Martha Stewart’s daughter undergoing fertility treatments

by auditioning contributor Jacqueline

Earlier this fall, Martha Stewart admitted in an interview for Life magazine that she really wants grandchildren. Daughter Alexis Stewart, 41, is trying to make her mother’s wish come true.

On her SIRIUS radio show, Whatever on her mother’s channel, Alexis spoke candidly about her efforts to become pregnant through artificial insemination (she is using an anonymous sperm donor). She has undergone fertility treatments for several months without success. Alexis is frustrated and depressed by her inability – thus far – to conceive. She admits that she often wonders if it will ever happen.

Alexis is in a predicament many women have faced. How did you stay positive when every pregnancy test you take comes back negative?

Comments

It can be frustrating! I also underwent artificial insemination with an anonymous sperm donor. The first 2 times I tried I got pregnant but immediately miscarried. Then I tried and tried and tried. It is hard month after month, but for me personally my faith is what got me through. I truly believed if God wanted me to have a baby, I would. The love, support, and prayers of family members is also extremely important. Finally it all paid off and I got pregnant, and this time I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Even with all of the frustration and disappointment, it was worth it in the end!

- P Dawn on December 13th, 2006

At 41, Alexis is in a more difficult age bracket for fertility treatments and doctors express concern that many women are delaying childbearing until they are older. Many people can be helped to conceive but there’s still a large number, especially older women, who can’t no matter how much money they have or how many different kinds of treatment they undergo. This must be so frustrating and terribly heartbreaking. I wish Alexis well in her endeavour to become a mother.

- Kresta on December 13th, 2006

As I sit here, 16 weeks pregnant with an IVF baby, my heart goes out to Alexis and any woman trying to have a baby unsuccessfully. The repeated negative test is so very painful, a pain which can only be understood if you have been through it. I can’t say that any one thing got me through it other than sheer force of will. Support from family and friends is great, but in some ways this is a very lonely journey, even if you have a supportive husband or mate, as I do. It is you alone with that nasty pregnancy test, feeling that your body has let you down, _again_.

My word of wisdom is as Churchill said, “When you are going through hell, keep going”.

- Carolyn on December 13th, 2006

I truly feel for her. I went throught infertility treatments to get pregnant with my first daughter and it happened quickly for me. We then tried for a 2nd child and went through all kinds of infertility treatments and it didn’t work. I was devestated. When ever one of my friends would get pregnant or I would see a pregnant woman, I would feel so jealous. I didn’t like the person I was becoming.

We finally came to realize that in order to expand our family, we would adopt. We are now in the process of adopting from China and couldn’t be more happy about it! I don’t think that adoption is for everyone. It truly has to be in your heart. Some people view adoption as second best, but it isn’t. That child will be very much your own even though you didn’t give birth to it.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to let people know not to give up hope. There are ways to create a family even if you can’t give birth to a child.

- Jessica on December 13th, 2006

Wow! You know it is a really hard thing to deal with. I concieved my first child with almost no effort at all. The 2nd time around has been the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. We are going on 3 and a half years now and on our second round of clomid. I have not done the artificial inseminayion yet but it doesnt lokk like we are far from it. I have been diagnosed with PCOS. It is such a hard thing to cope with. And it makes it worse that I haven’t heard about anyone that has got pregnant with PCOS. I wish her and everyother women the best of luck!

- Alicia on December 13th, 2006

Nearly 5 years on I am still trying to stay positive despite IVF failure.

- Simone on December 13th, 2006

This is for Alicia: I have PCOS and was diagnosed 2 years ago after having irregular periods for about a year after going off the pill to try to get pregnant. I underwent 6 rounds of clomid with my regular OB/GYN (the issue was I was not ovulating). Nothing happened at all. Then he referred me to an infertility clinic and they gave me 1 round of clomid with femara added, and I got pregnant on the first try. I am now 8 weeks. I just wanted to let you know that PCOS does not mean you will not get pregnant, it’s just more difficult. You will get through it. I know what it’s like, the whole thing totally sucks and it’s worse when you’re overly hormonal from the drugs. But don’t worry, there are success stories out there, and I’m sure you will soon get yours

- Michelle on December 13th, 2006

Wow, I can’t believe Alexis is 41, she looks so much younger. Anyway, best of luck to her.

