Elisabeth Hasselbeck wants your potty-training assistance

Today on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck discussed how she would like to have her daughter Grace potty trained and out of the crib before the new baby arrives on November 11th, when Grace will be 2 1/2.

Elisabeth said she made a potty chart and Grace gets star stickers — one for pee and two for poop. When she gets 5 stars, Elisabeth sings, ‘Grace tinkled on the potty…’ and dances.

The other View ladies made fun of her, with Joy Behar admonishing, ‘Don’t make such a big deal out of it.’ Elisabeth wants to try potty training though, and asked viewers to email her with tips.

What worked for you and your kids? Were you on a time limit like Elisabeth? Laid back like Joy?

Thanks to CBB reader Joy for her email and suggestion.

Comments

the most important advice would be to just follow her child’s lead…if she’s not interested, it’s just going to be a huge struggle and really not worth it.

With our daughter, she was completely day trained by that age (night trained came about 6 months later). The trick that worked for us- I printed off several pictures of potties, and would post a new one on the fridge each day. For every successful tinkle, our daughter got to pick a sticker (from her huge collection! :p) and stick it in the bowl of the picture. At the end of the day, we’d count and see how many times she had gone. For poo-poo, whenever she sucessfully went in her potty, she got 2 m&m’s- that was a HUGE treat, as we hadn’t given her candy or sweets yet.

as for night training, we would cut her off from fluids a couple hours before bedtime. Then right before bed, we’d do the big potty run. I’d then wake her back up 2-3 times during the night to go tinkle. After a while, i’d stretch out the time between wakings, till we got to the point where she didn’t need to be woken up.

Oh! and let’s not forget the purchasing of big girl panties- very important! I’ll never forget taking our daughter to The Children’s Place and letting her pick out a package that she liked- and then she was very *insistant* on taking the panties to the counter and handing them to the cashier, just like a big girl! :p

above all else though, if the child isn’t interested, it won’t matter what trick you pull out of your hat…you just have to wait until the kiddo is ready.

- andrea on June 14th, 2007

Wanting to potty train and move a child out of the crib because a new baby is coming is selfish and unfair to your first child. “Pushing” a child through a developmental milestone because a new child is coming is “parent-centered” not “child-centered” parenting. If Elisabeth has to ask for advice on national TV, then her child clearly IS NOT ready to be potty trained!

- S on June 14th, 2007

My suggestion is that summer is the easiest time. I don’t know if that would work in New York City though. Have them pick out panties they like – my youngest didn’t want to pee on Buzz. Let them feel the dampness. If they are ready they will use the potty. It’s not something I wanted to get into a battle about. Also know that with a newborn many times the older brother or sister regresses for a little while. It’s tough becoming a big brother or sister.

- Loralee on June 14th, 2007

I would also recommend summertime as the best time to potty train. I disagree that she’s being selfish in trying to have Grace potty trained & out of her crib at 2 1/2. My first child was 2 1/2 when she was potty trained & moved into her “big girl” room 4 months before our second child was born. She felt all grown up & we felt, more prepared to be the “big sister” because of all she accomplished. If she doesn’t get push-back from Grace, I say go for it & make it fun – games, stickers, rewards – it’s all good. And, Grace will probably LOVE her new room/new bed. It can be an all around rewarding experience for them all.

- dezignermom on June 14th, 2007

I’m in complete agreement with those who say you can’t push these kinds of things. Elisabeth’s ideas are well, idealic, at best. I’m due with our second child August 2nd and our daughter is 2 1/2 now (3 in Nov.). She still sleeps in her crib and is still in pull-ups, she’s not potty trained yet. Her father and I know that she is not yet ready to have a “big girl” bed and she has sure let us know many a time that she is not ready to be potty trained though we def. have given it a shot numerous times. Ideally she would be sleeping through the night in a toddler bed and be at least day trained by the time our son is born, but if she’s not ready, then she’s simply not ready. We are not going to attempt to push our baby girl into anything she’s not ready for. These things take time and lots of patience and should be dealt with on a sort of case by case basis if you know what I mean. Each child is different.

