CBB quoted in Us Weekly about "Ryder's Pacifier Problem?"

Us Weekly asked us to weigh in about Kate Hudson‘s son Ryder Robinson‘s pacifier habit for their January 1, 2007 issue.  While we personally have no beef against kids who are addicted to their paci’s, we let them know about what doctors say.  Click Read More to see exactly what we told them.

We gave Us Weekly the following info, but all they used was this phrase.  Notice how we give props to our readers!

Ryder Robinson is almost always seen with a pacifier plugged in his mouth (his brand of choice is the Gerber Nuk Orthodontic) and Celebrity Baby Blog readers always comment on it.  They are definitely divided about it.  Many feel he’s way too old to be using one while others are say their own children used pacifiers for a long time without a problem.  It’s definitely unusual for a celebrity kid of his age to have a pacifier.  By letting him keep sucking on that pacifier, mom Kate Hudson may be perceived as overly permissive but in general, they are more disturbed about her letting his hair grow so long (though she did –just- cut it to a cute bob), thinking that he looked like a girl. 

Just like Kate decided to cut Ryder’s hair, she might want to think about weaning him from the pacifier. The older he gets, the more it will bother people, but more importantly there is definitely reason for concern.  According to Dr. Sears, pacifier use can cause damage to teeth of 2-3 year olds when intense sucking causes upper front teeth to protrude and other tooth alignment issues.  It can also cause issues with speech delays (because they are not experimenting with sounds) and may lead to increased ear infections.  But for all we know, maybe she has a plan in place.  Maybe she only lets him have it when they’re not home (and the photos we see are obviously not at home)?  Maybe she’s working to wean him.  Another thing to consider – Since a pacifier is a soothing object, maybe she felt guilty taking it away from him because of her split with Chris.

Things Kate can do to wean Ryder off his pacifier include distracting him with other things when he wants the pacifier, letting him trade the pacifier for something he really wants, or make the pacifier hard to find by "losing it" or hiding it. Other popular solutions include "gifting" the pacis to a younger sibling or friend’s baby, leaving them for the "paci fairy," or discussing the situation with an older toddler and choosing a specific night to end paci use.

What did you and your children do to finish up their time with the paci?

Comments

Erika on January 2nd, 2007

I just decided this weekend to take my 2 year old daughters paci away. She is one of those who would not go anywhere without it, and I mean I would be in places and she would lose one and I would have to go and buy her a new one because she would spaz out. But now not only have her teeth started to stick out, she has has two cavities do to the paci, So on New Years Eve I decided that was it. I told her that we have to give the paci to a new baby because she is a big girl and she dont need it anymore. She is big into Dora and I told her to look and Dora becuase Dora does not have a paci..it worked she hasnt had it since Sunday early morning and everytime she ask I tell her a new baby has it and she is a big girl now like Dora…;-)

tink1217 on January 2nd, 2007

well, I have always thought a paci after the age of 2 is ridiculous. I mean, I see kids who are 4 yrs old with a paci and it makes me cringe. But, I don’t like to bash. Its her choice and her kid. We don’t know what she is doing about it. She may be trying to wean him. My daughter took one til she was a year old and then just threw it out of her crib one day and never wanted it again. Strange, I know! MY son never took one. He wouldn’t keep any kind of paci in his mouth. I tried 4 or 5 different kinds. He didn’t like any. No biggie, he wasn’t a baby who really needed one.

As for Ryder’s hair…I LOVE his hair!!! It’s Kate’s choice anyway. When he gets a bit older maybe he will want it short. But, personally, I love the look.

Megan on January 2nd, 2007

I say they need to back off. I highly doubt that Kate doesn’t realize there are some concerns with long term pacifier use. But we are not the parents of that boy nor do we know his specific needs. It sounds like he’s going through a lot from simply being a celebrity baby not to mention his parents’ seperation.

Unless its something blatant like not putting the child in a carseat, BACK OFF and let her be the good mommy she seems to be.

jackieofhearts on January 2nd, 2007

My daughter took a nuk until she was three, but she only got it in bed. And one day, I decided that was enought and threw them away. She had a younger brother and he kept his until 2 1/2 and he lost 3 in 4 days and I decided to quit cold turkey. And he was an addict! It was hard to do, but it is better than being married to one and having to search all over the place when they want it.

