Jamelia – too busy to get married; too scared to have another baby

British singer Jamelia says she really does want to marry her footballer fiance Darren Byfield, but because she is too busy with her singing career and he with his football career, the two just can’t find the time to tie the knot. "We do want to get married, it’s honestly just a case of when we’ve got the time," she told Britains’ New magazine. "We want it to be right and we want it to be the perfect day. It will most definitely happen but it could be next year or the year after."

Jamelia and Darren have one daughter, 13-month-old Tiani, and she has another daughter, 5-year-old Teja,  from a previous relationship. The "Superstar" songstress says she’s not sure if she wants to go through the whole process of childbirth again, especiallly after undergoing natural childbirth with her youngest daughter.

"It was Darren’s first child so I thought I’d do it naturally. Oh my God, it was the only time it will ever happen," she says, "Towards the end I was screaming for a Caesarean. And the language coming out of my mouth! Afterwards I had to apologize to the midwife!"

Source: Female First

Thanks to CBB Reader Mary Beth.

Comments

I have to say, reading about a womans’ experience with a natural birth and having her say she did it for the wrong reasons and regrets it is really refreshing. All I read anymore is how women feel like they have to have natural births and if they have epidurals or c-sections, they haven’t “given birth properly.” Kate Winslet is a perfect example-she said that since she needed a c-section with her daughter, she didn’t feel like she truly gave birth until she had her son naturally. I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand this attitude toward childbirth. The method of childbirth is so insignificant compared to the fact that you have given life to another human being that you helped create. Women need to do what is best for THEM in the delivery room and not cave into this type of pressure.

- Lauren on November 29th, 2006

Lauren, I totally agree with you.
I have nothing against natural
childbirth — whatever works best
for the mother and gets her
a healthy baby ! I just can’t
stand people who say stuff like “Oh my goodness, high five, girl ! Not taking
pain killers is how nature intended it !
You didn’t let modern science
sucker you !” And yes, I’ve
really seen comments like that
on other websites : P I wouldn’t
look down on someone who had
pain medicine / anesthesia /novicane for
their dental work, open heart surgery, or a
vasectomy and think “Wussy. Real men can
do without it.” It’s really sad
how we women make other women
feel bad about that kind of stuff : X

- AllisonJenny on November 29th, 2006

Lauren and AllisonJenny, thank you for the comments. I don’t plan on having children anytime soon, but when I do, I want to choose my own birthing method and not be judged.

- stephanie on November 29th, 2006

I don’t necessarily think, in comment to the two ladies above, that when people in general scoff at celebrities who have caesereans it is because they look down on the act itself. It’s because so many celebrities CHOOSE to avoid the natural pain of natural childbirth. They have elective, unnecessary operations. We were intended to give birth vaginally and I do believe that is the best way – however I have nothing against the use of c-sections medically. I do think if you’ve tried natural birth and don’t like it, tho, that that’s your decision!

- charlotte on November 29th, 2006

my mom tried to do it naturally all three times but there were always complications. I was breech, my bother had his hand wrapped up in his hair on top of his head, and after 22 hours of labour the docs finnally realized my youngest brother was trying to come out at a slanted angle.

- Punk_of_a_Tomboy on November 29th, 2006

Well, I am not a fan of torture and when I give birth I will take any method of pain relief they can give me.

- Karen on November 29th, 2006

The way some people feel about natural vs. c-section births goes right along with the judgemental opinions people have about breast vs. bottle. Neither subject should be scrutinized by the “mommy police”. You are not a “good” mother JUST because you breastfeed (or give birth naturally) and you are not a “bad” mother because you choose (or cannot) do either. Women need to start supporting each other more instead of always comparing and competing.

- M on November 29th, 2006

Charlotte – But why is it our business if they elect to have a c-section? How does it effect us in any way? Why should it be our business for them to try natural delivery first?

- Diana on November 30th, 2006

I have four children and never had medicine, because each time I dialted so quickly and they didn’t want meds in the baby’s system.

But, if had been able to get some meds, I definitely would’ve gotten them and if I could’ve gotten a c-section vs natural without medicine, I would’ve opted for that also. LOL

I say kudos to the moms who have babies natural, with meds, or c-sections we take a risk with them all and we are all still mothers.

- Melanie F. on November 30th, 2006

fortunately I had a pda and I NEVER even thought about a c-section. if I would have needed one, ok, gotta accept that, but not even trying.. that’s not for me. a friend of mine had a scheduled c-section and she wasn’t able to see her baby for a whole hour after the surgery and afterwards she had even more pain than I had. I never judged her, I just felt sorry for her and her baby.

- savanna on December 1st, 2006