Malawian man says he didn't know Madonna would keep his son

Despite his previous assertion that he wanted Madonna to adopt his son David, Yohane Banda, the father of Madonna and Guy Ritchie‘s new Malawian son, is now saying that he didn’t understand that David would become their son permanently.  In an interview with Reuters TV, Yohane said, "Had they told us thatMadonna wanted to adopt my son and make him her own son, we would nothave agreed to that."

He added,"Itwould have been better for him to continue staying at the orphanagebecause I see no reason why my child should be given away forever whenI can feed him.  Icannot read and write so I relied on what the (government) officialstold me that the papers said Madonna would look after the child the waythe orphanage planned to educate him and then he comes back to me."

He said that he sent David to live at the orphanage because after his wife passed away of malaria, he could not afford formula nor could his grandmother breastfeed him.  He told People magazine, "David was born when Malawi didn’t have enough food.  Even if we wanted to give him porridge, we had none.  In any case, you don’t give porridge to a 1-week-old baby."

"We sent this child to an orphanage because at onemonth we could not look after him, we did not have a health centernearby and the orphanage was the ideal place for him," he said.

"Whatwe agreed with Madonna was that she looks after my child until hefinishes school, becomes independent and comes back home to us," hesaid.

Source: CNN and People, October 30, 2006 issue

Thanks to CBB Readers Alisha and Maya.

If David’s father was confused or even tricked about the nature of David’s adoption, should he be returned to his father?

Comments

Heavenly_Hibiscus on October 22nd, 2006

This is very sad
As I mentioned in an earlier post ‘adoption’ is not the norm in a lot of countries – therefore implications are not fully understood until it is too late.

I find it odd Madonna & Guy chose to adopt a child who is part of a family. Of all the orphans in Africa why not a child who had no ties as such?

I fear if the child is not returned this will forever follow Madonna. David is also at an age where he is too young to remember.

mh on October 22nd, 2006

She should give the boy back to his father, and if she truly loves him, give the father and child a good life *together.* One day David will know his father wanted him, and a world of wealth won’t make the fact that he was taken away any less traumatizing. Potentially, the adoption will be something he completely resents his adoptive family for.

annie on October 22nd, 2006

This is ridiculous. The man did not give his child to Madonna, he gave him to an ORPHANAGE. Legally, he should have no say whatsoever in what happens to his son after that point. If Madonna agreed to let him see the child periodically, it was just out of the goodness of her heart. This shouldn’t even be an issue.

In my opinion, if this man had just kept his mouth shut Madonna could’ve gotten through this process alot more smoothly. No one needed to know about this before it was completed. It’s very sad. You help a child who clearly needs it and nobody is on your side. This man is ridiculous. He keeps changing his story and he needs to back off. If this weren’t a celebrity no one would say this man deserved any say in anything. I’m sorry he had to give up his son, but he knew what he was doing. It’s also important to remember that he didn’t give the child up knowing Madonna would adopt him, so saying that he handed him over thinking she’d bring him back would be stupid.

Esther Panda on October 22nd, 2006

Please everybody know what adoption means even David’s father !!! It’s easy now to say that he didn’t undertstand. In his previous statement he said how happy he was that his son coulf have a better life.. It remember me when the grand mother of Zahara said the same thing..

gargoylegurl on October 23rd, 2006

I think this is either a totally fabricated story or the father is full of it. There are a lot of people that don’t like Madonna, and a lot of people that were against her adopting David. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone has just started a nasty rumor…that, or someone has paid the father to suddenly have a change of heart. Something doesn’t add up here…

Stephanie on October 23rd, 2006

I personally feel that this man knew full well what he was doing, but in an attempt for his 15 seconds of fame, hes saying this. Madonna would be able to provide a much better home for David, and the child’s welfare is what this is all about. He deserves the best, and she will be able to give him that.

But I also think that Madonna should keep open lines of communication with David’s father aswell as annual trips to visit.

Dorkiee on October 23rd, 2006

Didnt the father, just last week say something along the lines of “i couldn’t care for him, thats the reason he was in the orphanage in the first place, and an orphanage is the last place a child should be”. or something to that extent. I could be wrong.

Now hes wishing the child back there? In poverty that could ultimately lead to his death?. You can slate me if you wish (as it is his child) But, it seems very selfish.

