Jessica Rowe: Ashamed to admit PPD

Australian TV presenter Jessica Rowe has admitted that she felt ashamed to reveal that she was battling postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, daughter, Allegra Penelope, in January. Jessica, who is married to fellow TV personality Peter Overton, said that the events with Channel Nine, as well as going through IVF, led to her decline after the birth.

Jessica revealed her battle with PPD after naming beyondblue as her charity for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars, saying that,

[I] had to be true to myself and admit I’d suffered (from post-natal depression). At first I had planned to put it behind me. I’d recovered and wanted to move forward. [I] tried to ignore the symptoms, which [I] knew were more than just sleep deprivation and the normal hormone changes women encounter after giving birth. I was getting very anxious. I felt out of control. I worried about everything, like whether she’d get a cold – but beyond normal levels. I also had trouble breast-feeding. It also shocked me that I felt so ashamed of admitting it. Of not coping.

After dealing with her mother’s bipolar disorder, Jessica knew that she would need the help and support of  her family as well as special doctors and groups.

If I hadn’t done that, my recovery process would have been so much longer.

More than anything Jessica said she felt ashamed because this was a child for whom she had so long desired.

I felt ashamed. How could I feel like this when I finally had this beautiful treasure?’

Source: Daily Telegraph

Did you suffer from PPD after the birth of any of your children? If so, did you find it hard to admit? Please share your stories in the comments if you wish to.

Comments

I went through PPD with my second child, Sofia. It was awful. I am a labor doula, so I know a lot about pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum adjustment, and I was still caught by surprise. I didn’t realize that anxiety was a symptom. I have a wonderful husband, my older daughter was 5 years old, I had a great job with maternity benefits, breastfeeding was going well, and I had my mother living next door. I was all set and it still hit me and hit me hard. I am all about solving problems, so I talked to my midwife, got medication and talked to a therapist, once I realized what was going on and accepted that it was PPD. That took me about three weeks.

It was awful, but I am stronger now than I was before. I went on to have a third baby, my son Henry, and did not have problems with PPD. I was more careful about asking for help and getting rest and not beating myself up emotionally when I felt normal postpartum hormonal blues.

- Amy on July 24th, 2007

I’m not sure if I had PPD or baby blues, or if they’re the same thing. It lasted about six weeks and I cried every single day. I had a very difficult emergency c-section with some complications and had some family trouble afterwards (unsupportive parents who didn’t understand what I was going through and took it personally) –which seemed to make the PPD worse.

Like I said, I’m not sure when post-baby hormonal swings qualify as PPD, if they have to go on for a certain amount of time or be of a specific severity. I felt very depressed and overwhelmed and a little disconnected from my baby. I never felt about harming myself or the baby, but I thought about running away a lot. I also kept telling people I felt like the worst mother in the world.

My husband was very concerned about me having PPD and I was a little ashamed to admit it and wanted to take a wait-and-see approach. Luckily, it cleared up on it’s own after six weeks and I’ve felt fine ever since. If it hadn’t, I really wonder how long it would have taken me to seek help.

- PSB on July 24th, 2007

I had never struggled with anxiety or depression until a week after the birth of my 1st child. I became a wreck – not a crying one, but totally numb from anxiety – I couldn’t eat (and if I did, I’d throw up – doesn’t feel great when you’re healing!). I lost 20 lbs in two weeks. I was struggling with breastfeeding and feeling very very inadequate, and wandered into a lactation storefront, and they immediately noticed that there was something wrong with me (since I had just attended a BF class three weeks prior and been my usual bubbly self). I did go get help and was so fortunate to only have to deal with people who were incredibly supportive and knew that something was seriously wrong. I was concerned that this would happen after the delivery of my second child, and I had a different OB and General doctor, so I warned them, so that we would have a plan in place if it happened again. It did – of course – but it wasn’t as scary. I’d been through it before, I knew what I needed to do to feel better, and again, I was surrounded by supportive people. I had a husband who hugged me whenever I looked panicked or anxious and assured me that I was not crazy and it WOULD get better. I also have a mother who dealt with many of the same issues, and had lots of ideas and techniques for calming me down. I know that if I decide to have a third (and final!) baby, I have the confidence behind me of two experiences with PPD, and that I weathered them both and came out on top.

