Jada Pinkett Smith on the hardest thing she has ever done as a mother
Actress Jada Pinkett Smith, 35, who is to appear in the film Reign Over Me, with Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler, sat down with Redbook Magazine, and gave a raw and honest look into the time when she was carrying her first baby with Will Smith, who she married shortly after finding out they were pregnant. She also talked about her relationship with her children, Willow, 6, Jaden, 8, and Trey, 14.
On dealing with the hard issues
I remember when the whole Michael Jackson thing was going down and Trey asked me, "Mommy, what is molestation?" For me to have to explain to him about his hero being charged with molestation is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Those are moments that we try to protect our kids from. We don’t want to see them fall. But I would rather not lie, and be here to catch my child when he falls. Then, I can cradle him. Life can be harsh, but your child needs to know that you’re there. You can’t lie. Kids always know when you’re lying and my kids know that I don’t lie to them. I tell them how it is.
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Jada is grateful that her children trust her.
They share everything with me. Being a parent can be hard — and especially now that Trey is 14, some of the things he wants to share with me? Oh, boy! But to have that line of communication is so important.
On her children being "little people" not "little kids"
I don’t dictate what they should and shouldn’t do, and I think that is why we have their trust. Parents are always trying to find out the formula for a beautiful outcome, like How do I make sure my kid doesn’t do drugs? Guess what? There is no formula. You just do the best you can.
When asked whether she ever felt she was losing her identity
Yes. For me, I had to learn how to be Jada and Mrs. Smith and Mommy all at the same time. When we become a wife or a mom, we’re told, "That’s it. That’s all your life is now." That’s not true. And what’s even more interesting, I have found, is how much better a wife and mother Jada is when I don’t stifle my spirit. We have to find ways to take care of ourselves in addition to caring for whomever we have to care for. We have to remember not to lose the essence of who we are.
For Jada’s first Mother’s Day, Will gave her a painting of a women who looked as if she was mourning because this was how Will saw Jada when they first got engaged.
I knew that my marriage and my pregnancy at the time were a death. They were a death of an old me that I wasn’t sure I was ready to get rid of. But what I realized was that the rebirth of the new Jada outweighed the death of the old. Every time I look at that painting, I remember that moment and how much my life and my heart of flourished since then. I was so afraid, but I’m a better person because of it.
Source: Redbook, April 2007 issue