I hope Elisabeth reconsiders. It’s not wrong that as a first-time mom she’s asking for tips and tricks to these sort of things, I’ve looked some up myself. But, if she finds herself in a battle of wills with her 2 year old, she and her husband are going to have a lot of headaches. All this on top of having a newborn in the house again and the stress that can come from that. I would just say sit back, relax, and enjoy your baby girl Elisabeth. These things will happen when they do, no need to stress. They grow up so fast as it is. No need to push.

- Jessica on June 14th, 2007

I don’t think you can push a kid into potty training, but the stars do work well. My brother was having a difficult time training and so my mother gave him a star every time he went to the bathroom in the potty. He could redeem stars for stickers or little things like that and once he had a whole bunch in a row (when he was essentially trained) my mom got him an ice cream cone.

- MB on June 14th, 2007

We were just in the same situation. I felt pressured to have our daughter trained by the time the new baby came. Actually she did well up until we came home from the hospital. Then she didn’t want anything to do with the potty. We then waited about four more months after to start the training again, and we had to start from the beginning. Most peditricans will tell you to wait until after the new baby is born.

- mbev1234 on June 14th, 2007

Everyone’s situation is different. And it is very rude to assume that Elisabeth is being selfish. It is not unreasonable to want your 2 1/2 year old daughter to be potty trained and not in a crib by the time she is 3, and there is a new baby in the house. Lots of children are potty-trained at that age, and if you listen to the way Elisabeth is doing the potty training, it sounds like a great way to approach it. I think as fellow parents we should not be so quick to judge and name-call.

- h_solice on June 14th, 2007

Waking a sleeping child in the night numerous times just so you can force them to pee is rough. I wouldn’t want to be woken up from a dead sleep to go the bathroom. I hate to get up and use the bathroom now! People tend to forget little kids sometimes simply can’t hold their urine all night. It’s not that they are lazy ….they are asleep! That’s why pull-ups were invented! Put them on so the kids can sleep all night and not wet the bed. If you actually have to get up yourself and wake a kid 2-3 times at night, they are not ready to go to bed in underwear yet.

- Nan on June 14th, 2007

My 11yr old took her time until she was 3 years old with my now 6 yr old it was like a walk in the park,she basically did it on her own she got a potty when she was a lil over 1 yr old,at 1.5 she wore pullups b/c reg Pampers she wouldnt leave on and i started to take her to the bathroom with me when i had to go and she sat on her potty.By her 2nd B-day she was potty trained during the day and 3 mos later also during the night (went to check on her at night and her pampers was on the floor).I would carry her to the bathroom before my own bedtime so she could pee and eventually she woke up herself and went to us it.

I would never force any of my kids to get rid of their diaper but i have to admit its much nicer if they are potty trained and i hope it will be just as easy when time comes with the new baby.

- Simone on June 14th, 2007

My mom set up a chart and we would put stickers on it when we would go. After we filled out the chart she would take us to the store and buy us a toy!

- Bemi on June 14th, 2007

What’s wrong with wanting your child potty trained by the time she is 3? My eldest daughter wasn’t fully trained until she was 3 1/2 but she was in her “big girl” bed when she was 2.

- Mary-Helen on June 15th, 2007

My eldest son was put in a big bed by the time he was 14 months old. He could climb out of his cot and we were worried about him falling and hurting himself. I had my second child when he was 2 and a half and he was still in nappies(diapers). I am talking about 23 years ago here and I used the folding kind of cloth nappies. In winter having 2 kids in cloth nappies isn’t fun so I decided to stay home and intensely train my eldest son to sit on the potty. It’s a lot easier if you aren’t rushing out the door and not spending much time at home. My sons weren’t dry at night until they were around 5 and it wasn’t such a big deal except I had to put 2 nappies on each of them at night and finding plastic pants big enough back then was a mission, too. My daughter was much easier to train, was dry at night by 18 months and potty trained by 2.

- Kresta on June 15th, 2007

I think there is a difference between encouraging it and giving it a try… versus pushing.

I would not do it unless the kid was ready.

All children are ready at differen ages.

My kids… I learned from trying and pushing and living to regret it all with my first and then taking my MIL’s advice (she raised 5 kids, so she knows her stuff) to just let it be… it will happen when it happens… and you can’t force it.

The only thing to encourage it is tell them what it’s about, show them what to do, and give them the opportunities and access to the pot.