Candice on January 2nd, 2007

Mom’s who won’t throw out the pacifier (Or “Kiki”, as we call them) after a year are a big pet peeve of mine. I nanny for a woman who’s very “whatever” about the situation. Her girls (two and FOUR) are still addicted to the kiki; when I get there in the morning, they’ve always got one in their mouth. But the second mom leaves, they go bye-bye. No matter how hard they beg, they don’t see those things until nap time.

When it was time for my nephews to stop using them, my brother and SIL simply threw them in the trash. It was hard for a few days, but they’re now five and seven-year-old boys with GREAT teeth.

Mandy on January 2nd, 2007

I am lucky that when my daughter was about 10 months old she spit her paci out of her mouth and that was it. She simply decided she didn’t want it anymore. I did, however, have people in my life that critized me and my husband for letting her use a pacifier at all. My cousin’s girlfriend told me that I “wasn’t being an active mom” because Emerson used a pacifier…WHATEVER!!! I am of the mind that most moms do what’s best for their children. I will not judge Kate!

Amy on January 2nd, 2007

My son is 16 months and he still takes one but only when going to sleep in his crib at night. After he falls asleep he spits it out. Funnily enough he never used one until he was 10 months old and then wanted one when falling asleep. I don’t see anything wrong with it under age 2 unless a child has it in his mouth all the time. But 3 is a little too old, especially when a child can understand that he is too old for one.

Snark the News on January 2nd, 2007

Just take the darn thing away, the kid will get over it.

Andrea on January 2nd, 2007

It’s a little late now, but the Christmas before each of my kids turned 3 we left them for Santa Claus so he could give them to babies who need them.

Neither of them had a problem with it once they knew Santa took them.

rebekalynn on January 2nd, 2007

I took my son off his pacifier @ 15 months old. I cut the tip off of it. Just a lil snip. No suction, no desire for it.
He put it in his mouth, pulled it out, looked at it, and threw it, didn’t want it again. In fact, he’d see it on the floor, look at it, pick it up, and throw it, he’d get mad at it, HAHA.

I don’t judge Kate for her son’s pacifier use. I agree with the other poster who said I am SURE she’s aware that she needs to break the habit. Kate is a mom who travels alot and hte pacifier probably provides some stability and comfort to her son in their not so routine lifestyle.

Collette on January 2nd, 2007

My 5 year old DD took a binky until she was 3, our dentist had no concerns our pediatrician had no concerns. She gave it up for new years when she was 3, it was her choice. She has no lasting effects from using it and her teeth are perfect. Her two and half year old sister still uses hers and she’ll drop it when she’s ready, she just gets it at bedtime. If she’s not in her bed she doesn’t get the binky.

Honestly I think other moms need to mind their own business. Every child has their comfort item, for some it’s a binky. Unless it bugging you about your child back off!

Aleah on January 2nd, 2007

I don’t have children yet, but when I was babysitting that one little girl, she was terrible with her pacifier. She just wouldn’t let it go and would literally go hysterical if I didn’t have it when she asked for it. Even her parents were desperate because they couldn’t wean her. Then one day, she was around 2 1/2, she threw yet another tantrum for her pacifier, so I took ALL of them (she had like 3 or 4) and threw them in the bin, then asked her if she wanted them now. She never asked for it again and her parents never used pacifiers on her siblings.
I know what I did might sound shocking to some people an I honestly wouldn’t recommend it if your child isn’t completely depend on the pacifier, but I promise she really was impossible.

stacy on January 2nd, 2007

I have to put in my two cents as well. I am another that cringes when I see an older child with a pacifier. I’m talking, any child over the age of two. I think it’s pure laziness on the parents part as all you really need to do is take it away from the child. They may cry for a few days, but it’s not that hard. My daughter was 14 months old and I took it away. She cried two nights and then never asked for it again, and she doesn’t look silly walking around with one in her mouth. Not only does it look dumb, but it can also delay their speech development. Factual information!

J.M. on January 2nd, 2007

I can’t believe people are so focused on a pacifier when worse things could be happening! And for US weekly to run a story on it wow they must be in need of things to publish!

That being said. I babysit an almost 2 year old who uses one. BUT she does not walk around with it in her mouth. She gets it for bedtime only. When she’s tired she’ll say, “bink, bed” – once she awakes we put it away. Out of sight out of mind. Sometimes when she’s upset she’ll cry for it but I never give it to her I just remind her it’s for night night and just continue to cuddle her. Sometimes it’s just too easy to just give it to them. But I think children over 2 walking around with them look really ridiculous.

