MamaPop- Celebrity Nannies: Blessing or Curse?

By Lena ofMamaPop

Bruce Willis & Demi Moore had four at once.

Jude Law slept with his.

Robin Williams ended up marrying his.

Madonna recently had to stop hers from telling all.

Britney Spears got nude in front of hers.

Tom Cruise is said to have the most iron-clad confidentiality agreements with his.

Noel Gallagher and Patsy Kensit have been known to provide flats and sports cars for their’s.

We’re talking about nannies of course: the silent backbones of most every celebrity family. Leslie Gornstein from Live Daily interviewed Kim Hong, former nanny to an action-movie mogul’s family, and broke down the fundamentals:

"Most celebrities have at least three nannies perkid–one for weekdays, one for weeknights and a third for weekends andtrips. Lucky nannies get a whole $30 per hour. That’s enough to buy,well, nothing, actually, over at Fred Segal and all the other fancyshops where they must take the young (ones) to buy their mini-Uggs.

The nanny is responsible for packing lunches, preparing dinner,playing games, reading bedtime stories, overseeing homeworkassignments, bathing the children, making sure they brush their teeth,dressing them appropriately, picking up after them, and transportingthem to and from school, karate class, the chiropractor, Spanish class,parties at other celebrities’ homes and any other trip.

The kids usually end up treating their nannies like assistants."

While most nannies are bound by their confidentiality agreements – Tom Cruisereportedly won’t even allow his to divulge who they work for – some goon to make a lucrative career with their celebrity experiences.

Suzanne Hansen’s book You’ll Never Nanny In This Town Again became a NY Times Bestseller when it promised juicy tidbits about her former employer, Hollywood uber-agent Michael Ovitz, exposing intimate details of his family’s life from marital spats to what they ate for dinner.

It makes you wonder, is hiring a nanny worth it? Would you trade your privacy to have the help?

Source: Live Daily, The Blemish sfgate.com

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MamaPop is a collective of women writers devoted to bringing the best of pop culture to the masses daily. Visit them at www.mamapop.com.

Comments

Of course having a nanny is worth it! I would if I could afford it. It’s just a matter of finding the right nanny. You don’t just hire anyone. Why oh why is having help so bad? Sheesh.

- alexasdf on April 4th, 2007

Would I trade in my privacy for a nanny? I suppose so, yes. But not because I’m a celebrity or want the status symbol of having a nanny.

No, for us its merely a smart financial decision. Daycare is $350 a week per child, so we’d be paying $700 a month for a group setting with tons of kids and only a few adults. For $500 a month I can get a live-in nanny who will focus on my kids only. So, we’re a “nanny family” because its the best for us. And, no, I don’t feel like we’ve lost much privacy beyond not being able to walk around naked anymore. lol

- Christine on April 4th, 2007

Reading bedtime stories and bathing my kids are 2 of the most precious things I do with them. I couldn’t imagine having a nanny do it.

- estelle on April 4th, 2007

I am a part time nanny whilst at university in the UK and am currently working with a family who have adopted their children and the parents no longer work. I love being with the kids but find it incredibly frustrating that I am called upon so much by the parents to look after their children because it is a ‘burden’ for them to pick them up from school. I feel so sorry for the children who are constantly looked after by other people, for instance when my shift is over a babysitter has them for the night. The parents compensate for this by taking them on expensive days out at the weekend and taking them to parties where they can show them off. I have no problem with people hiring nannies but I do have a problem when the parents can look after their own children yet choose not to. The parents of the children I look after have missed out on so much, I was the first person to hear the youngest child read, I helped them learn to ride their bikes etc. It is going to be so hard to leave them when my degree is over as I now feel like a surrogate mummy to them!

- Lexie on April 4th, 2007

I agree with estelle. I don’t have any children, but u would think that parents would want to play more of a role in their children’s life. I would not trade in my privacy for a nanny. I am old school, i would rather have my family help as i do and did with my cousins. I personally just wouldn’t trust anybody to watch my children. Personally, i just think that celebrities are lazy, they usually have so much time to be with their children n they don’t want to do what they are supposed to do. If u don’t want to take on the responsibility of raising a child, than don’t have one, and u won’t have to worry about your privacy being leaked!!!
P.S. b4 i get hate responses about not being a parent, as i stated b4, i have help raise my cousins, like they were mine.