One way to do all that is to take your child to the bathroom with you when you go… if you are the mom and your son is a boy, get dad involved.

I have yet to have a child potty train by age 3… and we’ll see if my daughter does it by age 4.

But we’re not pressuring her and we’ve had very small times of success followed by regression because she is afraid of the toilet or the sound of the flusher and takes awhile. She also is very independent like her brothers were and likes to do things for herself… so I bet it will happen when she’s more able to do the whole bit herself.

She’s also still convinced that the toilet is something fun, not just something to pee and poo in… she wants to flush anything other than pee or poo down it… and wants to empty the water… not things we can allow.

She’s becoming more interested in imitating things she sees on tv, though, like tea parties, birthday parties, etc., so we’re going to take out the potty training videos we have that are for kids that the boys loved and let her watch them, too. It really gets kids motivated when they hit that period of wanting to imitate (she loves Elmo, for instance, who has a video for potty training)

- Kat on June 15th, 2007

I would have to agree with this being a selfish way of thinking. Of course, I find this Elisabeth woman a bit offensive and odd – always have even back when she was on Survivor but whatever…

It seems to me that small children as we mostly forget are little people with wants and needs of their own and we cannot MAKE them use the toilet and get them into a big person bed just because it is convenient for us.

I also think that people should have think through this kind of thing before getting pregnant with a second baby. Most people do not and think they can get their kids to do these things but just the mother being pregnant and changing before a child’s very eyes is a difficult transition.

Most mothers I have spoken with said that they tried and failed on these things before having the baby or they had their kids mostly potty trained and moved to a big kid bed and everything regressed after the baby arrived for several months.

Let’s be honest here – THIS IS A HUGE DEAL in the life of a very small child esp. a two-three year old. At two, kids can talk but they cannot express themselves perfectly so you have to imagine what it would be like to only be able to say a small amount of words even though many larger and better words are floating through your head. You would be frustrated at not being able to express yourself.

Finally, we all have to remember that potty training and transitioning from a crib to a bed are growth milestones just like rolling over to crawling to walking is. It is just that we cannot physically see it happening – this is a mental growth.

I guess I wish her luck but in some ways I hope she fails so she can express this on national TV and let other parents know it is okay to fail, that failure on accomplishing these things because WE need to is no big deal and that no child that most of know goes by the age of 5 goes to school without learning to use the potty or moving into a big kid bed. It will happen in good time!

- Christina on June 15th, 2007

I am the mother of an autistic son and would love any advice anyone can give me on potty training special needs kids. We have attempted it on 6 different periods and gotten nowhere. Any advice would be appreciated.

- Beverley on June 15th, 2007

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your child potty-trained by 3. Everyone’s got their own opinion about how to do it, and if someone else doesn’t do it the way you would, that doesn’t make them selfish. And I don’t even like Elisabeth Hasselbeck! Personally, my daughter was potty-trained quite awhile before she hit 2, and the one thing that worked for me was to avoid EasyUps/PullUps. I only used them at night in the beginning, and then took them away altogether when she was having frequent #2 accidents all of a sudden and for no reason. That stopped immediately when the EasyUp was taken away, and she was night trained 3 days after that.

- Jennifer on June 15th, 2007

Both my kids potty trained at different times, the older one at 21/2 years with no troubles. The younger one wouldn’t even look at the toilet until he was 3 yrs and 2 months, he then trained in a week, it’s been 8 months and no accidents yet! I think follow the kids lead. For the crib, I used a bassinet in our bedroom for the first three months, so that buys more time, but again, I waited to see how my kids felt about a bed…both my kids were in the crib closer to the age of 3. My kids are 2 1/2 years apart and by the time the younger one was ready for the crib, the older one was out of it for about a month or so.

- SY on June 15th, 2007

thanks CBB for posting this topic and I am enjoying the reads.

