Holly Robinson Peete discusses her son's autism and more

Actress Holly Robinson Peete recently spoke to Essence magazineabout the hardships of juggling a career and family and the evengreater difficulty of tackling autism and erasing the stigma associatedwith it.

 

Holly’s eldest son, Rodney, Jr., 9 1/2, with husband,ex-quarterback Rodney Peete, was diagnosed with the disorder at the ageof 3, which Holly cites as the most devastating time in her lifenext to her father’s Parkinson’s diagnosis. The news put a strainon the two’s marriage – already suffering from Rodney’s absence whilehe played in the NFL – and was only exacerbated when Rodney and Holly’smother refused to accept doctors’ diagnosis. Angered, Holly issued anultimatum to both: be supportive or leave.

I was going to leave my husband and divorce my mom. I knew we hadto roll up our sleeves and not go into denial. With autism, earlyintervention is important. We had to get those therapies going.

Her husband and mother eventually got onboard and sought treatmentfor Rodney, Jr. Nowadays, Rodney, Jr. is a friendly and outgoing youngboy who’s currently being mainstreamed at school. The earlier years,however, weren’t so bright as Holly learned how insensitive otherpeople can be.

You really find out who your friends are. When your kid isstruggling at 4, being disruptive, and he stops getting invited toparties and play dates, it hurts.

The actress also confesses that, for a short period of time, she toowas in denial about Rodney, Jr.’s condition, only to realize she shouldcount her blessings.

I had this moment when Rod was in this school where many of thekids were much more severely affected than he was – he was like theposter boy. That’s when I thought, ‘This could be so much worse.’

A devoted mom, Holly has put her career second behind focusingon Rodney, Jr. and raising her three other children, daughter andRodney, Jr’s twin, Ryan Elizabeth and sons Robinson, 4 1/2, and Roman,2, a decision she consciously made and has absolutely no regrets about.

After I started having kids, I really didn’t want to do film.

Holly prefers television acting instead because of its consistentfilming schedule, allowing time for her family. Her latest endeavor, Football Wives, a pilot for ABC’s possible fall line-up, is good forher family values, she says.

Rodney says to me, ‘The nonprofits are nice, but Mama needs to do a little for-profit now.’ Time to get back to work! 

Source: Essence

Thanks to CBB reader Brooklyn.

Comments

I am an Speech Language Pathology student, and since Autism is such a heavily language based disorder, it is so great that she immediately put her in therapy; which would mostly be language therapy.

- Stephanie on April 13th, 2007

i don’t have kids, but from what i can tell, having them can be tricky enough, let alone children needing special attention AND being in the public eye. kudos to holly & best of luck to her son & family. i believe matt le blanc’s daughter had some sort of problem when she was born at least also, not sure what it was or if she still has it.

- ang on April 13th, 2007

I definitely commend Holly on being proactive with her son and getting him the needed help. This is the first time I’m hearing that he has been diagnosed with autism. I think her early intervention had a lot to do with how well it seems he’s doing now.

- Mary on April 13th, 2007

I wouldn’t say Autism is a disease, it’s a disorder. It is great to me to see a woman as strong as her handling this disorder. My younger brother is autistic so to see Holly openly talking about her son is very comforting.

- funnyhoney on April 13th, 2007

Aww god bless their family. Raising children is hard enough, but with a special needs child it can be a lot for some marriages and families. Always liked her, and she sounds like an attentive mom.

- gabriella on April 14th, 2007

I have a six year old son who is autistic. We started intervention when he was 2 and it took us until last year for a full diagnosis. I totally believe with early intervention! My son is in mainstream school, with a lot of support. I too have family and friends who think he is “spoiled” and that with some good old fashion discipline he would be “normal”. I wish people would think. People don’t understand the broad spectrum autism is. On the outside my son seems normal, but on the inside even me, as his mother, have a very hard time understanding things. I commend Holly and her family. Keep the hope alive and the information rolling so we can find help and possibly a cure one day. Best of luck.

- christina on April 14th, 2007

We get the fantastic advantage of a family TALKING about the reality of their life, understanding that “autism” is not some FREAK label, but rather a medical issue that can successfully be handled. Hope the Travoltas’ are reading.

- Campbell on April 14th, 2007

It’s great that more celebrities are willing to share personal information about their families with the public. It’s really helpful to those who are also going through the same issues. Its easy to think that all celebrities have worry-free children (until they become teenager, that is) LOL.