The other day I was shopping and saw a child that was probably 4-5 (or just a big 2-3 year old) walking around the store with one. The child looked happy so I saw no reason why she had to have it. But I guess some parents use them more as a way of making the child be quiet then actually communicating with them.

I don’t have problems with pacifiers and think no child should be denied one as a baby but I think by age 2 the limitations on when and where they get them should def. be of concern.

J.M. on January 2nd, 2007

I would also add (a little OT)that I am more or less bothered by a bottle in a child’s mouth over the age of 2 then a binky. I think bottles simply are pure laziness. After 2 years old there should be no reason why a child can’t drink from a sippy cup, straw cup or for that matter a regular cup. I worked in a preschool and there were 3 and 4 year old children who had no concept of how to drink from a cup!! They’d spil it down themselves or look at it like “what do I do with it!”

But it’s different w/ every parent. To me 2 year olds are no longer babies they are toddlers and sometimes parents have a hard concept of letting their “babies” grow up into independent children!

millie on January 2nd, 2007

My kids both were addicted to their pacifiers for a long time. With our daughter who was premature we decided to let her do it until told by doctors it was time to let go. Since her teeth grew very uneven our dentist had a talk with her (without us being present) and told us we had to get rid of it. We were so stressed out about it since she wouldn’t go anywhere w/o her “pinkie” but she told us “doctor said ‘no more pinkie’” and that was it! She never asked for it again. She’s 17 now and has perfect teeth without having braces. Our son just threw it away when he got tired of it.. I recommend not replacing an old, nasty pacifier with a new one–the kid will get sick of it as well and eventually throw it away. That being said, every mother should decide for herself when and how to wean a child from a pacifier..I cringe when I see a preschool kid with a pacifier but then it’s their and their parents’ choice. Same with hair.. I don’t know why people have a problem with Ryder’s hair.

millie on January 2nd, 2007

P.S. pacifier use is easier to control than thumb sucking.. you can always take it away. If a child is comforted by sucking on something, then why not have it until it’s time to throw it away. My son nursed exclusively for well over a year and he STILL wanted his pacifier. He’s a very independent, calm and self-assured kid now.

A.C. on January 2nd, 2007

Wow Stacy, that is a bit rude. I am by no means lazy! My son is 2 1/2 and he still uses a pacifier. His pediatrician is fine with and so am I. He doesn’t have a speech delay at all. In fact he speaks better than his sister did at this age. I don’t understand why everyone is in such a rush to make children grow up so fast?

Cindy on January 2nd, 2007

im lucky, my baby refuses to use a pacifier since he was 4 months. My only problem is weening him from breast-feeding but he is only a year old so im in no hurry…any ideas however would be awesome…i think he has taken to breastfeeding for comfort.

teenyz on January 2nd, 2007

Here’s a crazy idea: never introduce binky/kiki/pacifier in the first place and then it’s never an issue. I know, unheard of!LOL My husband and I did that with both of our kids. Just never introduced it. We actually got kind of annoyed at the nurse staff at hospital after each birth because they would keep slipping one in. But, each time the nurses did that, we just took it out and tossed it into trash. Hubby and I had both seen enough parents held slave to the pacifier’s whereabouts. It’s amazing, but babies really can survive without one – they sleep fine, breath fine, entertain themselves fine…… I quite honestly don’t really know what a pacifier is actually for. All I’ve ever seen is it fall out and baby screams until it’s returned. “Great” pacification going on there.:)

Paulina on January 2nd, 2007

This always worked for me:
The Pacifier Fairy is coming to pick up your pacifier. She’ll leave a neat little toy… Gone, poof. Never leave any strays lying around and DO NOT give in!!!!!!!!!!!!!–Like buying another.
We always did this on a special day; I.E. their birthdays. (Incidently, both of my children were struck with the Pacifier Plague.)

Collette on January 2nd, 2007

teenyz that’s great for YOU and YOUR kids but some of us have kids with other needs. I can’t imagine my daughters going through some of the tests that they have without it. It’s easy for you to judge, but like I said earlier, moms need to mind their OWN business!