- dee on April 4th, 2007

I think if I were a celebrity I would have to have a nanny at least part time. I would probably try to take time off from movies or if I were a singer….touring, so I could be with my child as much as possible. But, eventually creative types like celebs want to go back to work so a nanny would be a good answer. But, having 2 or 3 nannies per child??? That is insane!! I can see having a nanny part time or for times I would have to be out of town and couldn’t bring the kids with me. Ultimately I would want to be the one raising my children.

- tink1217 on April 4th, 2007

The best part of my day are lunches, teatime, games, stories at bedtime, bathtime, painting, picking up his clothes, finding the odd places the toys have been hidden, taking part in his activities, friends birthday parties and just playing. I thought that was the parenting part and if i had all the money in the world I would have someone to help with the housework and maybe when i had to go to work functions in the evenings but when your children are awake that is their time that you as a parent owe to them they are your treasures and oh so quickly they grow…its the most pleasurable sacrifice in the world.

- lulusass on April 4th, 2007

I think a lot of people cannot pathom or understand the need of nanny in a busy lifestyle. I personally am a part time nanny along with another part time nanny and full time nanny (yes 3 of us) and the family dynamic is perfect! Parents would love to stay home or have family take care of them but that is hard in today society’s when both parents have to work and family is far and in between. I work for a high profile family who live in multi-million home, socialites, and yet they love their children more than they can imagine. They constantly spend time when they can and there are sacrifices. Yes they do work a ton however this allows them to take 15 trips around the world a year with their children and provide them with things such as a college education without thought. I can totally imagine the need for a nanny especially for a celebrity family. I mean all you mothers know how hard it is to take one, espsecially two and three kids to the grocery store…imagine being famous and having the paparazzi following your every step. Yes it is conveinance for many, but safety as well.

- Shelby on April 4th, 2007

Personally, I don’t think I could ever trust anyone else with my children- you hear to many stories about nannies and I wouldn’t want to risk that with my daughters. I don’t see the point of having children just to pay someone else to raise them. Obviously, in some cases where school hours clash with the parent’s working hours, a nanny can be useful, but when you have children who aren’t even in school yet, I don’t see why anyone NEEDS a nanny. I stayed at home with my children until they were school-age because I don’t think it’s right sending little babies to day-care or leaving them with strangers. Not criticisng those who do, it’s just my opinon.

- ix on April 4th, 2007

I have two children (an infant and my school-age stepdaughter). My husband and I both work full days and it is not easy to balance the household at all times. We have a day nanny for our baby who also helps out when our other daughter comes home from school. Both girls love the nanny and she is amazing! I do not feel like I am abandoning my children or being a bad Mom at all. Finding a good nanny takes a lot of research but once you find a good one, it takes a lot off your back! I would love to be a fulltime SAHM but its just not possible for us right now.

- Heather on April 4th, 2007

Shelby, I understand what you are saying, but just because someone is a “socialite” doesn’t mean they NEED 3 nannies. I know plenty of very well to do families with demanding careers that have part time care givers for their children, still manage to be there for just about everything, and still manage to give their children all the things you mentioned PLUS their time too. I think we make choices as parents and sometimes parents feel their career is just as important as their family/children. While I wouldn’t say I feel that way, I can understand it to a point. I would never knock anyone who HAD TO work to support their family with a 2 income household (like regular middle class America). Those are probably the people that actually NEED help the most and they usually cannot afford it.

I had 2 babies in 2 yrs when I was 20 and 21. They were 18 months apart. Not only did I do it on my own without my husband(we were separated and divorced when my son was born), but I could NOT work due to my sons health. Luckily I had family. I could really have used help at least once in awhile just to get an hour to myself. But, I didn’t have that luxury. To tell you the truth, I don’t think I would have wanted full time help. I brought those kids into the world. I should be their primary caregiver.

Just because parents can give their child vacations and college educations and everything the child wants doesn’t make up for love and quality time spent together. Not saying all celebs are that way at all, I am sure there are quite a few that are not(Gwen Stefani, Jen Garner, Reese Witherspoon, for example). But a socialite family like you described…I don’t see the need. I think sacrifices in favor of being there for your children are the sacrifices that should be made. But, most would go the way of “making more money” instead.

There is always a trade off.

