British star Jade Goody calls miscarriage 'God's punishment'

Jade Goody recently said she wonders if her miscarriage at 12-weeks is actually ‘God’s punishment‘ for her role in an ugly spat with fellow Celebrity Big Brother contestant Shilpa Shetty, at the height of which racial slurs were used.  Said Jade:

After losing the baby I thought I’d never recover.  After the miscarriage I did ask:  ‘Why is all this happening?’  I thought it was God’s punishment for something I’d done. 

Jade has two children, 3 1/2-year-old Bobby Jack and 2 1/2-year-old Freddie, with her ex-boyfriend Jeff Brazier.  The baby Jade miscarried was her first with boyfriend Jack Tweed.   

Source:  Closer Diets (UK) via Manchester.com

Thanks to CBB reader Aline.

Comments

I can definitely relate. I suffered a missed miscarriage at 10w1d, and I was absolutely devastated. I felt like I was being punished for something and just couldn’t figure out what it was that I was being punished for. I think it is a pretty natural part of grief.

- Melissa on July 10th, 2007

I wish she wouldn’t go down this road. I am very sorry she miscarried and my heart goes out to her, but please don’t pull the “God’s punishment” card. I too had a miscarriage, as have many other women, and I really doubt we were all being put in our place by God.

- daphneesmith on July 10th, 2007

I dont think she should excuse her racism in this manner.

- Kiki on July 10th, 2007

Religious beliefs and feelings of grief aside, this can be examined using really simple logic. There are lots of women out there who have done terrible things, and have not miscarried. There are women who have not done anything particularly serious and have had miscarriages. There are women in both of these categories who miscarried and saw it as a blessing, not a punishment.
Or those who wanted to miscarry and didn’t, and saw the birth as a punishment.

My condolences to her, though. I understand how difficult it is to think rationally when you’re under a lot of stress.

- Katz on July 10th, 2007

How sad that some women have to believe that God punishes. My belief is that God loves and that God teaches. He does not punish. We as humans have every bit of free will. That is gift from God. She should use this sad part of her life as a learning lesson and be grateful for the child that almost was and for the children she already has.

- Josie on July 10th, 2007

First off, Josie, you didn’t mention having lost a child, so I’ll assume for my answer, you haven’t lost a child or a pregnancy. Unless you have been there, you have no room to speak about what she should or should not do. Losing a pregnancy is something that can only be in one’s worst nightmare. How people react to it is anyone’s guess and a completely personal thing. So, unless you are perfect, I think you should get off your high horse and understand she went through something so horribly life shattering and deserves to think irrationally at this time.

I can totally identify with Jade. In January, when I was almost 5 months pregnant, I lost my twin boys (Brady and Connor), 9 days apart. They were monoamniotic twins and they just got tangled. Nothing more simple or heartbreaking than that. I already have one little boy, Jordan (born 2-9-06) and love him so very much. Those twins took nothing away from my love for him. But, when I lost my twins, I thought it was my fault. I remembered the fear I felt when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I thought, “If I had just not been so scared when they first told me, maybe they would have lived.” I thought, “If I hadn’t done this or that, maybe it would have been different.” I thought, “Maybe if I had just waited a couple of months more to get pregnant, that particular egg wouldn’t have been the one that came down and maybe wouldn’t have split, and I would have one healthy baby, instead of two angels I’ll never see until I die.”

Losing those babies was the hardest thing I have ever done and dealt with in my life. Irrationally is the norm, not the exception. People that have no idea what Jade went through should really be more sensitive in their comments about her loss.

- Nicole on July 10th, 2007

I was born with Spina Bifida, and I too have wondered what I did to made God so angry that he would do this to me! My mother also felt she was being punished when I was born. The feeling isn’t limited to miscarriages.

my condoloscenes to Jade and her family.

- MuffThumb on July 10th, 2007

Nicole-I am so sorry.

- Melissa 7/7/78 on July 10th, 2007

Nicole, I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragic accident.

I think everyone who suffers a miscarriage can’t help but find a reason why. To find logic in something that defies it. I know I did. After the 4th loss, I resigned myself to the fact it wasn’t going to happen for us.

