatest achievements in life.

Sara on

My husband and I tried for 4 years to have a baby. We tried multiple IUI’s, IVF’s and FET’s. We took out a second mortgage on our house. We went through 5 fertility experts. Each one promised they could help, but after a little while sadly shook their heads and encouraged us to face “reality.” The sadness and depression was excruciating. Finally – 10 months ago – I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Every ounce of what I went through was worth it. Please know that if you are trying – don’t give up – it CAN happen – I am proof of that. The odds for me were so very bleak. If it happened for us, it can happen for you. The best to you all!!!

Donita on

I’ve been looking everywhere for new music by Kellie. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled on “I Would Die for That” on YouTube! I was thrilled. The song is beautiful and so moving. I’ve been there, and it’s truly a very horrible pain. Four years after I lost my first baby, I conceived and now I’m the mother of 2 grown children. Welcome back, Kellie! What a way to do it!

Angie on

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over four years and we have had one ectopic. I have blocked tubes and we too struggled with the cost of IVF. Then we read about frozen embryo adoption. That is where you can be matched with a donor who has extra embryos left over from their IVF procedures and have those embryos placed into your uterus. If one of the embryos implants that baby is yours. You get to experience the joy of being pregnant and can also control the nutrition that baby gets as he/she grows. We haven’t found a donor yet (we are going through our Reproductive Endocrinologist) but the waiting list is an average of six months, sometimes less, so that isn’t too bad. A lot of people don’t know about frozen embryo adoption, so I like to bring an awareness of it to others as a way of hope. This kind of adoption costs way less than IVF if your RE offers this program and you go through him/her. Too many adoption agencies who offer this charge way too much, in my opinion. Adopting this way through our RE was $7,000 – $9,000 LESS than going through an adoption agency. There are several web sites dedicated to finding frozen embryos and the adoption itself. Search Google. There are actually people who have given birth to adopted embryos and if more people tried it the success rates would go higher.

Bearcat on

As an adoptive mother of two children, I have been through much of what many of you describe, and I gently ask this question of all of you:

Do you want to be a mummy, or do you want to be pregnant?

For most of us, it’s the first… And so, with my two angelic children running around me right now, I wonder every day: How can you love a child more than totally?

I know that everyone takes the path they need to, but I beg all of you to leave behind the grief of infertility and embrace the hope that comes with adoption.

Brette on

I was diagnosed with MRKH last December, which means i don’t have a uterus, and obviously if you don’t have a uterus you can’t conceive a child. Anyway. So many different things in this story remind me of me. Not necessarily specifics, but definitely just reminders. The video was awesome, but sooo sad! I’ll definitely be sharing it on my myspace…

Maria on

Hello,

My name is Maria, I’m 42 years old, and Catholic. I was married on June 16th 2007 when I was almost 41. My husband is two years older than me. We both ADORE children and want some of our own. We have been trying ever since we were married. We haven’t had any success.

I had issues with ovarian cysts and needed surgery. I had the surgery on Feb. 12th, 2007. Imagine being told by your surgeon right after your surgery, after being a daycare teacher for nineteen years and wanting to be a Mother your whole life, that you have severe endometriosis and you might be infertile! That’s exactly what happened to me. Before the surgery I had no clue that I had endometriosis. As a matter of fact years ago when I complained about the painful periods, my doctor told me to “take three Aleve”. She also told me before I was married when we were discussing my cycle that she thought I was “fertile myrtle” and I’d have no problem getting pregnant. YSR!

We are still struggling to improve my health with the endometriosis and my fertile. I have tried everything from taking every vitamin under the sun, drinking green tea, giving up sugar and caffeine, and losing twenty pounds. Every month I pray and hope and every month I’m disapointed.

I want to be a good Catholic Mom so much and be able to do all the things a good Mom does. I pray the rosary for a child (I prayed the rosary for a husband and found him!), I pray novenas, ect. My heart feels sad and my arms ache to hold a child.

When I was a daycare teacher in the toddler room for nineteen years (in the city I grew up in) I was told by many Mothers that I was their favorite teacher and what a good Mom I’d be someday. I think I’d make a good Mom too, but still no baby.

Maybe some of you could say a little prayer (or maybe a rosary for me please?) that we will be blessed with a child? Please? I’d really appreciate it so much!!

P.S. I’d really LOVE to hear from others who are also suffering from endometriosis and infertility especially those who were able to concieve! I need some hope and some encouragement please!
Thank you so much!

marialehan4608@aol.com

May God Bless all of you.
Maria (who cried when she heard that song for the first time today)

melissa on

You know I have herd the song over and over and every time I hear it is always makes me cry cus it is how I feel I would die for that and people just don’t understand about the pain and agony that we go thru. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and it is where you don’t ovulate very well and it has been a very trying time to get this way and when I hear this song I cry but it also makes me think as well it is a very trying time all the money we have put into this to try and get prego I sometimes often think will it ever happen I am beginning to wonder.

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