- Becky's Daughter on April 14th, 2007

This is the first I have heard about Holly’s oldest son having autism. When she and her husband were on Oprah not too long ago, there was no mention about it. Oprah just did a show about autism, and no mention was made of Holly.

The more celebrities come out about having a child with a disability (Toni Braxton’s son also has autism) the more disability awareness is brought to society. Good on Holly for finally being open about her son’s autism.

- Dawna on April 14th, 2007

I understand Holly’s position. I am the proud mother of two kids with special needs. My son who is 14 has aspergers(high functioning autism) and my daughter who is 10 has Down Syndrome. My daughter is very outgoing and very social and has many friends. My beautiful son is now wanting to have friends, but it is very hard for him. Having a close loving family to help us through the rough times has been our saving grace. All I can say about all children is to never judge a book by its cover. Life is hard at times, but we will get through the challenges and enjoy all the successes.
Thank you, Abbe from Vancouver, Canada

- Abbe Gates on April 15th, 2007

I’m a mother of a 20 month old and expecting my second child in july, I commend Holly.Iam wondering why a child is diagnosed at 3, I thought you could tell by at least 18 months to 2years old?

- xiomara on April 27th, 2007

Maybe they were in the denial she talks about, at that point. (the 18month/2years mark.) Or maybe the doctors did not want to quickly rush in to diagnose the disorder at the younger age.

- HollyCate on April 28th, 2007

xiomara, Autism is very tricky to diagnose, and it isn’t that unusual for it be diagnosed when a child is three or even older. In fact, what is more unusual is for it to be diagnosed when the child is diagnosed at 2 years (let alone 18 months)! In fact, it is not even that uncommon for Autistic children to be mis-diagnosed at first. I have Asperger’s Syndrome (which is also called Higher-functioning autism), and I went through two mis-diagnoses (both of which were extremely vague ones at that) before finally recieving the correct one.

- An person with a form of Autisum on April 28th, 2007

I wish the best of luck for holly son i i know that sometimes you may run into hard times but i gonna let you know that god is with you every step of the way.

- Tamara Ligon on May 3rd, 2007

I commend Holly for sharing. I wish them the very best as well as those affected by Autism.

- Latanya on May 6th, 2007

My question is, do you blame the MMR vaccination for the condition of your son? It was mentioned once in the newest People that his symptons started soon after that shot but, nothing else was said about it.

- Amy on June 6th, 2007

I would love to have Mrs. Peete on my weekly radio program Empowering Our Children, with our national mental health experts! We educate on Autism/Asperger Syndrome and many other challenges that our children face every Tuesday from 3-4pm (CST) via http://www.empoweringourchildren.com Families can call-in or e-mail in questions during the program and podcasts are accaessible at no charge–we are a non-profit 501c3–and helpful resources!! Thank you

- Rhonda Cerny on June 14th, 2007

“My question is, do you blame the MMR vaccination for the condition of your son?”

I have a son with Autism Spectrum Disorder. We have traced the genetic link of Autism back through the males of my family on my husband’s side (his dad has it, his brother has it, my nephew has it, and my husband may even have it). There are some who do believe that it’s environmental, but Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning that there are many variations of the condition, and there also could be many causes– including alumnimum poisoning, heavy metal poisoning, allergies, vaccinations, genetics, or a combination of all of these things.

- Mom of Autistic Son on September 13th, 2007

Holly, you go girl! You be the mother God has chosen you to be. Keep informed and be proactive. You son is alright!!

- Brenda on September 18th, 2007

i didn’t know holly’s son rodney had Autism oh my god,i wish them all the best and i hope god heals her child because god still heals!,oh yeah i remember holly from the hot tv series 21 jump street woot woot and mr.cooper,best wishes to her new show football wives i hope it get put in to the abc fall line up.GOD BLESS

- keke on September 18th, 2007

I have a 23 autistic son when he was diagnosed it was 1 out of every 10,000 births mainly in boys now i am hearing a lot of girls as well early intervention is very important the sooner the better its that much more your child would be ahead of the
game my son is moderate it was 18 years old when he finally spoke in full sentences now he is learning to initiate conversation not only speak when spoken too what helped him more with the language was reading as he learned to read he remembered the words to
use to speak well good luck to you and faith goes a long way i will keep you in my prayers