- Principesa on July 10th, 2007

I’m so very sorry to all of you who have had miscarriages. Losing a child at any age, time, or gestation has to be the most horrible thing a parent can endure. Many blessings to you all.

- Grayson's Girl on July 10th, 2007

Josie I agree.. your comment was insulting to me as well. I too had a miscarriage in Jan 05. My son was born at 18 weeks dead and I too have spent many nights afterwards racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong to be punished for such a thing.

Sure.. I feel blessed to have carried him for the time I did but to call it a gift from God? Sorry but I don’t think so.

Going through a loss you feel and think things that can seem completely irrational to others who have not suffered such an intense loss.

- Sarah on July 10th, 2007

I can definately relate.

We lost our Baby on 2/24/06 at 7 1/2 weeks and I still sometimes think, “If I would have known sooner, maybe my baby would have lived. Maybe if I wouldn’t have ridden that roller coaster before I found out. Maybe if I had been a better person…” Just this Sunday night, I was thinking about our loss and wondering what if…

I did and still do believe and KNOW that God is love, and have a personal relationship with Him, but in moments like that, you try to find a REASON as to why it happened and you question everything you ever believed in. I thought that maybe He was punishing me for sinning. I thought it was MY fault. You just try to make sense of it all.

I knew that everything happens for a reason, but when you are put in that situation, it’s hard to remember what you already know. It’s hard to think rationally.

I can definately relate to her.

- RoRo on July 10th, 2007

Kiki – I don’t think that she is excusing her racism. Excusing her racism with this would be, “It’s okay if I’m racist because God already punished me by ‘taking’ my baby.”

That’s not what she’s saying here. She’s saying that she thinks God might be punishing her actions by “taking” her Baby.

- RoRo on July 10th, 2007

The Church of England have released a statement about it

http://www.whatsontv.co.uk/news/1364

- Sarah on July 10th, 2007

I don’t think Josie meant to offend anyone. I too have had a miscarriage and I agree with her comments. I reasoned the baby I never had wasn’t developing properly and my body responded in a natural way I could not control. Its short journey still had meaning to me and will never be forgotten. I dont think about the life that never was because that was its life.

- tigra on July 10th, 2007

I am APPALLED that you are all lashing out at someone for simply stating her feelings about loss and grief.

First of all, you do not know her at all, and you have no reason to assume anything about her life.

Second, just becuase all of you have felt this particular type of loss does NOT mean that you are the only people allowed an oppinion, and it also does not undermine any type of pain or loss she has ever felt.

I find it very hard to believe that there is anyone on this website that hasn’t felt tragedy. And as that we all have an oppinion about how we deal with it.

Frankly when I read that I also was upset. It breaks my heart to hear someone blame themselves and/or Gd for their suffering. That’s way too close for my own comfort, to those who say Katrina was Gds wrath on America.

I’m not, and I’m assuming Josie was also not trying to attack people for their feelings, but rather voice how self-distructive thinking like that is. (She said “sad”, which usually means ‘sorrowfull’ not ‘pathetic’)

I thought the people in here were better than that.

- margaux on July 10th, 2007

I have miscarried many times for unknown reasons but also have 3 lovely healthy daughters. I grieved my losses but never once felt I was being punished by Karma or God, it just wasn’t those precious souls times here yet for whatever reason. I know the pain of this kind of loss never leaves. My heart is with each and every one of you who know too well the agony of losing a unborn baby.

- de on July 10th, 2007

As I stated above, I too thought I was being punished for something. After my miscarriage, I fell into a very deep depression. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I was in complete darkness. Did I blame God? Yes. How could He do this to me? How could he give children to undeserving parents but not to me? It was all part of my depression. I wouldn’t have normally felt that way, but I was lost. I was devastated, and I felt things that I had never felt before. It was the worst time in my life.

Don’t judge someone for saying that she felt as though she was being punished. Until you have lost a child, then you don’t know. You can’t understand the thought process that a person goes through, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I have since found clarity and the darkness has lifted, and others suffering from similar tragedies will in due time as well.

- Melissa on July 10th, 2007

I don’t believe Josie meant to offend anyone, just offered her opinion on losing a much-anticipated child. I personally don’t believe that God punishes parents by taking a baby.