Something doesnt add up with this whole adoption and my heart goes out to the child. Its an every day “Tug-of-Love” only this time involving the media.

Autumn on October 23rd, 2006

It seems to me the human rights groups probably got through to Mr. Banda and convinced him/made him realise that Madonna wasn’t just sponsoring David a’la Child World, Compassion International, Christian Children’s Fund, etc. but instead was literally adopting him.

Really I don’t know if Banda had known if his son was being adopted and didn’t care, until the Human Rights groups made him care, or if they’re just using him as their voice to criticize Madonna thus putting words in his mouth?

Ali on October 23rd, 2006

When the child is 18 he can make his own choices anyway. And I doubt he would want to go back!
All this sounds fishy to me. Come on now, how could he not know?

Alicia on October 23rd, 2006

I find it intresting. Ok so when the child becomes an adult Madonna is supposed to bring him back. That is silly what if he doesn’t want to go back? You can’t make him go back than. If the child comes back now what is changing that the father can care for him?

Stacy B on October 23rd, 2006

Very strange….this whole situation is weird. Why didn’t she pick a child without parents (I’m sure there are many)? This seems so much more complicated that he has a living father.

alexp on October 23rd, 2006

It should also be noted that the father has stated that he does not want his son returned to the orphanage. Personally, I think Papa is looking for money. It’s ridiculous to say that he understood that he would be raised by Madonna, but that he would be returned to his village when he was grown. The point is, he’s GROWN, which means that he can go anywhere he wants, and my bet is that the rich little boy won’t be returning to his village (at least not for any great length of time).

jr on October 23rd, 2006

At this point, I know Madonna has spent a lot of time, effort, energy, and emotion to bring David home with her, but it just feels wrong to keep the child if the father says he didn’t understand. It’s one thing to change your mind three years down the road and demand your child back; it’s another to claim to come to understand the situation a few days later and come to a different conclusion.

I guess the part about this story that always struck me as odd was that David already had a father (albeit one who could not currently care for him). His father seemed interested in his child’s welfare, so all in all it seemed strange from the outset. Why didn’t she choose a child who had no living parents?

Regardless, what a mess of bad publicity – there’s no way Madonna could do it right now; she’ll get heat either way.

Katie on October 23rd, 2006

It’s amazing that with her army of helpers and lawyers, that someone didn’t ensure everything was above board. Madonna should return the boy to his family, and set them up financially to take care of him. If she still wants to adopt she should make sure the kid really is an orphan. If she really wants to make a difference in this poverty-stricken country she should open up her wallet. Why not adopt a special needs kid from her own country? There are a lot of adoption possibilities for her other than riding on Angelina’s coat tails.

lb on October 23rd, 2006

If the father is having doubts, Madonna should return David. She could then give a home to a true orphan.

jen on October 23rd, 2006

On foxnews.com there is a picture of David and his father. This situation is sad, I just know I dont like the idea of a child being raised in an orphanage, when he could have a family, celebrity or not.

joy on October 23rd, 2006

This story just gets more controversial day 2 day! But I was under the impression that they already went through a few hearings and you mean to tell me this whole time nobody fully explained the “adoption” to this man?! I personally think she should get to keep the baby because it sounds like he’d be better off with Madonna however if he truly didn’t understand the procedure somebody needs to do a better job at making sure these parents know the full meaning of adoption before they allow them to sign away their kids.

Ana on October 23rd, 2006

oh poor man … he just wants to be on tv

Kristen on October 23rd, 2006

This is sad.
Here this child has a great life filled with a family and food and his father starts this.
He had to know his child had a chance at being adopted when he placed him in that home..
Hopefully hes not doing this for money, if I were him I would just let the child be with Madonna, she can give him a better life.

Shmoo on October 23rd, 2006

Giving a child a better life is one thing. Taking a child who already has a family is another. Choose a child who doesn’t already have that benefit.

Erin on October 23rd, 2006

I find this all rather suspect considering he has said in other articles that he was thrilled that David was adopted by Madonna and wished him a wonderful future.

Also, when Angelina adopted Zahara there was a big blow-up saying her mother was still alive and wanted her back, yada, yada. I think this is all another ridiculous report to make Madonna out to be a horrible person, etc.

