Ed Burns talks about marriage and fatherhood

Before Ed Burns got married to supermodel Christy Turlington, he didn’t have cold feet – but when he became a dad for the first time in 2003, he said he was scared as he didn’t know what to expect.

"Before my daughter was born I definitely wrestled with, ‘God, I still feel like such a kid.’ I still hang out with the same guys I hung out with; we still play our dopey Saturday afternoon softball game. We all still feel like 22-year-olds. Do I know how to be a good dad? You discover you do because you have no choice. You kind of figure it out and do it."

Now Ed and Christy have two kids – Grace, 2 1/2, and Finn, 5 months – and he says that he absolutely loves being a dad.  He also said that getting married and having kids later in life allowed him to appreciate this experience so much more.

"I’m just so thankful that I had kids at this age… For people getting married in their mid-20s, you’re really just out of high school and college. You don’t really have time to think and reflect, you were kind of thrown into this adult situation. Once you have kids, it’s, like, "I need to get that job, I need benefits, the house, I need the whole nine.  When people put (marriage or kids) off, there’s more time to reflect. You’ve grown used to this adult life, your habits. You really mourn the loss of that freedom and you’re in a different place financially. Then you recognize kids will change that."

Ed’s new movie The Groomsmen (starring Brittany Murphy and Jay Mohr) opens in New York and Los Angeles on July 14.

Source: The Showbuzz

Thanks to CBB readers Vera and Jenn.

Comments

I don’t think I necessarily appreciate Ed Burns’s sentiments about marriage and parenthood for people in their 20s. In fact, I was married in my mid-20s and had my first child at 25. It was a very carefully planned decision to marry as well as have children, and I don’t regret it at all. Perhaps Mr. Burns should clarify that he is speaking for himself only rather than lumping it as follows: “I’m just so thankful that I had kids at this age… For people getting married in their mid-20s, you’re really just out of high school and college. You don’t really have time to think and reflect, you were kind of thrown into this adult situation.”

- atsirk on July 15th, 2006

I agree. I didn’t like his “this applies for everybody” tone.

- Lydia on July 15th, 2006

I cannot agree more ^^^. What works for one person may not work for another! I’m glad that he waited to have his children (great names BTW!), but that doesn’t mean I should. He kind of has the know-it-all tone that irks me about Gwyneth Paltrow once in awhile.

- Jaclyn on July 15th, 2006

I don’t think he sounds like a know-it-all. A lot of what he says is true. Let’s face it, most people are probably wiser and more financially secure at 35 than they are at 25.

- Hannah on July 15th, 2006

Geez let the stampede begin. Seems Mr. Burns might have hit a little too close to home for some of you. I completely agree with him and Hannah. I get asked all the time at 27 when am I going to get married and have kids. I know we are always learning and growing as individuals but I know the 30-ish version of myself would be a way better parent than the 20-ish version of myself. I mean what benefit is there to youth besides energy? – it certainly isn’t wisdom. I am so remarkably different (wiser but not worse for wear) in my later 20′s than my early 20′s or teens. I can’t imagine thinking I have enough knowledge and life experience at those younger stages of my life to depart onto another being. Being older doesn’t mean better unless you have actually learned from life’s experiences and grown. I know I’m a more responsible, skillful, patient and understanding person now than ever before. I am a better pet owner, daughter, SO, friend, neighbor, student, citizen and overall person now than I was before I “grew up”. Why wouldn’t that apply to parenting too? That anyone in their early 20′s feels fully grown, knows themself inside and out, and has enough understanding of their life and the world to instill values and beliefs into a new life terrifies me. You can never be 100% ready for kids, but you can sure be at a better place in your life financially, psychologically and intellectually. My parents were young and had all the energy to play with me but not even a high school education. How can you learn anything from someone who hasn’t learned yet themself? If you really want to give your children the best in life, why not give them the best version of yourself (i.e. the more grown & mature version)? Mr. Burns wasn’t shunning young parenthood. He was saying that there’s a difference and if you are so bent about his words maybe it’s because you know they are true.

- agtdonut on July 16th, 2006

I think that this sounds like you aren’t fully grown up and don’t know what you are talking about. Guess what, different people have different life experiences and when you are young you have a lot more to offer than just energy. Maybe you are going to be a better parent at 30 because maybe you will learn not to sterotype people and lump them all together. I have learned that in my 20s and can already pass that on to my children

- Lola on July 17th, 2006

Funny… My cousin and I were just talking about this on Saturday. We are both the oldest of three children. She has three children, and she is 28. I have two children and I am 28. We feel that we are better parents for our children then we would be if we had them later. My aunt that had her son at 33 felt she was too old because by the time he went to kindergarten she was almost 40. She felt that she would have had more energy had she been a younger mom. My step-mom had my sister at 40 due to infertility issues, and now she is almost 50 and she is an old mom compared to the other moms in her daughter’s class. It is a preference, but people need to stop debating the issue…If it isn’t bottles vs breastfeeding, or cloth diapers vs disposables, working moms vs stay at home moms, or natural births over c-sections.. Everyone is different, but we as humans have no right to tell someone else what is better for the next person. It seems as if most women “get off” on attacking other people’s lifestyles…

and agtdonut.. Obviously your parents taught you something. You seem to have turned out okay so their lack of education must have taught you something.

- Yonni on July 17th, 2006