- tink1217 on April 4th, 2007

I am a celebrity nanny and quite frankly I had no issue signing my confidentiality agreement. You will find amongst the better agencies that this is standard. Even if I was tempted with money or whatever I wouldn’t reveal the gossip for the benefit of the child! He is the important thing that I fight every day to protect and encourage the parents to understand that they are missing the most important stuff.
I am one of 4 people that work directly with the child let alone, the staff, bodyguards etc.
I just wish the parents would spend more time with him as I believe that is the root of his behavioural issues and his regression.
One thing I will say is that my experience has taught me how NOT to raise my children and for that I am so fortunate.
And to all those who criticise nannies, there are some of us out there who are very good but you must look hard, have several trials and pay well! Also us nannies/private teachers like me need to be fussy, I just turned down an amazing job with a so called Royal Family who upon arrival take your passport off you!

- Elisha on April 4th, 2007

I doubt that the Tom Cruise things is true – I know the woman who works as if nanny and she makes no secret about who she works for -so either they didn’t make her sign a contract or else he has no idea that she’s telling people stuff about him (none of it was bad stuff by the way).

As for the celebrities having 3 or 4 nannies: I think that’s totally ridiculous. I worked as a nanny for fifteen years, and I see nothing wrong with a person having a nanny for when they are WORKING. But I do have a problem with people having the nanny taking care of their child when they’re not at work and the parent is right there and could be taking care of the child but chooses not to. I’ve seen firsthand the negative effect that has on a child.

- Grace on April 4th, 2007

I wouldn’t say that by hiring a nanny, you’re “trading” your privacy.

As for the people who say they wouldn’t trust a nanny with their child-you don’t hire just any old chum off the street. Teachers, instructors, and coaches do terrible things to children all the time. It’s hard to completely trust anyone other than yourself, but I don’t think nannies should be labeled. Many families use nanny cameras, and agencies perform strict background checks on their candidates, and everything has to be up to date -physicals, immunizations, and they even speak with your primary care physician to make sure you’re not on any medication. Do parents do that for their child’s teacher? Their basketball coach? Their mother in-law? The bus driver? I don’t think so.

Most nannies are hired to replace the parents during work hours, and even longer. They are the ones who raise these children, and it’s not easy. It’s not easy following someone else’s rules when they go against your own and you know that they’re wrong, it’s not easy watching these parents spend thousands of dollars on trips for themselves while leaving their parent-deprived children home for a week on end, not even calling to check on them. It’s not easy to watch these children long for the attention of their parents.

As a nanny, I care for the children as if they were my own. It’s the best I can do, aside from hoping that they go on to lead healthy, happy lives and to feel that they are important and loved, even if it’s just by a nanny.

- Kristin on April 4th, 2007

I think it depends. If the celebrity mom or dad (or both) have expressed an interest to take time off and be with their children, they should DO it, not SAY they will and still hand their kids off to the nannies.

I’m confused about the Tom Cruise situation. On the one hand, i’m not surprised that someone with that much money and power has nannies, but on the other, I NEVER see the kids with a nanny, which is how it should be. Tom is ALWAYS with his children. WHEN are they with the nanny?

- MuffThumb on April 4th, 2007

that is exactly what I meant, Kristin. Lots of children of priviledge raised by nannies crave their own parents attention and affection and they just don’t get it. I don’t knock nannies at all! They are making a living caring for our most precious resource…our children. Its the parents I would love to have a sit down with. I have just seen and heard so many things and ALOT of well off families who do have nannies are in turmoil. The parents basically work or shop or vacation without their kids. The nannies raise them. Sure a vacation as a family once in awhile is nice, but most take the nanny with them!

Like I said before, I know two very well off families that have nannies and it works for them…WHILE THEY ARE WORKING. Other times they are with the kids doing what parents do. Playing with them, cooking for them, bathing them, going to dance recitals and hockey games. VERY RARELY does their nanny go to the dance recital or hockey game. And they do things as a family at least once a week. What they do is MAKE THE TIME and PRIORITIZE!

If your job always makes your child sad and leaves you not having time for them there is something wrong. Especially if you could afford to cut back in order to spend more time with the child you decided to have. Just my 2 cents!

- tink1217 on April 4th, 2007

Shely that family that you nanny to how many children are in the family!

- Kate on April 4th, 2007

MuffThumb: Apparently the children spend tons of time with a nanny, including on holidays, but just not in public. I think a lot of people who have round-the-clock nannies try to hide it from people – atleast the ones I know do.