- Maximum Big Surprise on December 13th, 2006

Poor thing.. it must be devastating. I think she was married once but obviously it didn’t work out. In any case, she has my best wishes! I can’t wait for Martha to be a grandma.. She once said that her biggest regret in life was that she didn’t have a second child… I recall her saying “I’d give anything to have a son now” (in a sense that it would have been great to have a daughter AND a son).

- millie on December 13th, 2006

How do you stay positive? Well, many of us who have gone through this don’t really stay positive all the time. Each month that I had a negative test, I would feel depressed for quite a while. After a week or two, I was able rustle up some hope for the next cycle. We also did 4 artificial inseminations and 4 IVFs, none successful. When an IVF fails, it feels like your world is pulled out from under you. I had the same feeling happened when our first adoption didn’t happen because the birth mother changed her mind. We have gone on to adopt successfully, and are elated, but the sting of infertility never completely goes away.

My heart goes out to Alexis on her journey, and I do hope she finds success.

- Amy on December 13th, 2006

It’s so difficult when all you want is a baby but your body is failing you. It took me 17 months to conceive my daughter. Third round of clomid ended up getting me to ovulate and I conceived that cycle. I never took any pregnancy tests until that cycle and the first one I took was positive. I think the thing that was more difficult to deal with was a couple friends of mine started trying for babies months after we did and they conceived AND gave birth before I even got pregnant.
It’s all worth it in the end though. My daughter is my world.

- Lorus on December 13th, 2006

Michelle,
Thank you so much for your comment! It really is a hard thing to deal with. I am happy to hear from people who know exactly how I feel. I hope we can figure out what it is we need to do. I hope you have a great pregnancy and a healthy baby!!

- Alicia on December 14th, 2006

Alicia, I was also diagnosed with PCOS after years of being disappointed with negative pregnancy tests. I found a PCOS support group online and read that some members got pregnant after going on a low-carb diet (since PCOS is usually caused by insulin-resistance). So I started one, and got regular periods again, and 4 months later, was pregnant and had a healthy boy. I’m not saying that it’s the “cure-all” for PCOS (my doctor doesn’t believe it, any way) but that support group really helped my depression at the time and gave me hope–you might find some other advice there that could be helpful! Good luck to you!

- lala on December 14th, 2006

I’m sorry that Alexis is going through this. I haven’t reached the IVF level yet but have been dealing with infertility for a while. It sucks! I cant wait for Martha to be a grandmother!

- Lissette on December 14th, 2006

We tried artificial insemination twice. The second time worked and then we were pregnant again naturally when our first was 6 months old. I was 40 with my first and 41 with my second. Alexis is going through what me and a lot of my close friends went through. It’s her age and quite possibly, the time isn’t right even though she wants it badly. She will get pregnant when she’s supposed to get pregnant, just like life…we get what we’re supposed to get WHEN we’re supposed to have it. It’s the law of the universe.

- JosieK on December 14th, 2006

I had cervical cancer 2/06. I did have a procedure done to just take out my cervix as I had not been married a year when I found out about the cancer! We were devestated but after surgery, we were hopeful to have a healthy baby. Well, we have done three rounds of Clomid fertility medicine and one round of artificial insemination with no luck yet! I am not getting too discouraged yet because I do believe God will do the right thing. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!

- Melissa on January 16th, 2007

This message is for Alexis: I became pregnant at 35 and had an abortion. At 41, I underwent fertility treatments with no success. I became pregnant naturally at 45, but I miscarried. I tried fertility treatments again, undergoing several artificial inseminations, as well as donor egg, without success. With a donor egg and a donor sperm, I was only to be a surrogate.
I always wanted to be a mother, to experience my pregnancies; that was not to be.
I adopted my very beautiful, extremely smart daughter from Russia. I could not love her more. She is now a very pretty, happy ten-year-old. I am a fulfilled, happy mother of the child I always wanted.

Alexis, if you would like to contact me, I, single mom, would be happy to hear from you.

- Glynnis on February 20th, 2008