Funny how all these adopted African babies cause such a lot of drama (all of which seems to be fabricated.)

Madi on October 23rd, 2006

I don’t understand this. He gave up all rights to his child when he put him up for adoption, so what did he really think Madonna was going to do with him? Take him on vacation before sticking him back in that poor orphanage? If I was a parent who had to put my child up for adoption, I would be elated to have Madonna adopt him/her. Madonna seems like a great mother and she can give this child anything he wants.

MamaMia5 on October 24th, 2006

Madonna walked into an orphanage and handpicked a child from a line-up, much like most people choose fruit. I don’t care how much money she has, this child HAS a family.

His father put him in an orphanage because he couldn’t afford formula, not because he didn’t want him. If she felt a special bond with the child, she should have ponied up some dough and reunited him with his family. Then she could have picked a real orphan.

As far as this man wanting his “15 minutes of fame,” please! Malawi is not America people. He probably doesn’t even know what a television is. Are people taking advantage of this poor man? You bet!

Anyway, when all is said and done, Madonna will still have the boy because, well, she’s Madonna, and Madonna is all about Madonna. She’s also rich, which will come in handy when all those therapy bills start rolling in.

Sc on October 24th, 2006

I would like to know how much the father is being paid for all these interviews. It just seems very fishy to me that he never understood adoption. Madonna probably knew that this would cause a bit of controversy and it just seems strange that they would go through the process and not bother to explain everything to the father. Its just sad that he had to use his child as a money ticket.

I think Madonna should give the child back after all this trouble. She tried to do a fantastic thing by adopting a child only for it to be thrown back in her face by un-grateful people. I feel sorry for all the orphans in Malawi because this is just going to have a negative effect on people wanting to adopt from there.

ili175 on October 24th, 2006

I think there are a few things to be considered here:
1) Regular Malawian Adoption laws were circumvented or bent for the benefit of a woman whom probably 99% of Malawians have never even heard of. Normally foreign adoptions of Malawians are not allowed or severely restricted in a fashion that was not applied to Madonna. Furthermore, unless the critics here are intimately familiar with Malawian Adoption Law, it is impossible to say what rights this man did or did not give up when he placed his son in the Orphanage (and it’s not like Madonna didn’t know he existed and couldn’t actually have had a frank discussion with him about adopting his son).
2) We are not talking about a man who has any experience with legal matters or lawyers or anything to do with the law. It may be that his lawyer did not explain things to him clearly, but assuming that he understood the exact nature of the adoption and is trying to get 15′ of fame is short-changing him when of the two, Madonna is the one who should have been hyper-sensitive to the circumstances of the adoption. He’s got enough problems feeding himself regularly.
3) This man put his child in an orphanage because it was the only way to ensure that his son would be fed properly and regularly. He was also visiting his child at the orphanage every week, traveling a long way to see him.
Given the apparent confusion in how the rules were bent for Madonna, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t understand exactly what was happening.

If you’ve never been to sub-Saharan Africa, please don’t make judgements about how easy or hard anything is to do or assumptions about how YOU would react in the same situation as this man. Some comments sound like a woman I overheard in a restaurant last year talking about how she couldn’t imagine being a Pakistani driving to school to pick up her child and there being no school because of the earthquake. Umm, there’s no car either and 99% of people in those areas don’t “pick up” their children from school.

Kori on October 24th, 2006

If he was in an orphanage for orphans of AIDS victims she probably fell in love with him before knowing any of his parents were alive. In an interview, Banda said he understood what was happening. I can’t believe human rights groups are fighting this…they are acting like it’s a bad thing that Madonna is trying to save a child’s life! This world can be so backwards.

melanie on October 24th, 2006

To me it seems like someone let David’s father in on just how incredibly wealthy Madonna is. I hate to say it, but it seems like his change of heart came very soon after the adoption was made public. I’m sure this is why she didn’t adopt in England or the U.S. Can you imagine the number of relatives that would come out of the closet trying to claim the child after they found out he/she was adpoted by Madonna? I really feel for her right now.

annie on October 24th, 2006

I’d just like to say that Madonna is NOT responsible for the entire world’s problems. When normal well-to-do people adopt a child do they set the family of the child up for life? It angers me that people think she should. I find this man’s life sad, but she owes him nothing. In reality. It isn’t difficult to realise what this man is doing. His brother said it all when he said that Madonna should take the father to London too. That’s horrible. It’s clear his family got to him and now he’s fully aware of what her wealth could have in store for him. I get the feeling that he’s gonna get exactly what I’d bet he wants. I don’t think she’ll raise this child knowing that his father is dirt poor when he’s sleeping in designer sheets. You can all stop whining – she’ll probably help him out somehow. What about all the other poor people in the world? Oh no, this one’s special.