- Grace on April 4th, 2007

Thanx, Grace. I know I’ve seen the Dempsey family with a nanny, and Anna Nicole Smith’s nanny for her daughter Dannielynn. I think I saw Julia Roberts’ nanny as well.

Not to be biased, but If I saw the Cruise children with their nanny, I wouldn’t care as much. the other celebs I dont consider as busy, so I dont see why they need a nanny. I can see why the Cruises need one.

Although WHY do you need a nanny for a 11 and 13 year old? Unless it’s just a nanny for Suri.

- MuffThumb on April 4th, 2007

Hmmmm.. I don’t think I would have a nanny – I don’t have kids – But I’d want to be the one they called mummy. My Aunt was really upset because one of her boys called their nanny mummy. So Yeah, I don’t think I would have one.

- Aura on April 4th, 2007

MuffThumb: It’s been a few years since I’ve spoken to this person, so I don’t know if she’s now Suri’s nanny or not. As far as why a person needs a nanny for children the ages of Isabella and Connor: I don’t know what age it’s legal to leave kids home alone but I think it’s about 12 and at that time the oldest wasn’t quite 12 yet.

- Grace on April 4th, 2007

To Kate, I believe you are asking me how many children are in the family I nanny for, and it is 3. For many of you who seem to be bashing the idea of nanny, it is a personal decision and one that takes a lot of time, thought and effort. My employers spent lots of time and consideration with background checks, driving records, etc…many are right in saying you do not just hire someone off the street. Also many do not know the schedule of the nanines. Someone might say wow that we have 3 nannies at my current family but one works 50 hours, I work 15 to help her out, and the other works around 5-10. My family is very giving and helps us in soo many ways imaginable. As far as children becoming attached to the nanny, it is no different than them becoming attached to their aunt/cousin so I do not see the argument between family and nannies. I hear the arguments because yes there are bad nannies, just like there are bad doctors, lawyers, and parents too. Also remember that many of these families (especially the later in life parents) were just mom and dad before kids and used to their “lifestyle”. It’s easy for many of you to tell me that they should quit their job and spend all their time with their children which is hard. 15 years of the same in a marriage changes the dynamic when a child is brought in and thus sometimes a nanny is needed during the switch period. All in all, I love being a nanny and my family is wonderful..they are the best parents with wonderful children who are just like every other family with their fair share of problems, issues, and concerns. Some of you should stop putting celebrities on such a high pedastool…they are people too and there is NOTHING wrong with being a mother and needed help.

- Shelby on April 4th, 2007

Awww sound like the best family any nanny can work for! You are so lucky!! I toally agree that you saying!! Thanks so much for answering my question! And how old are the kids you nanny for?

- Kate on April 4th, 2007

Thanks Kate, they are an amazing family and I am soo lucky because there are some hard families out there. Also please feel free to email me with any questions, I’ve gotten a few already! The Mother was previously married and father as well. They both had daughters and met when they were young. They have been together for 10 years now and the girls are 12 and 11 (we have shared custody of the 11 year old and full of the 12). Like I mentioned they were used to being the girls and them for 8 years and wanted a child together. They tried for years with difficulty, infertility and one sad miscarriage however were gracious enough to welcome another daughter who is now 17 months old!! All of the girls are absolute dolls and I feel honored to be chosen in playing a part of these girl’s childhood and lives…what a huge responibilty but also wonderful trust to give someone. I love kids but unfortunately I’m too young (19) so as they say it’s the best birth control lol.

- Shelby on April 4th, 2007

I am a single mom who works part-time from home. I’ve got two kids (ages 3 and 6) and a part time nanny since my divorce. She comes in M-Thursday from 4pm to 7:30pm. Just long enough for me to get some grocery shopping done, food cooked and on the table, and some laundry completed.

We “trade” off kids – for example, giving them a bath, brushing teeth, and putting them to bed, although I say prayers for both children each night.

My nanny doesn’t do homework with my children, take them to school, dress them, or take them to parties, but simply occupies their time so I can actually get some stuff done for myself – work a bit, check my email, call a friend.

I am almost never gone-always here when the nanny is here. I am lucky to be able to afford her. As a single parent who has nearly full-time custody, I need that little ‘break’ each day with a bit of help.

I feel sorry for kids whose parents do virtually nothing with them. It is the simple things, like reading a book, dying easter eggs, coloring, or taking a bath that the most special moments can come out between parent and child.

Fortunately, I can still experience all those things while having a nanny part-time.