I currently care for my 2 yr old niece and right now she does use the potty but more or less on her time. I’ll ask and sometimes she’ll say yes most times it’s no…but we give her lollipops for going…but right now she could care less either way. She’ll go on the potty but she really likes the praise more then the treat. She’ll say, “I went potty” for about 5 min. straight after she goes bc she wants me to tell her what a big girl she was and how proud I am of her. However there are days where I ask her all day and she blows me off. Right now we’re just introducing the idea but bc we are now swimming quite often we are trying to make her go potty before she goes in the pool and her mother makes her go potty before she goes in the bath. So far I think for not being quite 2 1/2 she’s doing well. But we would really like her out of diapers by summers end! If not we’ll keep trying but let her decide. I think she’s totally ready but she’s quite smart and knows how to play us just right

- J.M. on June 15th, 2007

oh I also heard boys sometimes can be harder then girls.

This is advice from mom’s I’ve gotten on potty training boys (since I also have 3 nephews):

Target practice! lol – cheerios or other small cereal in the toilet bowel and let them shoot them!

Use a jar to make bubbles. A little boy I babysat learned to potty train by age 2 by peeing in a jar. I thought it was odd but his mom said she got all 3 of her boys potty trained by their 2nd birthday by using this method.

I guess for boys it’s harder bc you have to decide whether to make them sit or stand to go potty.

But I guess for girl’s there isn’t as much fun in it!

As far as Elisabeth is concerned when I watched the other day and thought this was a good CBB topic I didn’t think it would cause concern for people to care about her wanting to potty train her daughter. I am not a huge EH fan but she seemed relaxed about the idea and said, “well see how it goes” and even said she’s up for suggestions from mom’s. I don’t think it was a “we must” kind of attitude just a “lets try and see what happen”…which I think is great. Grace is 2 1/2 and maybe has shown signs of being ready.
Obviously you can’t force your children to go on the potty and the method is to let them do it when they’re ready, however I also know many children who are smart but also quite stubborn. So if you assume they’re ready there is no harm in putting a little bit more pressure on them. But not enough that you and your child are both unhappy.

All I know is potty training is stressful and I can’t wait to be done with it!

- J.M. on June 15th, 2007

She can wish and hope all she wants for Grace to potty-trained by X date, X time, before the baby’s born, try to encourage it, but if her daughter isn’t feeling or isn’t ready, I doubt she’s going to get much out of her.

I know with my youngest nephew, his mother tried training him, but he would go and then sometimes forget. So, around 2 and 1/2 he wore diapers/trainers and “big kid” underwear. But since he had two older brothers and he wanted to be like them, that sort of helped him along. After a little trial and error, he eventually got it after a few months, before his third birthday came around.

I guess you’d have to go by how they act. As long as you go by their clock and don’t try to force it/push it on them. If they want to do it and they’re ready, they’ll do it.

- FC on June 15th, 2007

How do any of you even know that Elisabeth is pushing Grace to do this? She simply asked viewers for help, and I highly doubt that a single one of you criticizing her has gotten through raising children without asking for ANY advice. The number of people passing judgement on Elisabeth’s parenting skills is ridiculous.

- Hillary on June 16th, 2007

I don’t think it’s “pushing” to start training your child to use the toilet at age 2. Both of my children (boys) were trained by age 2 with not problems. Many children are ready to be trained starting at 18 months. It is easier to start then rather than wait until they are 3 and more difficult.

- LB on June 16th, 2007

I introduced my daughter to the potty at 18months, everyone is different, everytime I went to the bathroom, I would bring her in the bathroom with me and she would sit on the potty whether she did anything at that time or not, by 2 1/2 she was fully potty trained, going at night before bed, I would take her before I went to bed and in the morninig she would go by herself. There is no right or wrong way whichever works best for you and your child.

- DivaStar on June 16th, 2007

She has been talking about grace and potty training since sepetember. In fact I went to the view back in November and she was saying during the commerical break how Grace is bascially fully potty trained already at 19 months, and the audience was surprised I remember. But now judging by what she is saying 7 months later, it sounded more like Elisabeth wanted her to be full potty trained back than, but she wasn’t ready yet. I think now at 2 yrs old, sounds about right for her to want to potty train Grace, and I’m sure by November it should be ok. But I don’t get how she is saying she wants grace out of the crib and diapers before the next baby comes, if elisabeth had it her way she would have had 2 babies much closer. She was always saying on the view how she wanted the kids very close together, and was trying since last year to get pregnant. If grace is potty trained and out of the crib by november, than great. If not handle it Elisabeth, that’s what having kids close together is all about lol.

- Gabriella on June 16th, 2007