And for everyone who says that she should have picked a child without a family – SHE DID. For whatever reason, good or bad, this child was put into an orphanage because he had no one else. It seems to me that most children who are adopted were willingly given up by their parents. Not because they are dead. Children whose parents couldn’t afford them or just didn’t want them deserve a good home and a loving family just as much as any others. It doesn’t matter that his father visited him. If he thought putting him into an orphanage meant raising him while someone else picked up the tab – much like some of you say Madonna should do – then he got the rude awakening of a lifetime.

natalie on October 24th, 2006

I still think it was irresponsible to take a child away from his father even considering the dire circumstances they were in. Take an orphan instead! Or set the child and his father up financially.

gargoylegurl on October 24th, 2006

Someone commented above that David’s biological father doesn’t understand fame…maybe so, but I’m sure he understands money…nuff said!

melanie on October 24th, 2006

If people only adopted children with no parents, the VAST majority of children would never be adopted. It is very unusual for a child to not have either living parent. My husband and his 4 siblings are all adopted and were given up for adoption by living parents. In fact, we know many people/children who have been adopted and ALL were given up by a living parent. I don’t think people should spread the message that the only children that should be adpoted are the ones with two deceased parents. Kids are in an orphanage because they need a home and are waiting to be adopted. That is how it works. Madonna did not steal anyone’s baby away (although it sure makes headlines to say she did). She gave a home to a little boy who desperately needed one. As for the dad’s claims- bollocks. He’s now claiming he can feed the child and take care of him. Why has he been sitting in an orphanage for over a year? Don’t you think if you truly wanted your child back, you would come and get him as soon as you could feed him and take care of him?

Katie on October 24th, 2006

As much as I feel for a parent and child being separated and knowing that the reason he put his son in the orphanage was that he was unable to care for him by himeself, not that he was an unwanted baby the fact remains….the baby was given up for adoption! When he put him in the orphanage (no matter how unlikely the possiblity of adoption was) it was still his intent. I mean an orphanage is not a baby holding zone where one can deposit and remove a child accordingly and I am sure he was made aware of this. If Madonna gives up the baby I understand however I think that what this probably indicates is that he realizes that he can make $$$ whether its from the media of his sons adoptive mother. That being said I with the Richie family, baby David and his biological father a happy outcome for all.

Julie on October 25th, 2006

You guys should look into the circumstances before you become so judgemental and harsh on this guy. You have to understand these people. They aren’t educated like Americans. We know that an orphanage means you’re giving up your kid. They aren’t made aware of this. They just know they’re kid is being fed. The idea of him going with Madonna and being educated and taken care of until 18 sounds silly to us, but what about boarding school? Americans send they’re kids away to be raised, only coming home on the holidays/weekends. That must be how this guy viewed it. I mean this is a place (the general contenant of Africa) where poverty is the norm and circumsizing women is ok. These people struggle everyday to just live. They don’t have the basics we do, like access to television, education, access to lawyers, so he very well may not have known the extent of the adoption. And of course he was happy in the beginning, he thought his son was going to America for education and to be raised, but to still be his son. I know it sounds silly to us, but this may be how he viewed it.

Motro on October 25th, 2006

I don’t think this man is looking for his “15 minutes”. He is from a rural village in Africa so we all know he isn’t seeking out the media. This poor man lost his wife and then had to give up his child because he could not care for him. Let’s keep in mind that the media tends to twist things and put words in people’s mouths (even without the language barrier). Just think if you were in his position and the world began to question you, until you are in his position no one has the right to judge. Also, having seen Madonna’s response on Oprah today she is a lot more understanding than anyone else has been. Everyone needs to have some empathy instead of judgement.