A on January 2nd, 2007

It’s very sad that Kate is judged on everything to do with the way she is raising Ryder. It’s her choice if she wants his hair long & it’s her choice on when to take his pacifier away.

Sunbeam on January 2nd, 2007

Who cares if he uses it? My stepdaughter used one until she was 5 years old, is 18 now and has beautiful teeth without braces, and is healthy and well-adjusted.

We adults are allowed to have our “crutch” of choice, such as our morning coffee, weekend drink, chocolate, etcetera, when life gets tough, and you can have those things in moderation and be healthy. Why should a child be any different?

Using something to comfort us and get us through a bad patch (such as your parents splitting up, which is the case with Ryder and with my stepdaughter as well) is not always bad. Leave the kid alone.

tink1217 on January 2nd, 2007

teenyz, about not ever introducing a paci…babies have a very real need to suck even when not breast or bottle feeding. Sucking a thumb can damage teeth much more than a paci so I would encourage a paci if needed. There is nothing wrong with using a pacifier at all. Many many babies need to suck more. Some don’t.

Ana on January 2nd, 2007

Oh come one! There are kids who use pacifiers almost till their 5, and their completely normal afterwards. Ryder’s not even 3! People are overreacting, and he’s not important. I know other kids, personally, who used pacifier till that age and even older. Other celebrity kids used till late, like Sarah Jessica Parker’s son James and it wasn’t such an issue. If it was that serious, Kate wouldn’t let him use it! Many doctors say, to let kids use it longer.

Happy New Year, by the way.

Liesl on January 2nd, 2007

My son let go of his paci the day he turned 3 (also same age I gave up mine as a kid). He only used it to sleep, ever since he was a baby. We told them the paci fairy was going to come, take away his paci and leave a gift (like the tooth fairy). So, we bought him the DVD he wanted and put it right where the paci was. He never asked for it or complained again. s for the bottle, he gave his bottles up when he turned 1 and took sippy cups for a while, until he got tired of them and wanted regular cups, like Mommy & Daddy drink from.

ashley on January 2nd, 2007

who cares if a kid has a paci or a bottle for that matter? i do not see what the big deal is! my daughter is almost one and doesn’t use a bottle or paci (she is breastfed), but i don’t see any problem with either.
some people have nothing better to do than to worry about what someone else’s child uses for comfort.
Get Over IT!!!

jaclyn on January 2nd, 2007

Cindy, you may want to look at Kellymom.com for breastfeeding after 12 months info and weaning info. As for breastfeeding for comfort, that is totally okay to do. It isn’t the same as giving a bottle when a child cries as a baby nursing for comfort nurses differently and doesn’t get as much milk from you than. Breastfeeding is actually a great tool for comforting the baby.
As for Kate Hudson, she just got divorced from her husband and maybe the paccy is a comfort for her son. I would be hesitant in her situation to take it away from him cold turkey because he is probably having a hard time dealing with the loss of an active dad at home.

Lori on January 2nd, 2007

When my daughter was 2 1/2 she wouldnt stay in bed. I told her I would take away her paci if she got out of bed again. she got out of bed and threw it over the gate on her door. So it went away. And she never asked for it again. But she still wouldn’t stay in bed. LOL

Northern Girl on January 2nd, 2007

I personally believe the choice is up to each individual to decide whether their child should have a pacifier and at which age to get rid of it. That being said, I personally find it extremely annoying when a child at speaking age still uses a pacifier. I especially dont like it when they’re trying to talk with it in their mouth!! Even though I personally wouldn’t want my toddler using one, I would never impose on a parent my desire to get rid of anyone else’s child’s pacifier. It’s their kid to parent, and it’ll also be their problem (or not…) when their kid is addicted to it and throws a fit when they dont have it.

antij1 on January 2nd, 2007

My daughter was through with her pacifier at 6 months old. She was in love with it at first and then one day she simply lost interest. Children don’t need to have these in their lives for long periods. I’m afraid that in Ryder’s case, it might end up impacting his teeth in a negative way.