- mariann o on September 18th, 2007

Its 10:00 and I just finished watching the Oprah show on autism with Holly and Jenny.I enjoyed watching Jennys energy but she made it sound too easy to reverse autism.I was more interested in hearing about how Hollys son is now and what therapies he does and how he is on a daily basis.I could relate more with her since my 9almost 10 daughter has autism.We started therapies at age 3 due to finding a diagnosis was harder than it has been in the last 3 years.We did and still do ABA,OT,Speech.Her speech is better and receptive language is betterbut we still struggle with communication issues.I have always thought that as long as they were making progress we were on the right path but after watching yal today it saddens me that maybe we totally missed the window of opportunity for her.I will never give up on her but feel stuck since we didnt get the quick fix jenny did and my mother voice never gave me the talk jenny gave hers-mine just said Im tired…..I guess I just wanted any suggestions for older kids with autism..

- susan on September 18th, 2007

Hi,I’m an Atlanta mom who knew my son was born normal. 3 months after the MMR vaccine he had his first seizure that scared me senseless. 6months later came the Autism diagnosis. He became totally nonverbal. More recently, the seizures became out of control. After taking him to an Autsim Doctor in Washington D.C. and placed on a Gluten Free diet as of Sept. 25, 2007 my son’s seizures have stopped. We haven’t even started the actual treatment (vitamin supplements) yet!! I am looking to open a Performing Arts School in Atlanta, GA for children w/ Autism and have also written a theme song in these kid’s honor.

- Shyrron Anthony on October 5th, 2007

I want to commend Holly for staying on top of this cause. My son was diagnosed at 10 yr old with Asperger’s. We began to notice he was different at age 4-5. His IQ was astounding but we saw the dazed, in another place stare. Sounds and crowds aggitated him. He could not make friends. We went through the “IEP”/”special education period until he was in the 4th grade. We almost sued the school district because they were refusing to find the appropriate class for him. The district did not want to put him in gifted/talented classes because he could not interact with the other kids but they chose to put him in classes where there were children with serious developemental delays or learning disorders. He will soon be 16 and a senior and is still a gifted student academically. If it were not for our persistance with the school system, I have no idea where we’d be.. He has a few friends at school but he still keeps his distance. He is more comfortable being by himself.
Thank you for putting a voice on Autism.

- Laurie on January 2nd, 2008

I also would like to commend Holly. I have a son that is 12 who was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of 18 months. We started early intervention at that time and he is now mainstream. Though he does not have many friends, he has had the same 3 best friends since Kindergarten. I don’t wish anyone to have austism, but I wish everyone could feel the love they have to give. They are the most precious angels in the world. God has given him to me as a gift. My son makes me want to try and be a better person everyday. He sees no bad in people. If only everyone could be that way, what a world we would live in.

- Michelle on January 9th, 2008

I want to thank Holly for posting this article and allowing to comment. I too have twins, son and daughter who are almost 3 yrs old. And yes my son is now going through early intevention now for a possible diagnosis of autism. It has definitely been a difficult time for me being a 1st time single mother with a hand full of having 2 children, but now one of them is needing a lot more attention than the other. I felt the same way as Holly as far as denying the fact that he wasn’t developing the same as his sister. But I had noticed when we went to birthday parties or even church. He would block his ears and just scream. I had no idea and would be embarassed. I had watched CNN when they had the special about autistic children and celebrity mothers who are battling this with their children and immediately made an appointment with his pediatrician. When they had told me of the possibility, I had went into a slight depression thinking how did this happen or that there must have been something I did wrong. But he is now getting treatment and we have a good support system so I know we can beat this! Thanks Holly

- theonnie caldwee on May 31st, 2008

I want to thank Holly for posting this article and allowing to comment. I too have twins, son and daughter who are almost 3 yrs old. And yes my son is now going through early intevention now for a possible diagnosis of autism. It has definitely been a difficult time for me being a 1st time single mother with a hand full of having 2 children, but now one of them is needing a lot more attention than the other. I felt the same way as Holly as far as denying the fact that he wasn’t developing the same as his sister. But I had noticed when we went to birthday parties or even church. He would block his ears and just scream. I had no idea and would be embarassed. I had watched CNN when they had the special about autistic children and celebrity mothers who are battling this with their children and immediately made an appointment with his pediatrician. When they had told me of the possibility, I had went into a slight depression thinking how did this happen or that there must have been something I did wrong. But he is now getting treatment and we have a good support system so I know we can beat this! Thanks Holly