- Allison on April 4th, 2007

I would love to have one just so I could have my own private babysitter. However I would still love, cuddle, read too and take care of my children. If I had money I would definatly do the nanny thing rather then the day care thing. Much safer and much more selective. BTW no person would bath my children unless I really knew them well.

- JoyJoy on April 4th, 2007

What people need to remember that there is always two sides of the story. You hear all this nightmare stories about nannies but as the earlier commenters have point out, there are the good ones too.

Different perspective here. My parents got our first nanny when I was a year old so for as long as I can remember I was always surrounded by nannies and chauffeurs. Which sounds incredibly Donald Trump but in Indonesia everything is cheaper, including labour. Growing up I see my parents for half an hour tops in the mornings, on the afternoons we usually went about our own business, weekends are our family time. People might read this and say oh my God you poor thing, but honestly, it’s not bad. I never once experienced the cliched nanny stories like crying for the nanny instead of my mum. I’m a lot closer to my parents than most people I know. I’m twenty, currently living overseas, I talk to my mum every day and she’s my best friend.

I’m not saying it’s all because of the nanny but having help around means a lot. My parents have the financial advantage of being able to send me and my brothers to really good schools, and when my brother was diagnosed with epilepsy he can get the best treatments possible. It would’ve been impossible if my mum had been a stay at home mum. Not to mention she’d probably go crazy not working. You hear celebrities say that they’re more fulfilled and can be better mothers when they’re working and it does sound like an excuse but in my mum’s case it’s 100% true.

As for someone who asked why would older kids need nannies, my brothers are sixteen and eighteen, our nanny don’t do things like help with school works anymore (though I imagine with 13 year olds they would), now she does houseworks, mostly. Cook, clean, remind them to take their medicine, flush their ecstasy pills down the toilet. KIDDING. No, really, she makes sure they’re being good boys

“Would you trade your privacy to have the help?” Haha, I agree with Christine, the only difference is that we can’t walk around naked.

- stephanie on April 5th, 2007

I had a part-time nanny until I was about 12, who looked after my younger sister and I after school until my parents got home from work and during work hours on school holidays… and I liked it! I definitely liked having a nanny more than going to childcare or after-school/vacation care. Our parents were there for all the important things so I never had any sort of abandonment complex, and my nannies (I had 3 at different times over the years, not at once!) were lovely. It was like being looked after by an older sister, or a cool young aunt. Now that I’m 19, I can say that I’d have no problems with hiring a part-time nanny for my future kids.

- Kat on April 5th, 2007

Quote: “The nanny is responsible for packing lunches, preparing dinner, playing games, reading bedtime stories, overseeing homework assignments, bathing the children, making sure they brush their teeth, dressing them appropriately, picking up after them, and transporting them to and from school, karate class, the chiropractor, Spanish class, birthday parties at other celebrities’ homes and any other trip.”

Um, isn’t that what the parent should be doing? Why do these celebrities have children anyway when they’re just going to dump them with a nanny. They’re too obsessed with their careers to know what is happening in their childrens day to day lives. It really saddens me.

- Vanessa on April 7th, 2007

I don’t think all celebrities are lazy. They have oodles of money. Why shouldn’t they hire nannies? Celebrities do work – many of them work very hard, even if they are “entertainers.”

Nannies who take care of other peoples’ children deserve a world of credit.

I’ll tell you what gets my goat, though. Nannies who are totally disloyal and gossip, on a regular basis, about their employers.

I think it’s wrong for Nannies to use their employees as a way to make themselves more interesting, more entertaining. This is never a commendable quality in anyone (disloyalty) and that goes for a Nanny, too, whether it be a nanny for a celeb. or to a Nanny to a regular, average couple.

- Darcy on April 26th, 2007

This article seems a bit unrealistic my best friend works for a celebrity and was hired by a company she’s a live in Nanny and the job is frustrating as any other would be because of so many different activities that the child has to encounter but they pay her 150 daily. They only have another nanny during the weekends but I don’t know where this article gets the payment rates and all the other madness like 3 or 4 nannies unless they have more than 3 children then it’s obvious that if they have so much money they would hire extra nannies so each child gets the best individual care possible. Everything else and all the celeb nanny talk is just madness prob the nannies that tried to take advantage is because obviously they want to make more money sort of like to get retired and if that is so wrong they should check their working agreements make better ones and sue them afterwards.

- Rosy on January 17th, 2008