Andrea on January 2nd, 2007

I don’t see how sucking on a pacifier can ruin a child teeth when they loose their teeth at around age five or so anyway…. now when they loose their baby teeth and permanant ones or forming then I can understand the huge obession with kids at that age sucking on a paci. I agree, we don’t know what she is doing about it, nor do I think we should. It’s her choice, and I don’t see it as making a huge imapct. I think we get way to involved over the little things. Yes, I personally wold try to get my kids off of it by now, but it is not the most importnat thing…

BELLA on January 2nd, 2007

DON’T KNOW ABOUT OTHER PLACES, BUT HERE IN THE US DOCTORS RECOMED PUTTING YOUR BABY DOWN TO SLEEP WITH A PACIFIER. THEY THINK KNOW IT MIGHT PREVENT SIDS. BOTH MY BOYS USED THEM TILL THEY WERE 3 AND NEVER HAD AN EAR INFECTION OR PROBLEMS WITH THEIR TEETH.
SO I THINK IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE CHILD, IF THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE BAD TEETH OR LOTS OF EAR INFECTIONS!

Carrie Jo on January 2nd, 2007

I don’t understand why people care so much about something that doesn’t affect them and doesn’t hurt anybody. If you don’t like that Kate lets Ryder use a pacifier or keeps his hair long or dresses him in certain clothes for that matter, too bad! It’s none of your business. You can decide that stuff for your own kids.

momtoone on January 2nd, 2007

Ok, I may have agreed before that 2 is getting a bit old for pacifiers, and 3 is WAY too old… but now that I’m a mom and have a 1 year old with one… I don’t see what the big deal is. I agree that any mom could probably wean their child off of one of they wanted… some babies just have more of a desire to suck than others. Mine was exclusively breastfed, but when he was done eating, he wanted nothing to do with me and my nipple. But he still wanted to suck. So instead of sucking his thumb, we gave him a pacifier. And when we’re ready to get him off of it, we will. It’s nice when he just needs a little break, he’ll go over, but his “Nukie” in, and sit for a minute. Then he’s off again, usually with the Nukie far behind him. When I was a baby, I took nothing. My brother and sister each had a pacifier. They both quit when they were around 2. My mom just kept them hidden during the day, would give them back to them at night, and then eventually they forgot to ask for them at night. Much easier than weaning from sucking a thumb. A friend of mine admitted that at night, she sucked her thumb until she was 11. A friend of ours has a 14 year old daughter who still does when she’s having an emotional time. I’m NOT saying every baby who sucks their thumb will do so for this long, but it’s not like you can cut the thumb off.
I don’t want anyone to think I’m bashing the anti-pacifier people either. It’s just different once you’re in the situation.

Muffy on January 2nd, 2007

Andrea,

It isn’t the teeth that are damaged; it is the shape of the mouth itself that changes. My niece, a prodigious paci user, actually sucked her mouth into a more narrow shape, which then had to be corrected. The dentist installed a metal bar in her mouth and every day we had to insert a key into the bar and slowly break the bones in her mouth/jaw. It wasn’t painful, but it was a pain to catch her each day to use the key on her, and much more difficult than if they had just taken the paci away at 2 yrs instead of letting her go as long as she wanted with it.

teenyz on January 2nd, 2007

Wow. Didn’t mean to offend. Was just trying to offer a different view point. I didn’t know the reasoning behind it was the thumb/suckling issue – you learn something new everyday.:) But, in replaying the fuzzy early memories of my children’s first months, even being pacifierless, they never seemed to want for anything (suck wise) and neither has ever sucked their thumb. They’re pretty much just two perpetually happy-go-lucky (and very spoiled) tots.

Christina on January 2nd, 2007

Some even older celebrity babies are still sucking their thumbs… why no “outrage” over that??

Honestly, since we don’t know his situation, special needs, and concerns over his parents’ pending divorce; and since it has absolutely no effect on any of us, I’d say let it go and leave him alone.

Anne on January 2nd, 2007

My daughter self-weaned from the pacifier at about 6 months, but that doesn’t mean I would have taken it away from her if she still had it at 1 year old. A lot of people say pacis and BFing don’t go hand in hand. But my husband is from Brazil which is very pro-breastfeeding and I was AMAZED by the amount of kids who were 4 and 5 sporting pacis. There it is very common and accepted. Kate has alwas been very European/unique in her ways. I say let them be!