- theonnie caldwee on May 31st, 2008

I saw Holly on a TV interview years ago and felt for her. I am glad her child is being mainstreamed.We know what it’s like to stop getting invited to some parties; but thankfully some friends stay by you.Unfortunately our son ,now 13, is still severe -It’s hard; but my wife is amazing and like Holly we didn’t stop having kids after he was born.He is our second oldest by a year and after Joey we had 5 more-thats right we have 7 and they are all beautiful and great with Joe even the little guy helps.I have never posted anything like this before; but read it and thought someone might like to hear from a Dad for a change.To all you guys with healthy kids and ones that are now doing better and mainstreaming-congrats.To you Mom and Dads who have it like us-stay the course,don’t give up,enjoy the days you can and God Bless You

- John and Kate + 7 on December 13th, 2008

As the parent of a child with autism, I commend the Peete family for coming forward. Bringing more focus to the subject can only better individuals with autism in the long run.I say the more info out there the better. I cannot say if vaccines were the cause or not of our son’s autism, research is the answer here. Most imporatant to me was what to do to encourage the happy and successful growth of our son. When our son was diagnosed 15 years ago, we really had almost no information. We dug in our heals and found as much out as we could. The most important thing that I tell everyone is early intervention, early intervention. It really worked for our son. Keep involved with the school system, use every resource out there. Cooperating on a solution that works for all, not fighting with everyone, was the best way for us. Also, find out what interests them most and pursue it. We tried many things, sports, etc. and for our son it was music. I am happy to say that at 19 years of age, our son is in his second year of college as a music major. He has friends, maybe not lots, but good ones. Most important, he is happy doing something productive that he loves. I know longer worry if he will be O.K. if we are gone. I know he will be.

- Ann Marie on August 5th, 2009

I have twins 26 months boy/girl. My son was just recently diagnosed with autism. I’m so confused because he plays and acts so normal yet doesn’t speak much. He loves to be cuddled, kisses and loves his sister. He goes to gymnastics weekly and doesn’t seem anymore overly active than his twin sister. Sometime he does take his trucks and turn them over and spin the wheels but it’s not excessive…I thought he was just being a boy!! He feeds himself, helps get himself dressed and even puts on his shoes….but again he doesn’t talk and won’t follow all commands especially if I say pick something up or go get something…not sure if this is normal for a two year old boy or was the diagnoses correct??? HELP!! He’s currently has WV birth to 3 coming out once a week for speech/occupational.

- Tony & Toni on September 11th, 2009

To Tony & Toni,

You are right to question the diagnosis. Sometimes what may just be normal delays in development are put as autism too soon. Keep at though, you may start to notice things as he develops that will not sit right. Trust your gut. A good indicator is lack of eye contact. The child will almost go out of his way not to look at you when you talk to him or he talks to you. Also, cuddling is something autistic children have a hard time with. They don’t like to be touched or hugged a lot. My son used to walk in circles a lot, and actually still paces when he is alone and stressed. Also, they may not react in a correct manner in certain social situations, perhaps laughing at an incident where laughing is inappropriate, if they see someone fall or get hurt. Again, this may not be the case for all children with autism. This was our experience. As he got older, our son, did not improve with these things, which is what led us to seek out a diagnosis. I will say that early intervention got him prepared for school, and social skills therapy as he progressed in school was also very helpful. They taught him basically how to interact w/people. This may sound silly, but for kids with autism, it just does not come naturally. Some gross motor skills can also be affected. For example, it took my son a lot longer than most kids to learn how to ride a bike. Our biggest fear was that because he got lost in his thoughts a lot, he would not pay attention crossing the streets. He did get it eventually and now he even drives a car. He performs music on stage and while not the most talkative young man, he does interact with people much better. So all things can be learned, just at a different pace. Just keep at and know that there are aspects of his personality that he may never be able to change, but can succeed as well as anyone else in life.

- Ann Marie on September 18th, 2009

My daughter has been diagnosed with leve 48 autism. My wife passed away a little over a year ago. I need help in many ways and am trying to find the right path for her. It was hard to accept the diagnoses, but even harder now making the decisions on my own. She is 5 and is the joy of my life. She understands every thing you say but can not not talk. I taught her sign language after I learned from the internet. I hope I can make the right decisions for her life, I know I need to find support groups. I want the best for her but is tough by youself when she consumes a lot of my time (which I love that).

- Vincent Orlando on October 27th, 2009