I hope that all of you who have suffered the loss of a not-yet-born child will eventually find peace.

- madam pince on July 10th, 2007

This post is the prime example of what I talked about in the “A reminder about our comment policy” thread; readers love to jump on others simply for stating their personal opinions, and it is obnoxious. So Josie isn’t allowed to have and share her opinion because she supposedly hasn’t had a miscarriage herself, is that right? Well, then, has anyone judging Josie had an abortion? No? How dare you have an opinion on abortion. Has anyone judging Josie fought in the Iraq War? No? How dare you have an opinion on the Iraq War. Have you had enough, or should I continue? Because we could be here all night.

Margaux, you said exactly what I was thinking. The fact that a reader calmly and politely stated her opinion on a certain topic (which she has every right to do) and received such judgement in return is appalling. Josie, I hope you realize that you did nothing wrong and continue to post here, even when people disagree with you. It is your right to do so; don’t let other people take it away from you.

- Lauren on July 10th, 2007

I don’t understand how she was using this to excuse her racism? I missed that.

I think everyone grieves in different ways. It’s not about being right or wrong. I’m sorry for her loss.

- terri on July 10th, 2007

This is such a sad post. And honestly I think the title should be changed. As I read this, she did not in fact call her miscarriage “God’s punishment”… she simply stated that since it’s happened she’s found herself asking/wondering if God was punishing her for something she’d done wrong. She even said “after the miscarriage” that she “thought” it was God’s punishment which seems to imply that perhaps she’s gotten past that.

I personally know many women who’ve felt this very thing from both miscarriages and from parents who’ve lost their children (children they gave birth to and raised who died from an illnesses) who have questioned at one time or another whether God was punishing them for something.

We never say that they call the death of their child “God’s punishment”… because that’s not what they’re doing.

- Rachel K on July 10th, 2007

I think josie was stating that it’s gods gift for giving us free will not gods gift of giving or taking a baby away. You all need to chill and stop being so quick and really READ and let it sit in and try to understnad rather then jump the gun and look like a fool. I too feel sad for those of you have miscarried and had still births. It is an incredibly sad time. I also hope that you all find peace and have some understanding and not try to hurt yourselves more by wondering why. In situations like these you come up with all sorts of scenarios of coulda, woulda, shoulda and putting questions out there with no answers is never an effective way of coping.I’ve dealt with depression and until i accepted my circumstances and learned to move on in a healthy way and not throw out questions doubting my choices and the life that was given to me i was able to get out. Like someone above said be grateful for the child that almost was and thankful for the children you have. Peace and Understanding to all!

- Chil on July 11th, 2007

I think what those who have not experienced a loss do not realise that logic disappears when you’re faced with the ultimate grief.

I’m sure most people would not think that God punishes in most situations, but when you experience something like the loss of a child, things change and it’s more common than not for the grieving party to blame. More often than not, this blame tends to unjustly rest with themselves “I did this, so this is why I’ve lost a baby..”

I think most people will be cross at God for “making” them lose a child and putting them through the worst times of their lives – any type of severe grief actually. I don’t think thoughts are rational at such a time.

I can totally see where Jade is coming from, and I’m very sorry for her. No one deserves to go through this, whatever they may have done in the past. I certainly don’t think she’s excusing the racism.

- Ruth on July 11th, 2007

RoRo, I lost my baby the same day as you. I was 8 weeks. It was also the day I found out I was pregnant. Was a pretty heavy going day

- ChereeM on July 11th, 2007

Lauren, I totally agree with you.

- sil on July 11th, 2007

I’m sorry she lost the baby – but the miscarriage has nothing to do with her disgusting display of racism. The two are totally unrelated. I’ve had multiple miscarriages and it’s simply a case of my body not being able to sustain a pregnancy.