Kaz on January 2nd, 2007

Having a blog does not make this Danielle person qualified to give Kate Hudson (or anyone else) parenting advice.

michelle on January 2nd, 2007

i don’t get why people get so “annoyed” at other people’s children’s habits. how is it any of your business to get “annoyed” by a child you don’t even know??!!

each parent has different standards and raises their kids the best they can. parenting is hard and you have to choose your battles. i bet there are a lot of worse things than letting your 2 or 3 year old have a pacifier…

joy on January 2nd, 2007

I never took a pacifier myself but my brother did until he was almost 3 (his teeth not fine). My one nephew took one for about 6 months then lost interest (probably bc his parents shoved it in his mouth constantly even though he didn’t want it)!!

My other nephews are almost 2 and still take it when they’re tired.

Teenyz – I kinda agree and disagree at the same time! Babies need to suck. It’s just what they do and imo shouldn’t be denied one. However you are right that they can live without it – it’s parents who usually can’t! I know a small child (breastfed) who won’t take one but she fusses ALL the time!!She is always looking for something to suck on but she refuses the binky…so I guess it’s kinda a tough thing bc even though her mother would like her to take the pacifier to kind of use in replacement from being breastfed every 1/2 hour the baby just won’t use it (but she has found her thumb a few times ).

I also know people my age who still suck their thumbs out of boredom, nervousness, or even when tired! I find it so wierd and odd. I truly would rather my child have a paci/binky then a thumb.

But I have heard of the “binky fairy” and most parents have been successful with it. So maybe I will tell my SIL about it so she can help ween her son.

I don’t really know what I will choose to do when becoming a parent. I know I will let them have it but if they refuse I am not going to persist. I will however make sure to remove it before the 2nd birthday even if they are highly attached. A few days of crying isn’t going to kill either one of us. Usually once they realize it’s not coming back they’ll be fine.

I also heard binky’s can cause ear infections from the constant sucking…but then heard they actually help? so what’s the story with that? do they or don’t they cause ear infections?

Campbell on January 2nd, 2007

On a personal level, SHE is Ryder’s mother and she knows what is best for HER son. Also, on a personal level the “paci issue” was a reallllll pet-peve for my husband. He cannot stand to see toddlers with paci’s or bottles. Having said that, I certainly agree with the professionals findings. I will assume that Kate is an informed mother, and is doing what she thinks is best for their particular circumstances. On another note, why on earth does it bother some people when a childs hair grows long? That one baffles me.

Jennifer on January 2nd, 2007

I got judged a lot because my son used his pacifier until he turned 6. We’ve gotten rude comments and glares when we go out and it can be really painful.

While my son looks typical, he has severe regressive autism and is unable to speak and has difficulty with sensory issues. The pacifier really helped him to calm himself and help him regain control when he would start hitting himself. (not uncommon for some autistic children). He gave it up when he turned 6, no tears.

Sometimes it’s better not to judge people, even celebrities. You might not know the whole story.

Have a happy and healthy 07!

XO,

Jenn

Lilybett on January 2nd, 2007

In Australia pacifiers are called dummies. I’m guessing mostly because you shove one in the kid’s mouth when they’re screaming to shut them up “make them dumb/mute” in the old sense of the word. I have a problem seeing that kind of parenting behaviour. Has anyone else ever seen a mum/mom holding a dummy to a screaming kid’s mouth and they aren’t taking it?

I have no problem with Ryder having one for comfort or kids who use them for sleeping past two or three. I just disagree with their use in those circumstances where it seems to be lousy or lazy parenting.

Punk_of_a_Tomboy on January 2nd, 2007

Sheesh, what’s the big deal? Why do some people care so much about other people’s kids? I hardly even nodice a ‘passy’ in kids mouths. I don’t remember having a passy when i was a baby and i don’t think my brothers has theirs for very long ethier. I still got crooked teeth. But to each his own. By the way, my crooked teeth are the least of my worries. I’m not getting braces any time soon.

Shmoo on January 2nd, 2007

It saddens me to see the pressure that parents are facing when they choose to not conform to current societal expectations of timely ‘growing up’. These expectations differ from era to ear, and from culture to culture, and yet here we are, so concerned about someone’s child not meeting these expectations that it actually makes the news. Do we really disrespect infancy and early childhood so much that we must sacrifice our children’s emotional wellbeing in order to end it before they are secure enough to move on? I think some soul-searching needs to happen. Why does it bother us so much to see a young child linger a little longer with one small vestige of an earlier time? Life is not a race to the finish. All this talk in the article of possible self-esteem issues and embarrassment that the child may encounter. And who is making the child feel this way? We are! We are creating a self-fufilling prophesy. We are saying, conform, or else we will reject you. And we are saying this to a child. I don’t think the child is the problem here. Developmental theory proposes that unless a child (or anyone at any stage)accomplishes the task of one stage, he/she will not be successful accomplishing future developmental tasks. In the hurry to shove children forcably along, we set them up for future challanges that may have been unnecessary. So it’s not really the child’s best interest to rush, it our own interest- in winning the ‘my child is more advanced then your child’ contest. And judging others who are losing this contest allows us to feel superior for a moment.