- Carrie on July 24th, 2007

I had PPD after the birth of my second child but I didn’t know anything about PPD back then. He was born 23 years ago. I just didn’t know what was wrong with me. I had a lot of physical symptoms as well as anxiety and irritability so I just thought I had some mystery illness that no one could diagnose. Unfortunately after a year of feeling like this, I had a breakdown and it wasn’t until then that I was treated with antidepressants.

- Kresta on July 24th, 2007

I had PPD with both of my children. They are 15 months apart. I knew that what I was feeling after my first child was not normal for me. I had read a lot about PPD so I was aware of the symptoms. My OB/GYN prescribed Zoloft for me and it worked wonders. I was on Zoloft for 3 months with my first child and back on it again for 2 months with my second child. I followed the doctor’s recommendation of weaning myself off the Zoloft and I was back to normal..what ever normal means as a new Mom. My OB/GYN also recommended counseling which also helped. I agree with PSB above. I had all the same symptoms as she did. But, I was too afraid to see if and when the symptoms would go away so I sought help immediately. And I’m glad that I did.

- Josie on July 24th, 2007

I tried for my daughter for 8 long years. We did everything including but not limited to IVF. I thought that getting pregnant would be the answer to everything. I was hospitalized at 30 weeks with pre-eclampsia where I remained until my daughters birth at 35 weeks. I knew within 2 weeks that something was seriously wrong. I felt out of control, was so anxious and afraid of the baby. I felt disconnected from everything and like my life was over. It was horrible to hear some of the reactions of my family. I was told to just snap out of it more than once. Thank God my husband is a Saint and thank God I recognized that I needed help. After a trip to the ER (had not slept for 7 days) I was hospitalized in a psych ward (totally horrible) after that with therapy/drugs and a support group I recovered quite quickly.

There is a lot of shame with PPD. People don’t understand. It is not about the baby. Especially when you have gone through infertility. This is what you wanted. However, I found that going through infertility puts you at a much higher risk of PPD. The great news about PPD is that it is totally treatable and does not mean you are a bad person or don’t love your child. It is a total chemical thing.

- Stacy on July 24th, 2007

I didn’t have PPD, but I’ve suffered from depression since my teens, and shame is very much a part of it. Even though I know better, every time I go through a black spell I feel like I ought to be able to fight it off without help. Realistically, I know it’s a chronic condition like needing glasses (which I do), but I still battle it. I can only imagine that PPD would be much worse — mix in the hormones, the exhaustion of a new baby. I truly cannot imagine it.

Bravo to Jessica for speaking out, just like Brooke Shields. The shame needs to be taken away.

- madam pince on July 24th, 2007

I never sought medical attention for it, but I’m sure I suffered PPD after the birth of my twins. I was exhausted and stressed out at the time. I remember crying a lot and I felt like crap for the first few months. I would advise anyone who goes through something similar to talk to their doctor. I really wish I had because it would have made things a lot more pleasant.

- TwinMom on July 24th, 2007

I am pregnant with my first and because I have suffered with anxiety my whole life, my counselor feels that I am a very high risk for PPD. I am scared and feel that it probably will happen to me (also based on the extreme anxiety I have been experiencing throughout my pregnancy)but I feel that at least many people are aware and will be looking out for me. My husband is incredibly supportive and has been amazing helping me through my anxiety. Hopefully everyone will be wrong and I will not get PPD, I plan to start medicine (I was previously taking medicine before I was pregnant for my anxiety and stopped taking it while I have been pregnant, so I want to go back on it anyways) AS soon as I deliver, so hopefully maybe that will make the difference.

- Diana on July 25th, 2007

For anyone who wants to learn more about antenatal or postnatal depression, http://www.beyondblue.org.au is a wonderful resource full of information.

- Jane Gardner on August 5th, 2008