- amelie on July 11th, 2007

I myself have had 2 miscarriages, back to back. Did I wonder why it happened? Of course. Was I devastated? Absolutely. Did I wonder if God was punishing me? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I totally agree with Josie. I too believe that that God loves and that God teaches. He does not punish. We as humans have every bit of free will, and that is gift from God. Yes you do try to find the “why” when something like this happens, but sometimes we never find it, and we need to accept that. Even though we may not know the reason why, God does, and that should be good enough. Yes, it is hard, absolutely, but that is where faith comes in. Those of you bashing Josie because you assume she has never had a miscarriage and does not understand the grief of it all need to step back and realize that not all of us who HAVE had miscarriages think the way you do. Some of us do seek and find love and comfort from God, so please stop lumping us all together with your way of thinking!

- Maria on July 11th, 2007

Statistics estimate that about 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. God’s punishment? Yikes, that god must be angry and doing a whole lot of punishing. The god that I believe in doesn’t punish as such. But then again I don’t believe that “everything happens for a reason”. Sometimes, things just happen. And I feel sad for those who believe in a god that would do such punishing.

- madison on July 11th, 2007

Wow! I apologize for offending anyone with my comment who has miscarried. My intention was not to offend but instead was to state that Jade should not call this tragedy in her life, “a punishment from God.” All I was stating is that I believe that God does not punish. My belief and in the spiritual teachings that I follow, “punishment from God” is created by man. Not God.
And, for your information, I have had a miscarriage followed by 2 beautiful children that I’m eternally grateful for. Again, I apologize to anyone I may have offended with my comment that was written with compassion and love.

- Josie on July 11th, 2007

ChereeM, I too lost my Baby the day I found out I was pregnant. Actually, I found out I was pregnant WHILE losing my baby in the emergency room.

- RoRo on July 11th, 2007

I lost my 1st daughter at 18 weeks, my second at 6 weeks and my third at 22 weeks. In any way did I feel God was punishing me. I really believe in my heart that all my girls were gifts from God. Some women can’t even conceive a child but yet I carried 3. I agree with Josie all of our children whether dead or alive ae gifts from God. My relationship with God is what got me through my ordeals. God Bless all the women that have suffered the loss of their angels.

- Lillian on July 11th, 2007

I had a stillborn son (carried until the due date) and have never have other children, although I am blessed to have other’s children in my life. When something like this happens, you search for ANY reason, you blame yourself, you blame the doctor. It’s a natural reaction to a situation that is so heart-breaking that there are no words to decribe it. Jade is doing that – searching. Until the pain eases somewhat, she needs to cope howevery she can. That said, Josie has every right to state her opinion. Also, I’ve never been one to think that you have to go through a situation to empathize. Pain is pain, grief is grief and we’re all human.

- Cath on July 11th, 2007

For those of you that feel Josie needs you to stick up for her, I’m gonna say that she’s a big girl and if she has something to say, she will get back on here and say it…which she did. And, to Josie, I’m sorry you had losses. I find it hard to believe that when you had your losses, you weren’t upset in the slightest. But, if you are so strong in your faith, you were able to accept it immediately, then you are stronger than I ever thought of being.

My point in understanding Jade’s side was that in the immediate period after I lost my boys, I felt I did something wrong, but I also kept my faith and wanted nothing more than to find comfort with God. I did NOT WANT to be mad at God. But, when you are so utterly devestated, your mind tends to go places you don’t want it to. When you are so far along in your pregnancy that you have to be induced and give birth to your little angels KNOWING that there was nothing physically/mentally wrong with them, except they were in the same amniotic sac, it’s hard to be rational. It’s hard to understand why. I prayed everyday that I could find happiness again. And, I have. I have my days where I am sad, but I am ok now. I know I will never know why it happened, but now that time has healed me some, I realize and accept that it’s not for me to understand. I just choose to believe God gave me two angels to watch over me. I can’t say I wouldn’t change it and have them be alive and healthy with our family, if I could. But, I know I can’t, and I just pray to God everyday to help me be strong and to someday give our family a sibling for Jordan.

I’m not going to come back to this topic because it is dredging up feelings about the boys and surrounding circumstances that I don’t really want to explode into full-fledged sadness. I have learned that harping on everything just makes it worse.

For all who have lost, I’m sorry. For those that haven’t, I pray you never do and are able to live your whole lives without feeling the pain I, and MANY others, have felt.

- Nicole on July 12th, 2007