kateg on January 2nd, 2007

My son will be two on Jan 15 and only gets a pacifier for sleeping and after a while it falls out anyway. We originally gave him one because he was premature and had bad reflux and cramps and the pacifier soothed both him and us and helped encourage his sucking. Try to remember that not every use of the pacifier us just to shut kids up and every child has a different personality and needs. If I had to choose between a happy, calm child (as Ryder seems to be) with a pacifier or a cranky one without I know which I would rather have. I plan to use the paci-fairy trick at some point, but as we only use it privately I don’t see any need to rush.

Kori on January 2nd, 2007

My son was a few months over 2 when I got rid of them. He was sooooo addicted, I thought it would be a nightmare to get him off of them. One day I was so irritated with him whining for one that I took all the ones in the house, cut them up and threw them out in the backyard trash. he cried a little, but to my surprise that was it. He asked about them the next day but soon got over it completely. Cold turkey is the best way.

mdterp on January 2nd, 2007

We were lucky. Our daughter was done with her pacifier at 9 months old. She was never too attached to it. I hink that people should stop being so judgemental about what other parents do with their children. What works for some may not work for others. I’m sure that Kate understands what problems a pacifier can cause. I remember thinking that I would never do certain things once I had children. Boy, how things change once you actually have a child. We don’t know her situation or what goes on behind closed doors, so lets stop judging her and her family.

teenyz on January 2nd, 2007

Hi Joy!

In regards to babies needing to suck, maybe I just had kids, like you, or myself, who didn’t take/want a pacifier. My oldest had one in the beginning, but never took to it (later determined he was very autistic as well as premature – he couldn’t breastfeed and took an “excessive” amount of time to learn how to drink from a bottle period; lot of abilities came in very late and so in hindsight I don’t think he was ‘able’ to use a pacifier). With my youngest, daughter, she didn’t really seem interested in it. The nurse kept plopping it back in and insisting she take it and my daughter wasn’t agreeing. soooo, why force it on them? Neither children were ever fussy, beyond my son’s first days when he was STARVING. (but that’s another story!)

millie on January 2nd, 2007

I distinctly remember my mother-in-law stressing over a) pacifier use b) not potty training my children when they were year old c) breastfeeding them too long (in her opinion). My son never had a bottle and didn’t even know how to use it and she constantly asked me when I was going to wean him (he was completely weaned at 17 months but drank from a cup before). She raised her kids in the 50s when feeding was on schedule and kids were not supposed to be hugged too much and left to cry themselves to sleep so as not to be “spoiled”. I’m saying this to illustrate how attitudes towards childhood and motherhood change. Back then, mothers were told to put nasty stuff on their kids thumbs to discourage them from sucking. Did it help? Probably not, but surely caused a lot of anxiety. I believe there is no right or wrong as long as the child is thriving and happy. We also had a family bed with our son and that caused a lot of anxiety on her part.. as if this was going to damage the child! It did not and he’s far more self-confident than our daughter who was raised on schedule. All I’m saying is that young parents should relax and do what they think is right for their children.

Ana on January 3rd, 2007

Shmoo I agree with you

Tiffany on January 3rd, 2007

I get extremely annoyed when I see ANY child, not just a celebrity’s, displaying behaviors/involved in activities that aren’t age appropriate (i.e., using pacifiers and bottles after the 1st birthday, being strolled around in a stroller over 3 yrs old, breast-feeding children over a year old, etc.) I cringe when I see these mothers strolling around these gigantic children in the mall, and kids that are 3, 4, and 5 years old walking around with pacifiers in their mouths (as I stated before, I don’t even agree with it at 2). I guess that’s just what I’ve been raised to believe. I’m 25, and my mother told me that on my 1st birthday, she threw away the pacifier and the bottle. She said that I cried myself to sleep that night, but after that I was fine. As far as the breast-feeding is concerned, it’s a proven fact that breast milk has no more nutritional value once the child is 2. I hate when people attempt to compare to those in other countries saying “They breast feed their children until the children are 4 and 5 years old!!!”; well, that’s because in a lot of those cases, they don’t have any other choice!! Many of these countries are poor, and that’s the only way for many of those mothers to feed these children, or want to utilize the free method of feeding their children for as long as possible. We (as a society) always speak about how advanced America is, but when it comes to situations like these, we want to practice the ways of the less-advanced countries- amazing!

Shay on January 3rd, 2007

Ryder’s parents just split and everytime he goes out in public he has strangers swarming to take his picture. Jeez, I’d be on the binky too if I were him! Give the kid a break. He’s probably got a lot of stress for a 3 year old. I’m sure Kate is a good mom and being understanding, not lazy.
Most kids have the urge to suck for comfort long after a year old. That’s one of the reasons that breastfeeding can go on for years if the parent allows their child to naturally self wean.

Leslie on January 3rd, 2007

My daugther is 2 1/2 and i have to intentions of taking her pacifier away, or as she calls it, her “pie”. Her doctor is fine with it and so am I. She is in speech therapy but she is also in occupational as well b/c she was born early, so weather i take it or not she will have a speech problem and even her speech therapist and her dentist haven’t said anything about taking it away. in fact her dentist said her teeth were perfect!

Kate on January 3rd, 2007

WAY too old for a paci… he looks ridiculous with that thing.

Lauren on January 3rd, 2007

Pacifiers were created to soothe BABIES in order to fulfill their need to suck-NOT children with emotional issues. And I agree with Teenyz’s point that if parents never introduce a paci in the first place, it will never be an issue. If babies really want/need to suck, they will suck their thumbs, fingers, and/or hands. The whole pacifier issue really has more to do with the mindset of the parents than the child, and Ryder looks downright silly with an infant’s accessory in his mouth at the age of three.
Moreover, I don’t think anyone has mentioned another problem. Pacifiers aren’t only a problem because of how long children use them. They are also a problem because of how often they are used, such as in Ryder’s case IMO, allowing Ryder to sleep with a paci would bad enough, but 9 times out of 10, he is photographed with one in his mouth during normal daily routines. I seriously doubt he has an urgent need to suck every single time he goes out in public. Like I said,the issue of children with pacifiers has more to do with the parents than the kid.

zoe barras on January 4th, 2007

I think we should let Kate decide whats best for her son! I have four children and my youngest son is the same age as Ryder, he also has equally long hair and up until yesterday still had his pacifier in the day. As a mum who has been judged so many times for breastfeeding in public, using washable nappies, having 3 home-births and anything and everything that everyone seems to have an opinion! Maybe we should stop judging Kate (who has just recently gone through a separation) and concentrate on our own children!

janae on January 4th, 2007

Well, Its kate’s decision if she wants her child to have a pacifier but i personally think he’s way to old, my cousin’s child is 3 1/2 and still has a pacifier, i think thats crazy, she says she uses it to calm him down, and its hard for her to control, 3 boys age 9 months, 3 1/2, and 7, she said the 9 month old when he was a newborn didnt even like the paci and would spit it out and she got mad and she forced the paci on that child, he uses it sometimes but doesnt really want it the, 3 1/2 year old uses his more,when we were at the mall one time and the 3 1/2 year old and 7 year old got into a fight and the 3 1/2 started screaming and crying and the 3 1/2 year old took the 9 month olds paci from him, it was crazy.

Diane on January 5th, 2007

i think people need to mind there own buisnesses and get on with there lives!!!!
my son is nearly 2 and a half and he still has a dummy, hes had it since he was born its his only way of comfort!!
it might be Ryders only way of comfort also hes not that old hes only like three isnt he? i think if they are over 3and a half it might get concerning but just give the kid a break!!

btw i took my son to the dentist and he said he has perfectly healthy teeth there all alligned proply, no decay!!!
and thats 2 half years worth of sucking on a dummy!!!

Zari on May 7th, 2007

I simply hate pacifiers!!! My boyfriends son is soo addicted to the pacifier that if it falls out of his mouth when he is asleep, he will definitely spaz out! My philosophy is, if you are old enough to pick up the pacifier and put it in your own mouth, then you are definitely too old for the pacifier!! Hence the word…pacify!!!